human rights?

[tandoori]

by law in the uk,we are not required to have an health visitor.we have had very persistent health visitors who tell us how to live our lives.they insist on visiting even though we don't want them to,and they ask questions which we find are irrelavant.in my opinion this is a breach of the human rights act article 8. it states : Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence. what are your views on this? can anyone experienced in human rights/law help me with this please? i have been reported to social services because i don't wish to be seen by a hv anymore.social services have visited us before and closed the case stating we are not a threat to our child and our child is not defined as 'in need'.thank you in advance for your replies

No advice because I don't live in the UK, but, you do sound very defensive.
Why don't you want a health visitor? surely they can't be all bad.
In waht way are they telling you how to live your lives?

What happened to make you so decided to never see a HV again? I admit mine were all a bit useless and I took most advice with a pinch of salt but still not bad enough to totally refuse seeing one.

Instead of starting a human right campaign about it, could you not tell HV that you prefer to see your GP than her when you have worries about your child?

I do admit not to understand persistence from HV either, I only ever saw mine (dd4's) twice at drop in sessions at the clinic, they never invited themselves to mine. One came ay home, on my invitation for DS3 as I was struggling when starting solids.

i don't want to see one because they have lied to social services.i have said that i would see a gp but i was told that that isn't good enough. is it a breach of human rights?

Maybe the health visitor is ensuring your child has basic human rights too.

Lots of Mn'ers refuse to see a hv. I have seen this many times on threads. I can understand OP's view.

lots of who? my child has more than basic human rights,the social services have been before and said that we are NOT a threat and that we ARE capable of meeting our child's needs.

The fact that you have once been under social services once before is an understandable reason that the hv wants to keep an eye on you. You may not like it, but your health visitor has a duty to your children.

Health visitors are not the baby police. They are there to help your family. Her principle job is to keep you and your family well.

My health visitor got concerned because I only went to baby clinic twice in my dd first year. She wanted to check I was OK as I have history of bad depression. If I have a third child I will go to clinic a bit more often just to prove to the health visiting service that I am alive and well.

Ask her what her concerns are and how you can address them. Be sweet and charming.(Through gritted teeth) Invite her in, make her a cup of tea. Encourage her to talk about herself and family. Most health visitors love talking about themselves. Tell your health visitor how you want her to support you.

Do you mind an obsure stranger asking what the lie is. Then mumsnetter can suggest ways to reassure your hv that its just a misunderstanding.

For example I had a very panicy hv visiting me because I told a different hv that my 11 month old dd was convinced that exclusive breastfeeding was the way forward. The daft health visitor at the clinic thought that I was deliberately not giving my dd solids.

I explained to my named health visitor that my dd and I had different opinons and I was having problems getting my dd to eat. I also made the comment that my eight year old thinks an exclusive chocolate diet is the way forward, but his mummy disagrees with that as well.

Guesome as it sounds go to baby clinic occassionally if you have a baby under one.

You are within your rights to change health visitor if there is a personality clash.

Health visitors are so busy they do not have the time to make pointless visits. If you are defensive and uncooperative then you will have health visitors and social workers bugging you for the rest of your life.

well the lie was that we can't meet our child's needs,which is why they got involved in the first place, but we obviously can and she knows that.my child isn't under one and has had all the relevant checks.

They obviously still have some concerns.

Tandoori, you have posted on many different threads and I am a bit worried about you.

You have to understand that just like any other social services in this country, HV have a very important job to do and have to follow some level of protocols. If their is something they are concerned about, they have to report it, if they don't it's negligence.

I will tell you what happened to us. When my son was 17 months old he fell off a bed and cried for some time, but as he didn't hit his head we weren't very concered. He stopped crying and carried on as normal.

Two days later, we noticed that he wasn't using his right hand to eat. There was no swelling or redness, he just stopped using his hand.

We took him to A&E and they found that he had a fracture. They asked us lots of questions, and treated his fracture (he had a cast for 3 weeks). A few days after the hospital visit we received a call from our HV asking for a home visit. She came over to our house and asked lots of questions (I was 8 months pregnant with DS2 at the time so frankly, I had better things to do). But I answered everything and was very cooperative.

