Reins????

[shirleycat1]

My 16 month old wants to walk walk walk, but he WILL NOT hold my hand. I live in a busy area where people drive like maniacs a lot of the time. I'm considering reins.

I had reins when I was little, but you never see anyone in them these days. I told my friend I was thinking of getting them and she said "what, like a dog, can't you just teach him not to go in the road". The short answer to that is no, but I don't want my little boy to look like a dog.

Any thoughts on this?

(My above post was addressed to Mrs R). You would be shocked at a 10 month old wearing reins? I don't follow.

I am not particularly right on though, this is my personal opinion not representitive of a 'right on' mass at all
I am one of the least fashionable people I know in terms of child rearing

So al those children that are killed on roads in the uk are down to negligent parents not teaching their children to stop at the roadside Mrs R? I prefer to use the method that makes most sense in your environment myself.

In busy urban areas I will not take the chance that my youngest (2 next month) will stop at the roadside (especially aas I have two older, but not old enough to cross unsupervised, children, to monitor. As all children are differnt and most are easily distracted even when they are old enough to know better - dd1 is constantly giving me heart attacks (at the age of 4) as she drifts into the road unconsciously on occasion too busy staring at a tree or the moon or an interesting shaped cloud! I have to shout like a fish wife (to my despair) to keep her focused and dd2 though not as dreamy is a bolter and the occasional use of her reins/ back pack combo makes life easier and safer - no more undignified than being strapped to my back or the pushchair imo.

I think reins are great. However much a toddler has 'learned' not to run into the road, all it takes is a cute dog or ball or other child or anything and they can run in front of a car. They do not understand danger at this age. I am all for them learning risks by falling over etc and encourage that sort of thing. I do not want them to learn risks by being hit by a car.

When they're a bit older, I have carried reins with me and said 'hold my hand / walk nicely or it's the reins' which also works.

Have never understood what people have against them.

if you teach your children to hold your hand from the beginning they will. If they don't want to hold your hand they can go in the pram, thats how I have always seen it.
I have nothing against reins but reins don't last forever do they? children need to learn to be safe.

laugh - I do not see this as a black or white issue - | use reins on occasion - when I do not have the pram with me. I teach all dc to hold my hand and stop at and cross the road safely - this is not precluded by my use of reins - strange for people to think somehow they are used to abdicate or put off, responsibility for road safety. I do not understand that position. Anyway off to do pick up without reins or buggy...

I love reins. Brilliant. Allowed DS a little more freedom when walking, so he could use both hands and balance himself.

As my mother always said when confronted with the "it's treating your child like a dog" - would you keep your dog safer than your child?

Reins are a great safety device. There comes a time when they are no longer necessary - I stopped using them routinely on DS when he was 2.6 - but useful to still have. A few weeks ago we went for a walk with another mum & child to the river; DS kept slipping out of my handhold so he went back on the reins. I am not prepared to take those chances with his safety and it's ENTIRELY up to me, not some bunch of judgeypants others, how I do that.

Reins can be really useful when your child starts walking but is too young to be trusted when running ahead. Don't worry what other people think.

I wonder if the people who object to them strap their children into pushchairs? Isn't that also restraining them for their own safety?

My dd is almost three and she still has reins - well its the backpack i use with the "lead". We both love her rucksack she puts her toys and other bits and bobs in and happily puts it on before a walk. When we are just going a walk to the shop (quiet area) i still take it but she holds the handle but as soon as we go to a busy road i have the handle - i am shocked that people think reins are no way to treat a human being. I also wouldn't be taking notice of your friend we all parent differntly.

also i have a baby in a pram founf reins really difficult to use with the pram but now i hve the backpack it makes things so much easier.

Absolutley essential for DS1 and DS2. If you need them get them. Otherwise a wrist strap.

Back in the olden days when I had one single child I to though that reins were cruel and that you should just be looking after your child and stopping them getting near the road.

