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Original poster

Would you leave baby sleeping to go next door with a monitor?

53 replies

agirlcalledvicky · 10/01/2011 09:45

Hi there, was wanting to have an opinion on a dilemma. I live in a row of tiny terrace cottages and we have new neighbours that also have a baby roughly the same age as our DS (6 months). We are getting on really well with them and its nice to have like minded people with a baby so close.

At weekend they invited us round for tea, we put baby boy to bed at 7pm as usual and went next door for a meal with the baby monitor. Our BT monitor works fine through the adjoining wall and when on high sensitivity I can hear DS snoring away happily and I went back and checked on him twice.

I told my mum what we had done and she was horrified that we had left him in the house alone. Is it that bad? Would you?

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thighsmadeofcheddar · 10/01/2011 09:47

Yes I would. If monitor works fine.

Japers · 10/01/2011 09:50

So long as the monitor worked fine and I went back regularly(30 minutes to an hour at most) to check all was well then yes, I would be OK with that.

However, at 6 months they're still pretty easy to move around when they're asleep and it would be quite easy to put him to bed at the neighbours and then bring him home when you come home eliminating any worry over him being alone in the house.

countrybump · 10/01/2011 09:51

Difficult to say without knowing the exact set up of your houses. In one way it's no different to leaving a baby asleep in their room and being somewhere else in a very big house, but I'm not certain I would be able to relax if it was me.

I live in a semi detatched house. If my baby was asleep in the house, I would pop next door for a moment to borrow something/drop something back, but I wouldn't be there more than a few minutes. But, like I say, in a different house, I might feel differently.

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MMQC · 10/01/2011 10:00

I've done similar. I used to leave music playing so I could tell the monitor was working!

Greeninkmama · 10/01/2011 10:17

I think it is wrong actually. The chances are that everything would be absolutely fine, but what about the small likelihood of a burglar or a fire? My best friend did this and I was shocked, not least because they have already been burgled twice while they were in the house.

Original poster

agirlcalledvicky · 10/01/2011 10:21

Wow you lot are quick - thanks for the replies! The terraces are essentially 2-up-2-downs and as you said countrybump to me it is similar to just being somewhere else in a bigger house. I suppose I could pop him to sleep in with their baby but it just seemed easier for him to be in his own cot.

I was just surprised how appalled my mum was to leaving him. She was extremely laid back parent with me and my sister when we were little but obsessive with her precious new grandchild!

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midoriway · 10/01/2011 12:28

I live in a block of secure flats, with good working smoke alarms etc. I get on well with the immediate neighbours, and I did this a lot. Like MMQC says, leave music on so you know the monitor is working, and go have a nice tea with your neighbours.

Perception of risk is a funny thing. I enjoy the fact that I have a close relationship with my neighbours. I feel that this makes our little area in the building an over-all safer place. Isolate yourself at home, for "the good of the baby", and slowly, without even noticing, that happy vibe erodes, leaving everyone less safe in the long run.

13lucky · 10/01/2011 12:29

Yes agree with Greeninkmama that I would be concerned about a fire which you can't hear on a monitor. Also the possibility of a burglar. So no, I personally wouldn't do this. Maybe you could take your ds with you next time and put to bed in a travel cot.

wukter · 10/01/2011 12:32

I would. I'd hear the smoke alarm on the monitor. I'd nip back in regularly also.

docket · 10/01/2011 12:37

I wouldn't. I'm sure the risk is tiny but I wouldn't be able to relax, it would feel wrong (to me).

Pinner35 · 10/01/2011 12:38

I wouldn't do it either......

ariane5 · 10/01/2011 12:39

i wouldnt do it, just in case, could he not sleep in a buggy at your friends house then its easy to just take him home and pop him back in his cot

cookieraymond · 10/01/2011 12:57

I would, yes. Its the equivalent of them being the other side of a wall, and the monitor works.
lovely

PipIsOutNow · 10/01/2011 14:24

i wouldnt either and i took have a 6 month old ds...just wouldnt be able to relax and enjoy myself and wouldnt forgive myself if anything happened, but thats just me and maybe i have pfb syndrome

TickettyBoo · 10/01/2011 16:49

I wouldn't relax and so it would spoil the evening for me - we've been out for tea lots of times with lo and we just take her with us and if she gets tired she naps in her pram or on a blanket till we go home - I'd rather that than worry about something happening even if the friends were so near x

NoWayNoHow · 10/01/2011 17:41

Weird, we had the same dilemma! My head tells me, logically, that this is no different to being in your own front room in terms of distance, etc, but my heart just couldn't quite reconcile it, so we didn't do it (although this may also have had something to do with the neighbours themselves being a bit when we mentioned it as an idea! In the end, we didn't do it, but I still can't fault with the logic of it, and practically it should be a safe and fine solution.

It's a weird one!

Ragwort · 10/01/2011 17:43

I would (and have done - even without a monitor) - just didn't tell anyone .

Bucharest · 10/01/2011 17:44

No.

Burglars can be very tippytoed and light-footed.

rosie1979 · 10/01/2011 19:24

I wouldn't, because of fire and I also know I couldn't have a properly fun night as I wouldn't relax.
Could you take ds in a travel cot with you? Thats what I used to do when my ds was a baby and transportable - or even asleep in his pram?

BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2011 19:28

This reply has been deleted

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flowery · 10/01/2011 19:32

I wouldn't because I wouldn't relax.

With DS1 I occasionally popped next door to let the dog out for a few minutes, and I was fine with that during the day.

But for an evening, no I wouldn't. I know it's unlikely but what if a burglar was watching the house and saw us both go next door? I would just worry so it would be pointless.

BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2011 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yousankmybattleship · 10/01/2011 19:33

I definitely wouldn't. Ok, so everything would probably be alright, but is a night out really worth the risk?

nzshar · 10/01/2011 20:15

Most definetly would do this. If I was lucky enough to have a big house that would be no further than what you were and as long as the monitor worked whats the prob. So many helicopter parents :)

Roo83 · 10/01/2011 20:22

I wouldn't...but then I'm v.paranoid about my kids getting snatched. I know in reality it's so unlikely to happen but I just couldn't take the risk

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