WWYD - DH looks after DC very differently to me when I am working away.

[OnEdge]

I work away most weekends and DH stays at home with the 3 children, 3, 18 months and 5 months.

He looks after them in a different way to me. No baths, often stay in clothes for bed such as t shirts and they stay on the next day too. My Mum will pop in over the weekend and tells me their hair isn't brushed and faces not washed etc.

They do have a great time with him, lots of playing and Dad type chucking about stuff. They eat well, and nappies all changed - no sore bums.

Would you just turn a blind eye, or push for him to bath them etc ?

I think changing clothes should happen but in a later post you said he did a toy removal project but you would rather he concentrated on what you wanted, why you are both parents how would you feel if someone said you should concentrate on what he wanted doen, you need to talk

men do not think or behave like women its a partnership so you have to agree otherwise if you dish out the orders or even appear to it will go wrong I think may be he needs to feel that he can decide some stuff,

I can see both sides you perhaps need to be a little less fussy he a bit more fussy and reach a compromise, men find multi tasking difficult and some help is good like put laundry on while watching tv then do breakfast and get dressed and teeth then put laundry in tumble drier/line or whatever and then you can play knowing its doing itself

the not bathing is ok but say must brush teeth and wash hands and face each day

It really depends on the rest of the stoty tbh. Is he working all week and then caring for the kids on his own all week end?

I have 5 DC's and it is hard work managing them all without a break - sometimes (shock horror) the youngest will stay in the same babygro in the day that he wore that night in bed.

That said I do think he should be changing their clothes over the course of a week end but have you actually spoken to him about this, rather than just asking questions of your Mum?

I would tread carefully - as a sahm I would be pretty annoyed if my DH came home from work and started questioning how I cared for the kids and moaning about the lack of housework - he would get short shrift if I'm honest. But if you approach it in the right way and have a calm conversation then hopefully you guys can meet in the middle.