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Original poster

Attachment parenting - if you don't do it...?

94 replies

hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 21:42

Why do people describe themselves as practising attachment parenting? Are people who don't follow all of the basic premises of it detached parents? Or can you pick and choose?

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emkana · 23/09/2005 21:59

I would say so , wwb.

emkana · 23/09/2005 22:01

Yeah, I'm going through one of my quiet MN phases at the moment, just things being very busy with dd1 starting school, my parents being over to visit etc.

How are things with your ds2 now?

oops · 23/09/2005 22:02

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dropinthe · 23/09/2005 22:03

ds2 FINALLY off the boob! Hurray! Strongest will in the world but a cutey through and through!

tarantula · 23/09/2005 22:04

right best go get the velcro then looks like AP is a spider thing cos thats kinds my look on life too (till of course the spiderlings balloon off to a better web site)

Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:04

Oops, you'd be surprised

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Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:04

Aw, Tarantula, had a lovely image of Charlotte's Web then with the little spiders floating away on the wind!

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SleepySuzy · 23/09/2005 22:05

If that's what my way of doing it is labelled, then it's very hard to switch from AP to controlled crying.

emkana · 23/09/2005 22:08

oops, do you really think that there are no parents who leave their children to cry? You'd be amazed... I posted on here the other day about someone I know who puts their baby into the room furthest away in her house in order not to hear the crying...

I personally don't agree with controlled crying either, but don't want to get into an argument about that because I know that many many people feel that it has been very beneficial for themselves and their babies.

One of the things about AP for me is that it is contrary to the current "trend" to insist on babies/children becoming "independent" as early as possible. They "have to" learn to sleep by themselves, to fall asleep without any props and in particular without their parents being there, they have to be weaned from the breast etc. etc. For me AP is about keeping your baby very very close, and thereby giving you child the emotional strength to become independent when they are ready.

WigWamBam · 23/09/2005 22:08

I thought that doing what the baby needed was the mainstream way of parenting these days - until I came across Mumsnet and discovered so many people following Gina routines and so on.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:09

Emkana, I was thinking about your thread just yesterday - is your friend still doing that with her child? Makes my heart ache

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emkana · 23/09/2005 22:10

hunkermunker - I don't think she does now, but only because her baby sleeps through the night in his own bed upstairs now, so no "need" to move him. Poor little mite...

oops · 23/09/2005 22:11

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Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:11

I hope she doesn't - doesn't bear thinking about if there was a fire Poor little boy

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emkana · 23/09/2005 22:12

dropinthe - how old was he when he stopped?
I wonder what will happen now with dd2 - I'm going away for a weekend on my own (yeah!) in two weeks, wonder if she'll still want to feed when I return. Probably, seeing how much she still seems to love it.

dropinthe · 23/09/2005 22:13

"Put up,put down"-he/she is not an effing parcel you know!

How about-"Cuddle when crying-bring close to you body-let him/her sleep next to you if scared/poorly/etc etc becuase they will be a bloody long time away from you VERY soon!

Then you will be moaning that they never cuddle you anymore!

Wonder why??

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:13

Oops, don't worry, I'm not quite that optimistic Yes, am due in January, when DS will be 21mo - am hoping this one likes being worn in a sling

And DS has been left to cry - just not as a matter of course, or as a way of imposing my will on his when he's too little to understand why.

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emkana · 23/09/2005 22:13

oops - when my dd2 was tiny I carried her in a sling constantly, in order to minimize crying as much as possible when I was with them on my own. And yes, I even went to the toilet with dd2 in the sling .

emkana · 23/09/2005 22:14

Sorry, keep forgetting that some babies don't like slings.

dropinthe, very right you are!

emkana · 23/09/2005 22:15

And my name is Yoda...

Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:15

PMSL Emyoda!

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dropinthe · 23/09/2005 22:16

He was just over 18 months-very angry at first but only took a week then we went to Turkey and he had new smells/sounds to concentrate on!

Now just loves my blubber belly-he dies and goes to heaven if he can lift my T shirt up and snuggle into the folds!

Only person in my life who loves my belly!

Original poster
hunkermunker · 23/09/2005 22:16

DIT, DS does that to mine too - wants to "see the baby" and "pat the baby" atm

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dropinthe · 23/09/2005 22:17

Least you've got a bloody excuse for being fat!!

oops · 23/09/2005 22:19

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