The worst thing is, that about 6 months ago, when DS was about 4, we were playing in the garden and he fell and hurt the same arm. We rushed him to hospital, and although his arm wasn't broken, he had hurt his wrist badly.

What happened the next day? HV on doorstep.

It's what they do, it's their job, they are there to protect our kids.

I would never accuse them of 'lying' about me. THey just don't know. What if I would have hurt my kid and waited two days before taking him to hospital? In reality, the thought really scares me and I think that it is much much better to cooperate, not say that they lie, but understand that they are there for a very good reason.

I am sorry tandoori but I think that you are in the wrong. You should cooperate, understand that they have a job to do, and that if you decide to refuse to see HV or social services they will become even more suscpicious.

If questions are raised regarding the meeting of basic human needs then those questions need to be answered, like it or not.

If the response is satisfatory then they will leave you alone.

I agree with BlueberryPancake

i have posted on on different threads as i wasn't getting much advice to start with,and i am new to this so i wasn't sure which thread to post in.they are lying because they can't actually explain why they THINK we can't parent,they just say that we cant,even though they have been proven wrong.they only say this when we don't go along with EVERYTHING they say.

What are their specific concerns/accusations Tandoori? If you explain it may help people to better understand the issues you are facing?

what advice are you actually looking for ?

you have obviously made your mind up, and appear to be unforthcoming with any more explanation of why you feel the way you do

so I am not surprised you didn't get any more pats on the back replies

what needs do they say are not being met?

Tandoori, there is absolutely no way we can help you if you will not tell us what the specific accusations were and in what way they were a misunderstanding. Let's face it, there are parents out there who do fail to meet their children's needs. Once any suspicions have been raised, HV and SS do have a duty to investigate that this is not the case. I know how hurtful these suspicions are: I've had it happen to me when it was totally unjustified. But I would never expect anyone- either a HV or a bunch of people on an internet forum to support me if I refuse to explain exactly why the suspicions had been raised.

hv hasn't gave us a specific reason.she raised the concern in the first place because she likes to boss us around and she didn't like it when we finally stopped letting her do it.

oh, bog off now

HV's don't exist in this world just to boss you around, you silly mare

Can you give an example of something that your health visitor wanted you to do that you disagreed with. Most health visitors I have met have had very open mind towards different parenting approaches.

For example I co sleep and I am still breastfeeding at 18 months. I disagree with controlled crying and I lent my health visitor my copy of "The no cry sleep solution".

My health visitor thinks I am eccentric, but she tells me that she doesn't care as my children are thriving.

Why don't you request a copy of your health visitor notes? You have a legal right under the data protection act.

Surely it would just be easier to ask for another HV? You seem to be making a terrible fuss for someone has nothing to hide. SS and the HV will be thinking the same too.

Because the HVs are there to ensure that the baby's rights are upheld and it is able to thrive(baby can't talk for itself). There is nothing big brother about that.

tandoori, I do appreciate where you're coming from to some extent. I really don't like my HV, she is utterly rubbish. Also DH and I both work fulltime which makes it is very difficult for us to see her or get to the clinics. Unfortunately this in turn makes her more suspicious about our motives for not seeing her and makes her check up on us even more. It's infuriating. I found the only thing to do was take a morning off work and let her see me and DD together having a wonderful time and be as friendly as I could possibly be for the whole visit. It was an enormous waste of time from my POV but at least it has got her off my back. I am 7mo pg with DC2 so I know I'll be seeing her even more next year and just need to keep her onside I guess.

You come across quite aggressively in your posts - I can understand you are feeling attacked if you have been refered to SS but I think we need more details of what has gone on before anyone here can advise. HVs don't just plague a family for no reason - there are plenty of families out there where there are genuine causes for concern so presumably your HV saw something or had some concerns which she thought should be taken further.

And it's not a 'human rights' issue btw, it really isn't, and saying so kind of belittles the real human rights issues people face