9 year old who steals from cupboard

[Dexterrocks]

Our 9 year old dd continually steals "treats" from the kitchen cupboards in the morning before we get up.
Both my children are very early risers (5am is normal) and are therefore allowed to help themselves to cereal when they get up. However our dd helps herself to far more: sweets, biscuits, partially eaten bags of crips, glace cherries, syrup etc.
We have made it clear that we know what she has done and told her off for it but she continues to do it.
We have deprived her of treats when our ds is getting them because she has helped herself to them before breakfast.
She is well fed and, as I say is not expected to go hungry until we get up.
Any suggestions of ways to stop her doing this?
We have tried hiding all the treats in our bedroom and that is when she started helping herself to baking supplies.

[Readyisknitting]

I'm bumping this thread having discovered ds has stolen yet another chocolate bar (which I'd stupidly left by my bed having not fancied it). He'll always own up (having discovered the consequences for lying) but I cannot fathom this stealing. I ask him why and am met with a shrug. I used to do it, exactly as people above said, and ended up with usual teenage diet issues, plus really rotten teeth.

Ds is 7, and began to do this when we fled xh, and he is still doing it. He has a good diet put in front of him, but is so bloody picky, and I refuse to cook different food for him, so tonight was cottage pie and he didn't touch it. I do get that food is something he can control, esp given the emotional crap he still gets from xh, but he cannot hide behind that. I like the snack box idea, but that becomes a lot harder to do when you factor in dbs who is here half a week, and dd's 1&2. So ideas, please. I cannot lock everything- I've had packs of bay leaves disappear at his hands fgs.

[ChippingIn]

I'm glad you feel reassured that although it's bloody annoying, it's fairly normal!

[Dexterrocks]

Thank you everyone - it is very comforting to know that her behaviour is not that unusual.
Her weight is fine just now but she is the sort of build where it could easily tip in the wrong direction so I do keep an eye.
There is definitely a stirring of hormones going on and a hint of some development. I too get unbearable cravings at certain points in my cycle so that makes a lot of sense.
I also think there will be a little bit of "because I can" rebellion going on. It may also be a protest that she is up at 5am and I am not. Her brother and the dog are up with her and no matter what she starts helping herself to I am not starting my day at 5am!
I really appreciate the feeling that nothing too scary is going on and that she is just being a kid.
Thanks again everyone!

[ChippingIn]

Dex - most of us did it as kids :) We did all the normal nicking biscuits, cooking chocolate, raisins etc and it had nothing to do with not being allowed treats - we weren't short of those as kids. It's just a 'because I can' type of thing - even though you know you will be in trouble if you get caught (and I think that's a big part of the fun - the daring - the control!!) My Mum could never fathom why she never seemed to have any jelly crystals or (uncooked) spagetti - it was the thing to suck on them & chew them at school who knows! but I still can't resist to this day eating it like that if I am cooking some!

I guess the difference is that we didn't have access to it daily as Mum was up before us and we were in bed before her - so it was if she was hanging out washing etc

The other thing is her age and hormones flying around - I don't know if you get pre-period cravings? I do now and I tell you it's bloody awful if you can't get what your body is screaming for!

Is her weight an issue?

If not - maybe do 'the box' and explain to her that you don't want her helping herself to the other stuff as you need it for meals/baking etc

[ragged]

I'm in the camp of thinking it's pretty normal behaviour, too.

We have a lock on the treats cupboard, have had for at least a year. First it was DD (then about 7?). I gave her a stern talking to which seemed to have some effect... but her 4-5yo brother saw the possibilities and started to get in there when I wasn't looking (he has very poor impulse control). I still refer to DD's heyday as "The Great Sweets Robber" (she grins at the title). She is very happy at school, popular, does loads of activities, just a bit greedy too!

The sugar bowl is now in there, too, since we realised that DS was licking the spoon on a regular basis (blech).

I sometimes I worry that I'm a bit of a Control freak bout sweets + biscuits, but I have had lots of tooth decay and I just don't want DC to suffer the same. They get daily biscuits and sweets, just not unlimited supplies!

