Anyone had a very difficult/demanding child who has grown out of it?

[confusedperson]

Everyone knows that there are easy children and difficult children. My 3yo DS is a difficult child (aggresively physical, demanding, grumpy, not very happy child in general and makes us tip toe around him) and I wonder if this is in his nature and he will always be like that? Or will he grow out of this?
Sometimes I think that these difficult children can grow up either with a huge potential to achieve well in life, or can be a complete failure. While the "normal" children are likely to grow up to an average person. Maybe I am wrong, but I am so worried about my DS.
Anyone can share any (positive) experiences?

I agree with so much of what you say curly and have one of those heart-on-their-sleeve children. I think they find it much, much harder to develop empathy and be able to see things from anothers perspective. I am actively trying to get my DS2 to think empathetically (not sure if that's a word!), so I'll ask him to imagine how another might feel - he can't yet, at nearly 6 yrs, but I think he might learn to if I keep mentioning it.

I also agree that one-to-one time helps where they are your sole focus - neither me or my DH get into 'issues' when we are alone with DS2 - we have the space and patience to distract and diffuse really early on.

I also think getting enough time away from a challenging child like this is necessary to keep you sane. I don't mean that in a harsh way. DS2 goes to 1 afterschool club a week, which is outwardly so I can have extra work time, but we have picked the one day in the week when DS1 has no afterschool sports so me and DS1 chill out at home for those 2 hours or go supermarket shopping in peace (with coffee shop thrown in!). It sounds a bit indulgent but I think it sets us up for the weekend and helps me to have the energy and patience for the challenges of DS2.

I just try to not feel guilty about the fact that I need that space from him

I just had two sessions of cranial osteophathy for my DS, having been told that long pushing stage at his birth could have had an impact on this temperament. I was told that the effect of the treatment should be seen within 2 weeks, so now fingers crossed!

Haven't read all of thread, but wanted to post my experience.

My DS ( now 7 ) was a very difficult baby and toddler. He was a real screamer, and very demanding. He was a wilful toddler, then didn't get much better all through pre school and kindergarten.

School has been the making of him. He likes structure and routine, so school suits him well. He's very bright and has won the school achievement cup twice. He's a model pupil at school. He can still have his moments at home, but on the whole is a good boy.

His younger sister (4), OTOH, seems to be the reverse. She was the easist baby and toddler ever, but since she started school 3 weeks ago is slowly turning into a demon.....

Dd was extremely hard work - never seemed to sleep, never walked but went straight from crawling to running all over the place, kept on getting lost, enormous tantrums over tiny things (colour of her pants, etc.), very strong-willed, argued about everything, refused to do anything she didn't want to. It was absolutely exhausting, and I was certain I was doing something wrong, as she was my first, and we adored her and probably spoilt her rotten, but my parents and in-laws struggled with her too, so I don't think it was entirely me. She had enormous energy and struggled with the discipline of school at first, her school wanted to send her to be tested for adhd but then we moved because of our jobs and so the tests never took place.

She is now 8 and over the past two years we have seen her turn into an increasingly delightful child. Her behaviour at school has improved no end, which is a great relief, she seems to work hard and never has any trouble with other children. She engages with everything, and has enormous enthusiasm and energy, and is very sociable. We still have our moments and she will argue the back leg off a donkey, she is still very impulsive at times, and does things she later regrets, and I let her get away with a lot because life is too short to spend it all arguing, but overall I find her much easier at the moment than her younger brother, who was a smiley easy-going baby and toddler. It sometimes feels as if we have fought all the battles with my dd and reached a consensus of sorts.

So yes, there is hope!

Well, confusedperson, that is VERY interesting that you say your DS has just had some cranial osteopathy. I can't wait to hear if it has any effect. I actually took DS2 for a couple of sessions when he was about 9 weeks old as he had such bad colic and basically just was unhappy ALL the time. It seemed to do him some good.

Have not really heard about its use in older children so will be watching this thread very closely!

DS is now 4 and I would describe him as a difficult child. He never wants to do as he is asked, he is a picky eater and still often wakes up at 5am.
I suffer from depression and insomnia and although am doing not too bad at the moment am stll finding life difficult.
Our house is always in chaos partly due to how we live but probably also due to the fact I don't have the energy for it all.
DS watches too much TV as it seems like the only thing to keep him occupied when I am too exhausted to entertain him.
DS is very stuborn and our battles often leave me in a state of rage when I just don't seem to have any way out of the situation.
I feel like a shit mum and think DS would be better bought up by other members in the family.
Saying all that I can see great potential in him. He is friendly and cheerful and bright, he will be a great adult but I will be a grey haggared quivering wreck by then.
I won't be having another!
There said it all

Just wondered how your child is now?

Watching this thread with interest. My dd displays many of the traits described in these posts and I sometimes feel so alone with it all, because she is very challenging to parent. She starts school soon and I am anxious about how she will get on there though in general she seems much better behaved at pre-school. I have been blaming myself for things (the way she behaves) but my elder daughter, though wilful, is not really like her sister. Hope over time, with our help, she will manage her emotions (she can also be really caring). At the moment she seems to be saying slightly inappropriate things to adults that she doesn't even know, hoping over time she will develop a better understanding and develop some inhibitions. I was thinking of having her tested for some kind of disorder but I don't believe she displays enough traits for this. It is comforting for me (although sorry) to see that there are other parents out there struggling with this. One of my plans is to give her a bit more one to one time as suggested above and do some more reading on how to manage her behaviour a little more constructively. TBH school will provide some respite for me to re-energise, our activities over the Summer Holidays have been limited because dd quite often shows no fear and doesn't like to follow instructions (although is getting better over time) and is also prone to meltdowns, it doesn't end up being much fun unless you keep things low key.

Oops, just noticed this is an old thread x