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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it ok for DH to take a bath with DD age 3?

54 replies

whatdoesntkillu · 25/10/2010 03:06

Just got into a discussion with some parents at DDs preschool about bath time. They think dads shouldn't bath daughters. In our family, not only does DH bath DD but will also take her in the shower with him.

Up to now I've never had a problem with this. What does anyone out there think? BTW I didn't mention the bathing together thing to other parents.

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AreYouAZombieNoImArfasleep · 25/10/2010 17:21

Parents being weird IMO, I bath DS, don't bath or shower with him though, since he started to become a bit too interested in our different 'bits' But otherwise no prob at all.

AreYouAZombieNoImArfasleep · 25/10/2010 17:22

My DS is 5 BTW, was fine with it up until about this age

MrsSnaplegs · 25/10/2010 17:32

If my DH didn't bath my DD she would only get one at the weekends when I am home from work - what else should he do? She still gets in bath with me although this will stop after new baby is here as I will find it easier to bend down by bath again! As a loving father no-one shoul;d be made to feel "wrong" about doing something such as this which is natural for a parent to do for their child.

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MrsSnaplegs · 25/10/2010 17:34

Oh and only reason she doesn't go in with him is they are both so tall they wouldn't fit and he likes his bath water nuclear She is 5 BTW

elsiepiddock · 25/10/2010 17:38

This is bonkers. Those parents are saying that all dads of daughters are potential paedophiles?

Madness

Littlefish · 25/10/2010 17:39

AreYouAZombie - are you saying that you won't bathe with your ds past the age of 5?

Indith · 25/10/2010 17:40

My dcs adore having a bath with dh and last time ds went to stay with my parents on his own he insisted on getting in the bath with my mum. I really don't see a problem with any mix of genders until children are a fair bit older.

Spero · 25/10/2010 17:44

Very, very sad.

Even more sadly, I don't think it is a very uncommon attitude - a friend told me that one of her friend's husbands showers AT ALL TIMES in his boxers, just in case one of their young daughters ever sees he has a penis. I think their children are around 6 and 5.

I have also had clients criticised for walking around naked at home - not spending hours in the buff, but just walking from bathroom to bedroom for eg.

I do worry how the children of parents with such attitudes will grow up. What will these girls think when they first see a penis? If they ever do that is, presumably their parents will tell them to have sex through a hole in a sheet as I understand was the practice amongst the early Puritans in America.

ThatDamnDog · 25/10/2010 17:50

How bizarre. I bath with DS (3) and will continue to do so while he wants to, and DP will bath with DD until she doesn't want to. I find it weird enough that they don't trust the fathers of their children, but even weirder that they presumable don't apply this odd viewpoint to their own dealings with their sons. Very strange.

LilRedWG · 25/10/2010 17:53

DD (4) loves nothing more than getting in the bath with me or DH and long may she want to.

Clary · 25/10/2010 17:55

How very odd. No it's fine.

One of my best memories of my dad, sadly no longer here, is of him bathing me when I was well over 3 (otherwise I doubt if I would remember, apart from anything else!) I bet I was about 7yo.

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 25/10/2010 17:56

DH baths with dd all the time. They play bubble cooking and boats together. And long may it continue. She is 3.

usernamechanged345 · 25/10/2010 17:58

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ZombieChickensHaveNoMercy · 25/10/2010 17:58

I'd wonder why these women are married to men they suspect have paedophile tendencies. Or is it a case of 'has penis, must be a predator'?

RobynLou · 25/10/2010 18:02

DH and DD bathe together all the time, and she see's him naked plenty out of the bath too.

Me, my brother and my sister all had a bath with my dad at the same time until I was about 6 (I'm the eldest) I think it only stopped because we didn't fit anymore.
Great way to save water!

Very sad that anyone would see a problem with it, it'd never crossed my mind until now that someone would think that way.

katiepotatie · 25/10/2010 18:03

FFS! dd and ds bathe with dh and I, can't see any problem with it at all! Good grieve! Also what happens if they go swimming with dads???

PutTheKettleOn · 25/10/2010 18:52

Ridiculous - DD and DH have a bath togrther every sunday night, it's their little Sunday ritual! Though he does have to keep his todger tucked between his legs these days as the other week she poked it!

I think it's probably the dads using it as an excuse... my neighbour's DH won't change his younger DD's nappies or help older DD on the potty because it's 'not appropriate' - FFS!

3WiseMumsies · 25/10/2010 18:57

Goodness, your friends would probably die of shock at my DP washing my DD's hair in the bath. She is 8 and a half and he isn't her natural father!

DarciesmumandTTC2 · 25/10/2010 19:02

nothing wrong with that DH is DD stepfather and has been since she was 2, he does bath time with her and its no problem at all.

highndry · 25/10/2010 19:04

(dad speaking)

Well as we speak my DW and dd(7.5) are having a bath together right now. Although I rarely have a bath with ds I often have a shower with her in the mornings before we go to school. I have in the past wondered if she was too old but until she starts getting a hard time from peers or until eyebrows within the social department are raised, I'll carry on regardless.
There was a period of awareness, around 4, when she looked and tried to 'help wash' but a little talk soon put that to bed.
Now, there's more effort getting her in and out in time for school rather than avoiding potentially embarrassing questions!

minxofmancunia · 25/10/2010 19:19

Bonkers, dh and dd have a shower together a couple of times a week, she's 4. It's the only way you can get her to wash her hair without accompanying screaming!

Me and dh dont "parade" as it were but we do wander from room to room naked in the morning for example. I thought this was normal?

Abip · 25/10/2010 19:44

Oh how silly ! However I can relate to this. I once went out with a man who said you bathe with your son thats disgusting. My son was 4 and i was so upset and thought i was doing something wrong! I rang my sister who has two children and she put me straight. She said dont be ridiculous ! Her dd shares shower with her SD and mum. My daughter who is eight often gets into the shower with me as it economical. The hot water runs out and we both have afro hair that takes a while to wash. Trust me we would have to get up at the crack of dawn if we were to get out on time!! I am actually wondering whether its just one of the mums that had this opinion and that the other ones have simplied agreed for worry of being ridiculed ?

extremepie · 28/10/2010 20:51

It is quite sad that some people seem to have this view at all! How are young children supposed to learn about what adult bodies look like if they never see their parents without clothes! I really don't see what the problem is, in a lot of other countries nudity is so much more common and 'normal', lets face it, naked bodies are natural and not anything to be ashamed of!

Ne11 · 28/10/2010 21:13

Just wonder if they're saying that it's wrong because they feel they ought to say it's wrong IYSWIM, rather than actually believing that it's wrong?

Needaname · 28/10/2010 22:01

You'll all be very jealous but we've just had a huuuuge bath installed and we all fit :o. DH, DD, a big bump and me.

Obviously I have to be in there too to ensure my DH is not a paedophile

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