9 year old who steals from cupboard

[Dexterrocks]

Our 9 year old dd continually steals "treats" from the kitchen cupboards in the morning before we get up.
Both my children are very early risers (5am is normal) and are therefore allowed to help themselves to cereal when they get up. However our dd helps herself to far more: sweets, biscuits, partially eaten bags of crips, glace cherries, syrup etc.
We have made it clear that we know what she has done and told her off for it but she continues to do it.
We have deprived her of treats when our ds is getting them because she has helped herself to them before breakfast.
She is well fed and, as I say is not expected to go hungry until we get up.
Any suggestions of ways to stop her doing this?
We have tried hiding all the treats in our bedroom and that is when she started helping herself to baking supplies.

The thing is, ds will make a healthy breakfast, he'll have a bowl of cereal, then he'll start on the other things and he'll eat those till he's blue in the face/they're gone.

Do I stop buying fruit? Do I have nothing in the house but food that needs cooking in some way before it's eaten?

That's not a practical way to live when you are a family of 5.

I would lock the kitchen door but there isn't one and there's no way of keeping him out.

I could get up with him everyday but I'd rather learn some strategies for solving the issue rather than just reacting to it.

I disagree BIWI - DS1 will happily make himself porridge (including "some for me"........I eat breakfast once in a blue moon and he knows that - so he scoffs my portion too) and then get other stuff afterwards.

With DS1 if there was nothing sweet in the house he's go for the ham in the fridge, the milk, the peppers, the bread - anything that could be eaten raw.

Living on day to day shopping is very expensive way to live and as RM says it's not really practical when you have a famlly to feed.

How about having ready to eat dried fruit regularly as part of breakfast? Perhaps if she gets up and has cereal then prunes or apricots that will satisfy the sweet cravings.

Why not just have lots of bread (still fairly cheap) and a few topping such as jam. Kids get hungry when they are growing, so having lots of cheap filling food is a good idea.

Or does she have a weight issue? If so you need to start thinking about this. You also don't need baking ingredients unless you are about to bake something. It may be inconvenient, but if your child is heading towards an eating disorder maybe you need to prioritize that.

I'm not saying she does have an eating disorder; its just I can only see it is either a problem or just growth hunger (my skinny teenagers can eat for England).

Well I defer to your obviously superior knowledge, RM!

Two things here:

• it is not normal or right for a 9 yeaer old to be getting up at 5am, and you need to review her sleeping patterns so that she gets up at the proper time for a child her age (between half an hour and an hour before she leaves for school)

• why are your cupboards full of "treats"?

Been thinking about this some more. You don't say OP how long this has been going on and that could perhaps be key.

If it's only a recent thing then I'd be more concerned about the eating disorders/problems at school etc.

If it's been going on (like my DS1) from the day he was old enough to be able to get out of bed and get down stairs on his own then I'd be seeing it as less concerning.

Either way I suspect the treats/baking goods thing may be a bit of a red herring, as in my experience (I don't bake so don't have baking stuff in if you take out all the "treats" if they're sneaking food out of the cupboards/fridge then they'll just find something else - ham, cheese, anything that's edible without needing to be cooked.

I agree with whoever said she might need more protein; you say she's 'well fed' and I'm sure she is, but it might be worth thinking about the content of her meals.

Eg if she's having, say, pasta with sauce but not much in the way of ham, chicken or cheese with it, the white carbs will cause a spike in her blood sugar levels followed by a corresponding drop, which is when the cravings set in.

And supper before bed might help as well - toast or biscuits with cheese, rice cake, something light but sustaining.

You might find she actually sleeps longer as a result.

And, fwiw, I buy crisps or sweets when I decide it would be nice to treat the kids and DH to them - they're not on my shopping list ever, and I wouldn't stock up on them as a matter of course. We do always have biscuits, though.

Is she eating through the evening too?

Baroqin, they might find something else, but at least the something else would be nourishing. And they may well get bored with it when there isn't a yummy sweet sensation involved.

Bonsoir - some kids are just early risers and there's sod all you can do about it.

My DS1 is an early riser, always has been. Just like some adults are early risers some kids are too. And all you can do is "train" them in what is/isn't allowed at the crack of dawn when the later risers are still in bed.

If there's some secret you'd like to share......

It's empty calories and a sugar high. Up the amount of protein in the evening & complex carbs.

Has she always got up a 5? Worth getting her bloods taken at the doctors to rule out any underlying causes - diabetes, thyroid etc.