Lock will be useful in the long run. I've read enough threads on MN about needing to lock up your biscuits when teens are in the house, anyway (and I will have 3 teen boys eventually!).

[onceamai]

I wouldn't read too much into it. She wakes up - she's hungry - and possibly a bit lonely and cold at 5am. TBH I would much prefer any of the stuff you describe than cereal - can't stand the stuff (and mine can't resist glace cherries if they are in the fridge - or raisins). Haven't read the whole thread but no-one seems to have asked whether your daugher likes cereal and (what I can't stand) cold milk.

Could you explore some alternatives for breakfast - crumpets which she could toast and have with jam, crackers and cream cheese, fruit buns, etc. Also, is she very hungry in the morning - could a hot chocolate at bedtime help?

I do a big weekly shop. Routine items are pack of 6 crisp packets, bottle of fanta, yoghurt covered fruit flakes, one packet stuff like penguins. When it's gone, it's gone and it's usually gone within 48 hours sometimes faster. Apart from that they have fruit and yoghurt to graze on. They're 11 and 15.

The other thing that you might be overlooking is her developed. DD started to develop a lot at this age and your dd might be craving sugar (extra calories) because of growth/hormone spurts.

[PavlovtheCat]

i used to steal the jelly from the cupboard, or little squares of it at a time, or the whole thing and hide the box/packaging. I stole biscuits, crisps, chocolate bars, two at a time. I had an Enormous apetite and found sweets filled my appetite quickly, and used to have 6 slices of bread and jam in one sitting, drove my mum nuts.

Could she be hungry? and sugar satisfies her immediate craving?

[Dexterrocks]

Kitkey - you have made me laugh - it was the soda stream bottles we filled with lethal mixtures from the drinks cabinet at 16!

[kitkey]

I remember being like this at about 10 or 11 - hiding food in my room, stealing it from the kitchen for later. My mum used to leave me and my brother at home for an hour at about 14 while she went out and we used to binge on the soda stream, make massive milkshakes with ice cream and milk, eat all the baking stuff, make cheese on toast. I remember being constantly starving even though my mum was a real feeder and cooked massive hearty meals - I think it is a growing craving. Even after a massive lunch I used to sit in class and wonder what my Mum was doing for dinner. At 16 I progressed onto stealing the sherry and whisky in an empty squash bottle for parties!!

[Dexterrocks]

Good point Mackerel - we just had a friend's daughter for breakfast and she was not impressed (at all) with our cereal selection (Wheatabix, Shredded Wheat, porridge or Rice Crispies). In my defence on this morning's selection, we have been snowed in since Wednesday so we are beginning to scrape the back of the cupboards!

[MackerelOfFact]

I used to do this. Thing is, I'd never take anything I knew I'd be allowed - otherwise I'd just have asked. I did the butter and sugar mixture in a cup thing, took cake decorations, cooking chocolate, cheese (often sliced on a plate and melted down in the microwave), ham or salami dipped in mayonnaise - anything that would satisfy the frantic craving for something sweet/salty/creamy.

The things I would have been allowed - which included things like digestive biscuits, KitKats, Mini Cheddars, fruit, veg - laid untouched. I wanted things that were forbidden, that were exciting and new.

I've always had quite a low food boredom tolerance and get bored of certain tastes easily - have you tried getting some new things in for breakfast? Maybe crumpets, croissants, pancakes or just a different cereal or toast topping might keep her interest better than the current breakfast choices?

[Onetoomanycornettos]

I used to do this, my own theory is that children who aren't used to regulating their own intake go a bit crazy when confronted with treats/sweets and they also taste extra nice. My brother was even worse as he would take sugar, then lie about it with sugar all round his mouth.

I would be inclined not to make too much of it, just say, don't take anything in this cupboard as I'm saving it for cooking and to share on Sat, and leave it at that. Unless she's consuming vast quantities, the odd extra sugar lump or biscuit won't hurt. I wouldn't start locking it, or removing it completely, making it more desirable, just explain that's not a proper breakfast and help them to make a better one themselves.

