Do you ever find yourself feeling upset about the way other people treat their children?

[Socci]

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I get upset if I see really blatant verbal and physical abuse-you don't know,she might have had it up to her eyeballs with her daughter and it could have just been a one off.I try NOT to judge but yes,I do get very upset if I can spot blatant abuse of any kind.

I get upset if I see really blatant verbal and physical abuse-you don't know,she might have had it up to her eyeballs with her daughter and it could have just been a one off.I try NOT to judge but yes,I do get very upset if I can spot blatant abuse of any kind.

You don't know what else has been going on for that mum though.

Most of the time I would be saying No and ignoring her, but if it had been a day like today (pregnancy hormones all over the place, and lack of sleep), then I could easily have been too hard on DD.

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Absolutely! It's heartbreaking. Kids are so defenseless. They're literally trapped in their parents' home.

It's actually the more 'casual' sort of yelling and swearing that gets me. I think (within reason, of course) anyone is capable of losing it now and then. But it's the 'C'mere you little fucker, get into the fucking pushchair' and the casual swipes to the head that make me really sad - it's just everyday behaviour for these parents and god knows what it does to the kids. I see stuff like this every time I'm out shopping in my local town and I find it so depressing and distressing.

DH used to li8ve ina not so nice area, and hated the way that people would speakto their kids in the local supermarket. He used to cringe as mums called their 3 year olds "f bitches" and the like.
Sad isn't it?

i saw a woman ram her toddler with her pushchair once, that is the only time i have involuntarily gasped out loud with shock. she looked frazzled and the little girl had clearly been whinging for a while, but she was still way ott

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I feel sad when I see kids who are obviously habitually ignored - eg when you are in a cafe and see a mother and child, and she does not look at/answer him at all for over 20 minutes, even though the child is well behaved etc. And though I tell myself that it could be a one-off, a lot of the time you can tell that it's habitual behaviour, as snafu said.

I have also seen kids getting walloped for accidently knocking things over/tripping up and bumping into the parent etc - the assumption that the child hit them on purpose is quite sad to see, like giving a dog a bad name.

Iused to be friends with a woman that openly said she didn't love her son. When I was friends with her I tried to understand how she could feel like that asnd it was hard.She lost a baby when she was 7 and 1/2 months pregnant, it was a girl and she admits that she only got pg again to try to replace that little girl. when she found out it was a boy she wanted an abortion and when she had him she didn't bond. now 6 years on she will shout at him " noone likes you. theres somerthing wrong with you, i wish you would just f£$% off" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now that is the worst thing I've ever witnessed a mum doing to their child. I am no longer friends with her but it has nothing to do with this issue.oh and she is seeing a counseller but well he's 6...i think the damage has been done

At 18mo they're too young to be deliberately hurtful, how awful socci. Dp nearly said something to someone who was swearing and screaming at her child in Asda yesterday (there's lot of that in our local Asda, sadly) but decided not to. We'd have only got abuse for it anyway. I agree, it's very sad.

the other week, dd1 who is 5 and dd2 who is 3, really pushed it in somerfield. i was trying to get things sorted, dd2 got out of the buggy, and with dd1 proceeded to wreak havoc round the shop. i grabbed their hands and made them hold the buggy round the shop. at the kiosk they got worse, and as i was packing i just couldnt deal with them. then they proceeded to hit me. i tild them not to do it, and put dd2 back in the buggy. then dd1 hit me round the head several times. i lost it. i shouted at her, and grabbed her hand and made her hold onto the buggy. she wasd laughing the whole time. when i say i shouted it was loud. i could tell other people where looking at me and the girls, but by that point i had had enough. i really wanted to just leave her in the shop and walk out as she had really wound me up. fortunatly on the walk home she had calmed down and so had i.

At ds1's nursery concert a couple of years back, as we were coming out there was a mother getting her son's coat on to leave - he must have been no more than 2 and she was really cross with him saying 'we've come all this way to see you and you didn't even perform, blah, blah' - like my ds he was probably overwhelmed by the audience and didn't do his part and she was having a right go. In fact, JoolsToo said to her 'ahh, they're only little aren't they' and she said 'well he's just a wimp'

That made me sad.

There are some very sad stories on here. Totally astounded by Trinity's post - how horrifying.

My three push me to the limit sometimes and shopping is a flashpoint it's true, but goodness me some of the tales here are terrible.

Just to add mine - I saw a little boy (yes, the dreaded shopping again) out with his mum and he was around 4/5 yrs. I understand totally that he must've wound her up no end - I've had it too and been beside myself trying to get things done etc. But she pulled his pants and shorts down in the street and smacked him. He was old enough to know he was being humiliated in public and it was awful(I think there was another thread about this a while back).

Punishment is one thing but being spiteful and humiliating is not necessary. Tbh I just try and avoid too much in the way of shopping with my children, although I know others can't always do that.

misdee, I almost certainly wouldn't have judged you for that, we ALL lose it sometimes. I have had various shaming losing it times. It's the habitual stuff that Snafu mentions, when you can tell it's just the usual way someone speaks to their children, that's so cruel and upsetting to see.

TrinityRocks That is jsut too terrible for words

The worst thing I have seen is a Mum kick her child in the face as it was sat in its buggy because it was crying while she tried on clothes. This was when I was a shop assistant many moons ago and whilst I knew it was wrong I did not know what to do about it. I often wonder what that child experienced at home behind closed doors

only if i know them.

if i dont know them i try not to judge them and stop myself if i catch miself doing it. As i have no idea of the circumstances

not the worst thing I have ever seen, but all the more upsetting because I knew her.

She told he son (5) he was in speech therapy because he was thick, and until he learned to speak properly, she was giving all his puddings to his brother.....

....the worst of it was, the child wouldn't speak because every time he tried to tell her something, she screamed at him to shut up! He was very capable of speech when not nervous.

I felt sad when my then 7 year old son became friends with a neighbour's boy, 8 years old, who had never been taken to our local playgrounds and paddling pool by anyone, didn't know they existed, even. 10 - 20 minutes walk away. Seemed to spend all his outdoor time playing on the street.

I cant even read these back because any thing to do with children distresses me to such an extent that i cant sleep and cant stop thinking about it for weeks some times.
I just simply cannot cope with it and my mental well bieng is seriously compromised.
Bury my head in the sand im afraid.

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I work with children and yes I find some behaviour of parents very difficult and its very very difficult not to judge. However it is not my place to.

As a childminder when a parent visited me to interview me to care for their child I would really look to see if i could get along with the parents and that meant how they brought up their children. I did this only because a few bad experiences showed me this was vital. I had one child who had very violent temper tamtrums and attacked me and my home reguarly and when I spoke to Dad and Mum about it they would laugh ( in front of the child) as if it were amusing. I didn't find it so particuarly one day after school he tried to though himself under a car. Notice was given shortly after..

The thing is would any one approach a parent who is abusing their child in full view, either verbally or physically.

When is it acceptable to intervene???

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