Bonsoir, have you actually read the thread?

The 'treats' isuue was covered in the OP and again later on.

Also, saying she 'should' be getting up later is ridiculous. How do you force children to stay asleep longer than their natural waking up time? I'm guessing the OP doesn't actually want her dcs to get up at 5am and has likely spent the last 9 years trying to encourage them to rise at a more reasonable hour.

My dcs get up at 6am regardless of what time they go to bed. I can put them to bed at 10pm but they still get up at 6am and are then shattered all day. Several late nights in a row can yield a 7 or even 7:30 wake up at the end of them but the following day they're back to 6am.

You may be lucky enough that your dcs get up an hour and a half before they get to school and I would give my right arm to be in your position. However, all children are different and don't do what they 'should' do.

I have a similar problem. My 10 year old steals food such as sugar and butter, mixes them up, eats it then hides the cup. She also steals biscuits, her sister's sweets any sort of sweet food really.

I keep very little sweet food in the house. We have no choc advent calenders as she eats hers and her sisters in a few days. (I have found one for the cat so hopefully she will not eat that).

She does also have an ongoing weight problem.

I have spoken with the school nurse and she has been referred to the CAMHS service. We have our first appointment next week.

i used to do this. the answer is to have fewer nice things in the cupboards - no need to always have biccits and sweets.

though i would still nick raisins.

i did this because i like sweet food.

i still raid cupboards to a lesser extent.

sometimes, i really wonder why people look for deep psychological ishoos when you only need the obvious to explain a childs behaviour.

It is very easy to get DCs to sleep later in the morning - give them their supper later at night.

too much of anything can be bad for you, and again - for practical reasons it's still not great to have a child taking food left right and centre without you knowing - unless you have money to burn.

Oh and fwiw - I don't buy "treats" - it's all snacks in this house, just some is healthy and some isn't - everything in moderation and all that. I can hardly enjoy a calorie laden, 0 "good for you" snacks myself and tell the DS's it's wrong.

And it works out cheaper to buy it in with the weekly shop than to pop into the shop to buy my chocolate/crisps fix for the day.

My DS's already eat dinner 1 1/2hr before bed - and have supper. DS1 still rises at silly o'clock (I'm a late riser myself), DS2 would still sleep until lunchtime if I let him, and DS3 fits nicely in the middle.

WhatsWrong, that's a very interesting point about the protein. Ds isn't a big meat/protein eater. We encourage him to eat a healthy amount but I will try more to see if it makes a difference.

I honestly don't know whether he's eating because he's hungry (he's very, very tall for his age - wears age 9-10 clothes at 6.11yrs) or whether it's more of a boredom/habit issue which my eating is.

We don't have much in the house in terms of 'treats' - no sweets or biscuits and only very rarely do we have crisps because I have no self control but things like the Nature Valley crunch bars he will eat an entire box of 6 if it's there.

What sort of snacks do you allow your children between meals, if you don't have 'treats'? I try to encourage fruit or rice cakes, etc but he does need to eat regularly.

Sorry OP, not meaing to hijack, this is just very relevant to me at the moment.

Why would you let your DCs have snacks between meals?

Oh of course, WHY didn't I think of that, Bonsoir? Silly me. A later tea will magically make them sleep til 7am every day

Honestly what a ridiculous attitude. We have tea about 6pm anyway as that's when dh gets in and we eat together then they go to bed at 7pm as they need to in order to get enough sleep. As I explained earlier, a later bedtime makes no difference to what time they get up.

Perhaps I should give them their dinner in bed?

I have to put baking stuff like chocolate chips in the cellar and lock the door - my kids are dreadful thieves

Rose - all those things mentioned above (that we do't really need to buy) I have in for snacks alongside the fruit and the bread for sandwiches and the like. I just try and avoid calling them treats. I've never much liked using food of any type as a reward so avoid the "treat" label as much as I can (although having said that me making apple pie and custard, or making home bread bread is considered a "treat" by the DS's but that's because it happens so rarely and I have to be in the right mood for it).

Strangely my biggest eater (DS2) has never taken any food without asking. He would sit and stare at his favourite food on the table in front of him and drool, but wouldn't touch it. (he just constantly asks for food instead).

X-posts, if you can't be less patronising and more helpful can I suggest you go somewhere else?

Your posts are pointless.

There is plenty of evidence to show that children need regular food intake and leaving long gaps between meals causes blood sugar to drop which is not good for anyone.

Small regular meals are a much healthier way of eating. Look it up.