As for not describing things as 'treats', I don't really see the point, as no child on this earth sneaks around at 5am trying to steal broccoli, so why pretend? Cakes and sweets are yummy treats, but not breakfast, end of.

[PrematureEjoculation]

i used to raid jam sandwiches....

and cheese. my brother used to drink vinegar and eat pickle - those i thought were odd things to steal...

[Dexterrocks]

Mine also get snacks between meals - my youngest especially is incapable of eating enough to sustain him until the next meal. He needs to eat about every 2 hours or he will be miserable and then we are all miserable. He is a skinny wee thing so I don't think it is doing any harm. He is the child that had to be weighed regularly even when he was 3 because he was so skinny. He had to be fed high calorie foods constantly to keep his weight just at a level the health visitor found acceptable. These high calorie foods were also insisted upon by the health visitor and the hospital (before someone jumps on me for it).

[Dexterrocks]

Mistletoe - thanks for making me feel it is not just me!

[MistletoeAndWhineWithMe]

Oh dear OP I posted this question a couple of years ago and got such a flaming my eyebrows still haven't grown back.
I agree it is annoying especially when you find your child balancing on a chair to get to the christmas chocolates or you go to make a packed lunch and half the stuff is missing. DD lives in a house where fruit is available all the time and she has 3 good meals a day with snacks but still continues to take food.

[Dexterrocks]

It's ok - she isn't eating the cereal, bread or jam anyway - she is scouring the cupboard for "treats".
I am taking you seriously though and definitely looking into her protein consumption.

[BecauseImWorthIt]

I will make one more comment - consider how much carbohydrate they are eating. Cereal, bread and jam will all cause a spike in insulin production, blood sugar will rise really quickly and then crash equally quickly.

Protein, as suggested earlier, is much better for keeping blood sugar levels even.

[daytoday]

When I was little we used to pour icing sugar and real sugar into bowls and eat it for breakfast, before my folks got up.

Eventually my mum got rid of the baking sugars and bought scotch pancakes and sweet waffles and taught us how to use the toaster. We much preferred that. I think we just didn't fancy cereal or bread anymore .

When I look back now, as a middle aged woman, its one of my favourite childhood memories, lying on the floor with my brothers sticking out tongues in our sugar bowls and watching tv.

[Dexterrocks]

Both my dcs have always been early risers. I have spoken to the doctor and health visitor about it at length. They have been really supportive and we have tried everything they have suggested to try to get them to sleep later but with no success. Even the health professionals are now saying it is just how they are and they will grow out of it.
I will look into the protein suggestion as we are vegetarians so it is possible they need more lentils and beans to balance their carb intake.
As for the treats in the cupboard, they are generally gifts we have been given or left over halloween treats etc. I do not stock up on treats at the supermarket.
As for the shopping, I live in a rural area so it is not remotely realistic to shop every day. We have to do a big weekly shop and then top up from the local shop.
We have a treat day (Tuesdays) and they do get other treats throughout the week, depending on what is going on.
They also get a decent snack after school before their after school activities and supper if there is a long time between tea and bedtime (instigated by the health visitor).
I am really comforted by the news that lots of people have done this as children. I know that if the treats weren't there it would be other stuff. Cereal, bread and jam are freely available so it is not hunger itself that is the problem.

[Marjoriew]

Lock the treats away where she can't have access to them, and tell her that you decide when she has treats.
Tell her they taste much nicer when they are given as a treat:)
Of course, it depends on the house rules - some parents don't mind their children helping themselves to anything they want, when they want, but if you have explained to her that she can't take the treats from the cupboard, then at 9, she is old enough to understand that it's out of bounds.

[RoseMortmain]

Exactly, Baroque, mine are the same - low blood sugar = very grumpy children.

Go to go out but hoping for good advice for Dexter and I when I get back.