Feeding (routine or on demand from 0+) ?

[Freeasabird58]

What are your experiences with this? I am currently reading "Gina Ford's book for contented baby.

just to get some opinions.

x

step away from that book!!!!

feeding on demand,as many cuddles as possible,baby sling or carrier.

enjoy your baby being a baby,

theres plenty of time for routine as they get older.

in my humble opinion.

I don't think you have to be completely one way or the other.

Ds- dh and I both studying so needed to give each other time to work etc so while I did feed on demand I would know what time he had fed and have a rough idea in my head of when he would next be hungry.

Dd- Latched her on when she ocmplained about anything!

I have a friend who was very Gina Ford but she was still responsive to the needs of her baby. Routine really seemed to work for her but if the baby seemed hungry between feeds then of course she owuld feed him.

Some friends feed the baby all the time, others keep a rough timetable. You do what works for you and I don't think there is really a right or wrong so long as you keep some flexibility.

Gin ford is ok as long as you take it with a pinch of salt, she does have some good idea's but can also talk a load of shit.

I fed on demand, as it happened ds was a 3 hourly feeder anyway from quite young so didn't bother with that part of the book but I learned a lot about daytime naps. Like a baby tends to start getting tired around 1 1/2 - 2 hours after getting up which helped me immensly as I didn't have a clue! But I ignored the bit about baby napping in his/her own cot in pitch black as I thought it better to allow baby to differentiate between day and night and learn to sleep in places other than just the cot as I didn't want to be one of those parents who rushed home at certain points of the day because he wouldn't sleep anywhere else.

Her breast feeding routine is shocking I found but her ff routine worked for us once we changed over.

Like I said, it's a book that needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. Take from it what you need and disregard the rest. Ultimately though, given the chance, baby will quite happily settle into their own routine.

True. thank you both for your comments.

At the moment i feel: I plan on breas-feeding and also expressing so this gives DP a chance to get involved with feeding too but baby still getting my milk.

I love the thought of a tad bit of routine in regards to not being so out of sync that the baby & I are unhappy.

(althoughi don't have my baby yet) but by going by friends experiences, 1. who had her baby in a routine from 3 weeks old and BF. another who is still struggling to get 3 hours sleep at 9 weeks... and the baby is so use to the boob that its never off of it!

and to me, a baby should get use to going to sleep other than being on the boob, cry and then get attention, you shouldn't have to rock/swing/make such a fuss to get baby to sleep.

AAAHH i dont know how to word this properly... um

I believe in feeding the baby so he/she gets the most from you. there is feeding on demand to which as you said easilyconfused that you can record times etc, so you roughly know when they are hungry. because if you gice baby the boob EVERYtime it cries, surely you wont learn to define each cry, and the baby may not even want milk!

Do i make sense? sorry im rubbish with words and tend to talk complete gabble!

I know what im trying to say lol x

Yeah, if baby wants to nap in the day i think its just as nice for them to snooze in their rocker or so, not in pitch black as i agree baby ultimately needs to know the difference between day & night

IMO? sorry having a dizzy day!

Im not saying its a bad thing, i'm just using my friends experiences. its good it worked for yo, but then what happens if rocking a newborn turns into a toddler who is clingy and will only go to sleep in your arms (one of my friends experiences) i am all for the cuddling, feeding, caring, bonding, dirty nappys etc. i can't wait. I just want to be able to make that transtition from newborn to content baby without getting completely lost.

obviously being a first time mummy im going to be none-the wiser !

Thats great to here, yeah i think i'm just trying to cure my worries. but as you said. the best way is to go with the flow. the baby will adapt & adjust to you plus introducing their needs...

How did any of you find BF in regards to know how much the baby has??

A routine is all well and good but I really don't think it should be done straight from birth.

Your baby has spent 9 months being inside you, hearing your heartbeat, eating when it wants, sleeping when it wants, feeling warm and cosy and effectively being "cuddled", rocked and carried all the time. It has to go through the traumatic experience of actually being born and is thrown into a bright, unfamiliar world (no wonder they come out crying !). Trying to enforce a routine immediately is, imo, only going to make you and your baby extremely stressed.

