Massive problem with smokers

[BrightonMum2Be]

I detest smoking and don't relish the idea of my smoker in-laws cuddling my baby daughter (due in 4 weeks) when they visit. Same goes for my smoker friends.

How can I tackle this without looking like a big snob? I just hate the idea of them going into the garden for a fag and then thinking it's acceptable to exhale their foul nicotine-infused breath all over my gorgeous child!!

Hysterical I know ....

Not hysterical at all. You are completely right to be concerned. The link between cot death and passive smoking (including being around someone who has been smoking) is well documented. Although a quick cuddle is not likely to be harmful, I would advise that you ask your DH to read his parents the riot act. A lot has changed in 30 years and the health concerna are common knowledge. If they want to cuddle their grandaughter, they should respect your views. You are not being snobbish in the least. Surely if they want to see your lovely baby, they should be able to stay off the fags for a few hours?

i wouldnt let my friends hold my ds for 30 mins after a fag,made them wash there hands and have some gum,i was a bit ott but my baby my rules.

Agree that you're not hysterical. I'd ban smoking from your home, including the garden Your dh is the best person to explain this to his parents and you need to explain it to your friends. Hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised by how considerate people are.

Thanks ladies, my husband's family probably already think I'm a snob so I've nothing to lose by telling them I'd rather they didn't hold her right after smoking. Everyone in his family smokes, even when the kids are playing next to them. And his smoker sister-in-law has even offered to be our childminder when I go back to work. AS IF! That, however, is another thread entirely ...

So just keep your baby away from the nasty smokers then ..keep her in a bubble

"I just hate the idea of them going into the garden for a fag and then thinking it's acceptable to exhale their foul nicotine-infused breath all over my gorgeous child!!"

To be fair, BM2Be, the child might not be gorgeous. Something to think about.

FallingWithStyle - you are probably an oil painting. If you having nothing positive to say, please fuck off.

yep thats what i made them do when my ds was a newborn,except obv they dont often carry toothbrushes around so i went for the gum / drinks.

Its that time of night isnt it?

OK.
FFS

(Oh and Fallingwithstyle is right, your child might not be gorgeous...)
(oh and nothing positive means not agreeing with you does it?)

(oh and.... nah fuck it. night)

Now I am off to bed

Oh come on!
You cant have taken that seriously - was a crap gag. Thats all.

I think BrightonMum2Be needs to chill a little

Always the in-laws innit

Beertrix - where are all these nasty posts you are talking about?

Everyone seems to be agreeng with op.

There was just mine...but I made no comment about the smoking thing, was just being a bit irreverent.

Beertrix - I'll tell you - it's the tone of disgust running through OP's post. People don't like that. Different thing to ask how to speak to people about not smoking near baby.

oh and vitriolic too. There are none

I don't believe in smoking around babies BUT I'm not sure how someone who's had a fag outside can be so dangerous that they must be kept away from a baby for 30 minutes. Every time you take your baby out in the street, they are going to be inhaling vehicle fumes that are far more harmful - so I think it's a bit mean to treat smokers like some kind of pariah.

Treat them like lepers.
Really. Smokers who are selfish enough to inflict it on others, especially children.
We all know the risks.
Feel free to treat them like lepers. No pussy footing round selfish people when kids are involved. Their addiction. Their problem not yours.

Treat them like pariahs too. Passive smoke inhillation is dangerous for a baby that may be vulnerable for sids.

You do not know if your baby could be vulnerable. Not worth the risk. They don't smoke when they visit. End of. Or they don't visit. Clear choice.

Good lord.

Nice plan missic. Let them not smoke when they visit.

How do you propose to police the immediate half hour before setting foot over your sacred door?

Don't get me wrong - Like most people, I wouldn't dream of smoking near a child or baby. However, I don't believe that most smokers are actively evil.

It's risk management, do you deprive your child of possibly very happy relationships with their family, or do think the smokey miasma is too dangerous. It would be interesting to know quite what the dangers are of being held by a smoker grandma as opposed to being exposed to the world at large. Presumably it's not recommended to hold a child at a car exhaust pipe for 5 mins, but in passing - as in through a car park - there's no condemnation.

What exactly are the risks? Any citations? If there are significant risks, perhaps that outweigh the benefit of living in a happy extended family, of course assess then. But at the moment, it just seems that you find it 'icky'.

Of course smokers are not evil.
The act of smoking is not evil.
Smoking around an infant or indeed another person who chooses not to smoke is unadulterated self centred pleasure seeking at the cost of someone else's health/smoke free experience of the air that we have no other choice but to breathe.

The dangers of passive smoking ( and the evidence of the effects upon children who are reared around smokers) are well documented. The dangers of passing through a car park are not documented so we can only assume at this point that there is less ill effect upon health.
Smokers simply need to accept that like any addict, they should indulge in their addiction in private and in a way that will only destroy their own health.