Now I have 16 month old twins as well as two older boys I have taken off my judgey pants !

If they run ahead of you on the street, really, what harm is there in it?

This is possibly one of the silliest things I've read on here. And if 'ahead of you on the street' has a road at the end? I don't know about yours but my 2yo wouldn't think to stop at the kerb. She's getting it but she's not there yet. As she is a bolter we use reins. I also strapped her into the pushchair and make sure she's secure in her car seat, so shoot me. But I prefer to see her a little bit restrained than under a car. Just my personal opinion and all that.

I used them with DS, especially when we were walking to the shops, and needed to be able to ensure he was still with me when I was occupied paying etc. They are no more of a limit on a childs freedom than strapping them into a buggy

Nothing wrong with reins at all. I've used a little life backpack with DS2 and now DS3 is using one.

With DS2 they were the only option of keeping him safe when out and about as he has autism and bolts at every oppertunity. He isn't as bad now but in the early days they worked great.

Reins vs no reins is a bit like prams vs sling really isn't it.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and wish I had some because DS (2.4) has just decided it's hilarious to run away from me in car parks/ on the street etc. It terrifies me. He's always been really good at walking with me/ not running away but they do go through these phases. He's learning not to do it but that doesn't happen overnight with a toddler. And I think reins are less cruel than me hanging onto his hood/ restraining him against the car with my huge body mass!

In an ideal world we'd never need to restrain our children ever because it is a bit humiliating for them I think. Safety comes first though so no judgy pants from me.

Reins help us to get to the park faster because they keep toddler going in a straight line.

why is it fine, out of interest, to restrain a toddler by holding hands, or grabbing them if they are going astray, but not using reins?

certainly a toddler on reins is freer than one in a pushchair....

Wow, I went out for a few hours and returned to this. Opinion certainly seems to be divided, but actually I'm going to get some. My DS is a crazy horse and loves doing what I tell him not to. Instead of having multiple arguments/putting him back in his pram, I think reins are going to be the answer. It will make him feel like he's got freedom and he's still get in trouble for walking towards the road, but he won't get squashed.

Thanks everyone.

My DS wanted to walk everywhere and I never used a buggy once he turned two. He also felt uncomfortable holding my hand so I got some reins. I always gave him the choice of holding my hand or wearing reings and he chose reins every time. It's not possible to keep your eyes on a child every second and reins mean you can relax for a bit and look around at other things as you go along rather than worrying about where your toddler is running off to.

I am also pro reins. DD held hands with no problems but DS simply wouldn't for more that a couple of seconds unless we were crossing a road, when I ignored the protests and wriggling fingers.

Wasn't an ideal solution but rather that than strapped in a buggy with no freedom/exercise.

When mine were little we had several pairs of reins, they attached to the d ring in the push chair and also in our high chair, so they were used to having the reins on.
I never understood why so many mn are against them, it's just another way of keeping a toddler safe.

DD was an early walker but i still kept her in the pushchair when it wasn't safe, eg on roads, busy shops, and if i wanted to get somewhere in a hurry! She had plenty of time for running about in safe areas like parks, playgrounds etc. Now she's 2.5 and is allowed to walk on the pavement but she understands about holding hands to cross roads etc, and if she's naughty she goes back in the pushchair.

I guess some kids may need them though, and each to their own, but surely they give a false sense of security - unless you've got it pulled really tight they could still wander into the road, surely?

I do not see how reins give a false sense of security. One of those wrist leads might but I believe they are somewhat dangerous anyway, to the child's wrist and for other reasons. Reins aren't long enough to allow the child to get into the road unless you are walking on the kerb, and I always have DS on the inside of me anyway on roads.

You can try and teach your child to stay with you, stop at roads and come when called - but you cannot guarantee they will do what you want/say 100% of the time - and it's those few times that they decide not to listen that scare me.

exactly - my reins are short so that he can't make it to the ground.