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Original poster

Already dreading all the birthday presents - HELP

38 replies

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 21:00

DS is soon to be 5. Most of his class have had big full class parties, although a lot of them have been shared. There are no boys who share a birthday around DS's so that isn't an option. Also as we have been to so many full class parties, I am not going down the line of cutting numbers etc, everyone will be invited.

As there is probably going to be about 30 children there I'm starting to get a little anxious about all the presents DS will receive. His room is full of tat toys already and the thought of another 30 bits of plastic to get squeezed in is not appealing.

I don't want to ask for no presents as DS would be gutted if he didn't get anything, but is there anything I can do to get a happy medium or any strategies about dealing with the excess?

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bosch · 29/01/2011 21:03

one of my ds's friends (or his mum) had the idea of asking for a £1 from everybody only, and then he could buy one present and take it to school for show and tell. Could never persuade my boys to do it but thought it was really admirable idea.

Or you could ask for £2 and split it 50:50 with a charity?

SingingSands · 29/01/2011 21:03

Have a big clear out the month before his party? There must be plenty of toys he has grown out of that you can bag up and take to a charity shop?

Original poster

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 21:07

That's a good idea bosch, I don't know if I could collect money from the other parents though, that would feel a bit weird. Singingsands, I'm constantly going through his room, but DH loves buying him things so although he has loads of stuff most of it is age appropriate. Also I am not a tidy person, which DS has inherited unfortunately, so find it hard to keep on top of things.

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MrsShrekTheThird · 29/01/2011 21:07

I have no idea if it's "done", but is there any scope for asking for vouchers as there's 'something' he's saving up for? Have never done it (but we have a dumping ground playhouse in the garden) We're always going to spend a fiver on other kids' birthdays, so how you have it or what you have I don't much care, and personally I wouldn't mind if a parent said that their dc was saving up for something and as there was limited space would we mind very much making a donation instead of buying a present. Don't know what the consensus would be though - do you have a particular friend you could test the water with if that is the way you think of going?

Original poster

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 21:16

Sorry Mrsshrek am really trying not to rain on these ideas, but I'd feel really uncomfortable asking people for a voucher. I guess I could do it though if people specifically asked what he is into, tell them there is something from John Lewises he is saving up for, as he does want a new scooter, and put it towards that.

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MrsShrekTheThird · 29/01/2011 21:20

I know what you mean from the position of the one doing the "asking" bit, I'm not sure I'd be that comfortable with doing the asking either... but if I were to be asked then I'd honestly have no problem!!

get a shed?

usernamechanged345 · 29/01/2011 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 21:30

Maybe I need to think of something really small that he might like to collect

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PlanetEarth · 29/01/2011 21:32

We asked for charity donations one year for DD (the party was at a centre run by a charity, so we asked for donations for them).When we first suggested it she was a bit put out but we pointed out the party is supposed to be what's important, not the presents, and she came round. A few people wanted to give her a small present instead of or as well as a donations, so she did have some things to open.

We also gave a donation instead of party bags, and just gave out cake and balloons at the end.

Original poster

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 21:34

Wow planetearth that is really noble. What age was your DD when you did this?

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PlanetEarth · 29/01/2011 21:44

6 I think. Not that noble, I was fed up of plastic tat too! And I really didn't want to do a big party, partly for this reason, so it was a bargaining chip with DD - you can have a big party but you really don't need lots of presents. And she didn't. None of them do. What 6 year old needs 20+ presents from friends for their birthday in addition to the presents from family?

Original poster

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 22:02

Agreed planetearth he certainly doesn't need the stuff but he certainly wants it!

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bosch · 29/01/2011 22:19

rookie - everyone puts the £1 in the envelope with the card, so the worse you have to contend with is ds shaking the unopened envelope to check they've put the quid in

Lamorna · 29/01/2011 22:33

I would say that it is a clear case of not having the class party, does the DC actually enjoy them? If you go ahead I think that you either leave it to people to give or say 'no presents'-you can't tell them what to do.(I bet most of them are planning to recyle the stuff from their own party!)

