Do other parents make you feel inadequate ??

[nutcracker]

A friend of mine invited me round for coffee today. Her SIL was also going to be there with her 2 yr old and 11 week old ds's.

Don't get me wrong, her SIL was lovely, very friendly etc but she made me feel so inadequate.

When it got to lunch time my friend got up to make lunch (ham salad sanwiches) and her SIL had brought her 2 yr old sons lunch of celery, cucumber, and bread with her in a little box, which I felt was a bit funny as there was nothing wrong or unhealthy with the food my friend was providing.
She also refused to let her Ds have a cake after his lunch saying that he doesn't have stuff like that and, then asked if my friend would turn the tv off as her ds doesn't watch it.

My kids all watch tv, eat crisps, cake etc and I didn't research the best baby bottle or reusable nappy for them etc, and I just sat there feeling like a crap parent.

I know it's silly but i did.

She sounds like a PITA of a house guest!

No way. You are not a crap parent. No way.

they had pitta too?
gosh

you're not crap nutty, you're normal

Feel a bit sorry for her son.

don't sound crap to me honney. just u both have differnt parenting styles - perhpas u're more relaxed then she is?

I know i am being stupid really, but i was just surprised by how bothered I was really, and I was annoyed for my friend really as I know she had been to the shop especially today to get stuff in for them to have for lunch.

The odd treat is NOT going to harm any child. You don't see your friends SIL 24/7 - I can GUARANTEE she's not as perfect as you think.

No, my DD watches CBeebies and DVDs. She doesn't eat crisps and only get cake very occassionally, but she eats what is provided when we go out.

I'd like to have tried reusable nappies, but we live in a small flat w/no garden to hang out washing and no dryer or room for a dryer. Such is life.

I didn't research the best bottle b/c I didn't know what kinds were out there and was very ill w/PND.

DD is happy, well-adjusted, affectionate and delightful, so I'm pleased as punch to be her mum.

If God hadn't wanted me to be her mum or didn't think I was the best choice, He wouldn't have given her to me.

Food intolerances might explain the lunch in a box for the older ds but I can't help feeling even though it was her sister's house she was a bit cheeky asking for the TV to be switched off.
Being a good parent is not really about refusing cake and TV, nutty, and you know it but Perfect Mummies can be very intimidating...

Celery cucumber and bread is not very nutritious and I'd say, totally unsuitable as a main meal for a twoyear old. Ham salad sandwiches and cake are far more suitable. More protein and more calories. and to ask your friend to turn the tv off !!!! that's SO rude! Totally unacceptable. Poor kid.

Yep i think i am more relaxed and normal i spose if thats what normal is.

The little boy cried when she said he couldn't have a cake.

Stick to your guns, nutcracker, you can be my friend and watch me give in to ds's blackmail whingeing for biscuits and cartoons then you'll feel much better

Each to their own but I think one of the most awful things to do to a child is to make them a social outcast. No cake? No tv? What next? You're a great parent, just like me!

Feeling more sorry for the little boy now!

I'd rather be happy , enjoy my time with dd, and make her happy, than be smug eating bits of celery!

Yes, unless the child has a pretty severe food allergy problem, the food provided was IMO not very suitable. No protein at all, and precious few vitamins in cucumber and celery.

he cried? Poor little boy. Horrid mummy!

he cried? Poor little boy. Horrid mummy!

LOL @ you lot.

Actually think i was probably a bit jealous too, in a look at the good job she's doing sort of way.

Plus she is loaded beyond belief too, designed her own house (think grand designs).

Blimey hope she's not an mner LOL.

there ya go then. Would you like to be a mean "perfect" mum or a relaxed mum with a happy child?

poor little lad. What's the point in trips out if there's no little treats. Think you sound like a normal mum nutcracker. Since joining mumsnet I've read loads of interesting discussions and questioned a few things about my own parenting but in the end I know I'm not perfect but I love my kids and they love me and that's what counts IMO.

She's a control freak with an eating disorder. You bet.

Ahhhh I knew you lot would put me right