Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Already dreading all the birthday presents - HELP

38 replies

rookiemater · 29/01/2011 21:00

DS is soon to be 5. Most of his class have had big full class parties, although a lot of them have been shared. There are no boys who share a birthday around DS's so that isn't an option. Also as we have been to so many full class parties, I am not going down the line of cutting numbers etc, everyone will be invited.

As there is probably going to be about 30 children there I'm starting to get a little anxious about all the presents DS will receive. His room is full of tat toys already and the thought of another 30 bits of plastic to get squeezed in is not appealing.

I don't want to ask for no presents as DS would be gutted if he didn't get anything, but is there anything I can do to get a happy medium or any strategies about dealing with the excess?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

rookiemater · 30/01/2011 17:35

Thanks everyone for the ideas. I do feel uncomfortable making any special specifications around the present as Happymummyofone says it looks as if its being done for the presents, which it definitely isn't.

I will definitely go for the option of suggesting crafting stuff, DS doesn't have loads of that ( as DH keeps confiscating pens and paints but that is a whole other story) so could point people in that direction or lego which is always well received and not too big.

OP posts:

SweetKate · 30/01/2011 19:05

In DS's class there is always a collection organised by one of the other mums. We are quite a well off area/school so they normal donation is £5 per family. There is no obligation to contribute and if parents want to buy a present, they can do so. However, most parents do give to the collection. It is fantastic! The child gets the opportunity to buy a really nice present that they want and the parents don't have to put up with a lot of stuff the child doesn't want/need.

I did the collection for a party just before Christmas. Each child got about £80 and the mums were absolutely delighted. I got a nice card and wrote all the names of the children who had contributed.

Do you have a close friend that could organise it for you? If so, send out an email to all the mums saying that you are thinking of doing this. XX's mum will be in the playground after school to collect the money. No obligation but hopefully this will make it easier for you all as well.

bacon · 30/01/2011 22:08

Wow, never heard of a class party??? I hate tat too. Isnt 5 a bit young to be taking shopping to chose a present for a friend? I'm not keen on this giving options to very young children as they have no concept.

Children receive the best toys from their family surely, so small gifts are just going to be thrown to one side.

I aim for clothing, boring but it gets used, even nice socks. Paints, pencils, stickers are always used.

My god, really this system is a stupid idea you could be buying gifts for the whole class continually - what a stress! DS1 school does cakes, great!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

stealthsquiggle · 30/01/2011 22:23

I often ask hosting mothers - sometimes they have quite specific lists and I am more than happy to go with that (my favourite ones being the under budget requests, to which I then add a related 'extra' of some sort to give an element of surprise) - failing that I do take some direction from my DC as they generally seem to have a pretty accurate idea of what any given friend would like - but I would never let them loose to choose completely. We have one relative who does that - her DD chooses for our DD - we end up with some awful tat, which DD of course adores and values all the more because she hero-worships the child in question . If all party guests did the same I might not be quite so philosphical about it.

mackereltaitai · 30/01/2011 22:31

We have reached the point locally where quite often the party host co-opts a playground mum friend and she is the contact for a joint present. I was slightly nervous of doing it the first time but it meant you could insist on keeping everyone's contribution small (say £2 or £3 each) and then get one bigger present taht the child will really like. Finally the big class parties are dying off (ds is 7) so this is much less of an issue, but in the 3 - 6 years it's a bit of a trial!

FreudianSlippery · 30/01/2011 22:32

Interesting thread!

Not experienced this too much yet as DD is only 3.7 but she does get a lot of 'stuff' especially from family!

Definitely have a big clear out before the big day - but I'd just go with the flow tbh. Kids like choosing presents for friends!

A lot of it will be tat that only lasts a month or so anyway, as parents will probably spend a few quid on it - they often have a short 'natural life' IYSWIM :o

Lamorna · 31/01/2011 08:34

Bring back the old days when you had simple parties at home with a few friends and a few presents! I think this is dire. Ask everyone so you have to hire a hall, put the presents in a black sack so the child never gets the pleasure of seeing their present opened. Take them home open, recycle, take to the charity shop etc and mother types out a thank you letter. Ask the birthday DC what Josh gave him and he hasn't a clue! If I had a 5 yr old now I would refuse to do it!!

Dancergirl · 31/01/2011 11:33

Would also point out that don't feel pressurised into having a huge party just because everyone else is. Too late for this time I know, but next time you might consider doing a much smaller party say with 5 or 6 close friends. Some children cope better with fewer children and will cut down on the presents too!

BlueberryPancake · 31/01/2011 13:44

At our school one mum always volunteers to collect money if there's a birthday party where all the kids are invited. Everyone usually gives 5 pounds.

But then we don't do birthday parties and only invite 5 children from DS' class.

GrimmaTheNome · 31/01/2011 13:54

You'll probably find the 'whole class' parties dwindle - first to just boys, then to about 6-8 as they want to do particular activities (eg swimming parties, there's usually a limit on how many you can have). So hopefully this issue won't go on too many years.

If I was you I'd ask for craft stuff, lego or k'nex - the sorts of things its hard to have too much of.

Just be glad its a boy so you're not getting Barbies!

monkeyflippers · 31/01/2011 14:27

Mine had a little bit less then that and the presents were fine. A lot were books and things which slot in on the bookshelf hardly making a difference anyway. Not everyone will bring "bits of plastic".

Original poster

rookiemater · 31/01/2011 18:25

Hi all, GrimmaTheNome, I do think this is the only year that we will have everyone and hence why I'm doing it. DS has a lovely class and I like the parents and I just can't bring myself to start cutting down on the invites.

It is a pity there is no system for doing a collection but I just can't bring myself to be the one to organise it.

Lego and crafting things it shall be if anyone asks!

OP posts:

MCos · 31/01/2011 22:53

Lamorna - why did school get involved?
Well, they first asked for input if this was something the parents wanted - and the answer was a resounding YES.
They are not specifiying who to invite, only advising that it was agreed by the parents that a E5 party is acceptable OPTION.

Personally, I love it. No more running to shops, just stick a fiver in a card & DONE.

Flip

1 2