Original poster

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 22:37

Lamorna I have to confess the party is more because everyone else has had one rather than because DS specifically wants everyone there, but I just can't see a way to cut down the numbers without it becoming a bit awkward, more for me than for DS.

I just don't think I can ask people to give money even if it is less than what they would spend and although I like the idea I don't think it would be fair on DS to be the only boy in his class not to get presents.

One thing I was thinking is we could at least ration them out rather than him ripping them all open in one feverish swoop.

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MCos · 29/01/2011 23:42

Our school requests that parents consider a '5 euro party'. Gift being a card with 5 euros enclosed. If you opt for this, you write 'E5 party' on the invite.
This had been widely adopted/appreciated by the parents. From the receiving end, it is so great not to receive all those presents! On the giving end, it is sooo handy not to have to run to the shop to buy present each time a party invite comes home.
IMO, it was inspired thinking by our parents committee!

Tryharder · 30/01/2011 00:04

A lot of parents will ask you what your child wants. This is the time to suggest things like pencils/felt tips/books/board games etc - things that you can actually keep and put away and use rather than yet another crappy plastic car.

stealthsquiggle · 30/01/2011 00:15

I say go with the flow. We had some really lovely thoughtful presents from DD's last party - ranging from relatively low budget (hair clips and sainsbury's children's jewellery - DD loves it and it takes up almost no room) to high budget (pyjamas, china set) - and almost no plastic space-taking tat at all.

treelily · 30/01/2011 07:25

After christmas and birthdays I get DD to choose a few things to give to charity. She seems less bothered about losing some of her old toys when she has a load of new ones and it creates a bit of space!

knottyhair · 30/01/2011 07:45

The last all-class party we had was when DS was 5. I have a friend whose DS has cerebral palsy and she'd set up a fund to raise money for a new wheelchair he desperately needed. We, after talking to DS, decided that he would have family presents only that year, and if people wanted to bring something, to bring a donation for this fund. DS was surprisingly receptive to this, although it did help that he knew the child. He was also incredibly proud of himself when he received a lovely letter of thanks from my friend. I think children are quite up for this, if it's explained to them in a certain way, and if you can choose a charity that they have some sort of connection with maybe? It's not just the fact that they end up with 30 presents and it's so much, I think it's also that it's usually stuff they either already have or don't want!

Lamorna · 30/01/2011 08:15

'Our school requests that parents consider a '5 euro party'. Gift being a card with 5 euros enclosed. If you opt for this, you write 'E5 party' on the invite.'

I am thoroughly glad that mine are old enough to have escaped these 'corporate' parties. Why does the school get involved? What has it got to do with them? Do they host it? I would buck the trend and invite the friends they want. (not sure how people can afford it, they whole class wouldn't fit in my house!)

Greeninkmama · 30/01/2011 08:41

Ask DS what he wants. He might prefer cinema and pizza with two friends. You don't have to do the whole class thing - most people won't notice.

Loopymumsy · 30/01/2011 09:50

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HappyMummyOfOne · 30/01/2011 10:24

Just go with the flow, many parents will ask for ideas and craft sets, puzzle books etc are all fun yet easily disposable after use. The lego games are fab and you can get some small boxed ones. You can always save some after opening for the long summer hols so that he has new things for then.

I'm with you re not specifying cash or vouchers as it seems like a party is only done for the presents. DS loves getting invites and going shopping for the gift and paper, he always chooses well in the main.

If donations were requested to charity for a childs party, I'll be honest and say I would ignore it. Its a childs party and part of the fun after is opening the gifts. Children can be taught about charity without having to forfeit the simple pleasures of being a child.

DS has his birthday not long after christmas, we just have a huge clearout in Dec and donate what we can to the school fair and then a good sort out. He had a mix for his birthday last year, some bought gifts and some put money in his cards - most gifts from school friends were small and easily used up.

FutureNannyOgg · 30/01/2011 15:55

There's always regifting as an option for the ones he doesn't like.

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