I also agree that the most well adapted and least clingy toddlers and children I know are the ones who were fed on demand, cuddled lots etc. and felt secure. Just enjoy your newborn and try not to worry about routines etc.

i just fed her when she wanted to be fed,you'll get the hang off it...its not always easy,but it is worth it!
my dd who is now two,was fed on demand,carryed almost everywhere,rocked/fed to sleep,we didnt plan any of this,but she had reflux and screamed in pain whenever we put her down.but im so glad we did do it this way...she is a very happy content 2yr old, and is currently spending the weekend with her grandpa,who she adores.
yes she can be clingy,she does sometimes wake at night,she has tantrums...shes a toddler!

How did you learn to tell the difference between cries if you fed when the baby cried??

You just do learn to tell the difference after a while. Often a different pitch etc. Also, you can spot hunger cues before they get to the crying stage (nuzzking around for milk, sticking tongue out for example). Don't worry, you will get to know your baby :) They are all different and while our experiences and your friends' experiences can help you they may not relate in any way to your own. Some babies are chilled and seem ahppy to snooze wherever you put them while others want to sleep in your arms or a sling. It is ok though, they will get older and they will gradually start to sleep in other places. They are only little for a short time.

FWIW I've had one who only napped in a sling for 6 months then started dropping off in his cot. Smilarly at night he would drop off in his cot then come into my bed when he woke for feeds but by 6 months was sleeping all night in his own cot. He just did it. My second screamed to sleep. Didn't matter if it was in a sling, arms, cot, whatever she would scream and scream until she fell asleep and at 18 months has just about started to sleep ok at night. Same parents, pretty much the same way of doing things, different children. But they are both happy, loving and secure :)

The Baby Whisperer book has a section about recognising cries and hunger/tired signals. It may be useful but tbh, they are all so different and your own baby will have its own little signals and a lot of the time its just down to process of illumination.

The thing is that breastfeeding isn't necessarily just about giving them food. For the first few weeks, your baby will be working hard to build up your supply so that there's plenty in the tanks for when they are older and hungrier. Their sucking reflex is also very strong and they will want to suck for comfort etc. not just for food. The honest truth is that, for the first few weeks at least, it will seem like the baby is constantly attached to your boob. Kellymom is a good website for lots more info on b'fing

I read all the books (Gina, Baby Whisperer etc.) when I was pg with my first. I didn't feel very confident, had no experience of babies and just wanted someone to tell me how to do it "properly". It just made me horribly stressed because my dd didn't want to follow that routine at that time, she just wanted to find her own (which she did, at around 16 weeks). I slowly began to realise that, depsite these book authors being "experts", the only expert on my own baby was me (and DH to a certain extent ). With my second, I just went with the flow and DS is/was a much happier baby as a result

elimination not illumination

tbh in the first few weeks every time they cry usually does mean they're hungry! One thing i was not prepared for was how often a newborn feeds - with DD1 this led me to think i didn't have enough milk, topped up with formula and then ended up having to give up BF when she preferred the bottle. With DD2, now 8 weeks, i went with the flow a lot more, she is fed when she is hungry, even though in the early days that was all the bloody time! Now feeds are spacing out a bit as she spends more time playing and cooing but it's still completely on demand, no routine, and she is a very contented little thing who rarely cries.

as for knowing how much they have, the only way to tell is by plenty of dirty nappies and weight gain, expressing isn't much of an indicator.

Don't stress about routine or what other people do, go with your own instincts and it will all be fine

and to me, a baby should get use to going to sleep other than being on the boob, cry and then get attention, you shouldn't have to rock/swing/make such a fuss to get baby to sleep

Awww, bless. I remember not having a baby yet.

Re crying for hunger and for other things - if you offer the breast and they still cry, it's probably something else. You just go through the list, and see what works, at first.

How did you all find nightfeeds on demand?

I started with a three hourly routine, using Gina Ford and the Babywhisperer as a rough guide. He slept in his own cot in his own room during the day when we are home and in his Moses basket at night. Clearly if he is hungry before 3 hours are up, I would feed him but I've tended to need to wake him. The routine has worked so well for us and given us all some structure to the day and ensured that both of us are well rested and well fed.

Nightfeeds were tiring. You mention your friend who still isn't getting 3 hrs sleep in a row - I'd say that was fairly standard. Remember, they have tiny stomachs that can only hold a small amount at a time.

I can't see how nightfeeds could work with a routine (I binned GF when I was about 6 months pregnant as it all looked far too hard). Would you wake them every few hours or something, if they didn't wake themselves?

I didn't bother expressing. It sounded like a nice idea but took ages (other women are better at it though), which defeated to object a lot of the time. There's more to being a parent to one's baby than feeding them - plenty of other ways for your dh to be involved.

MrsGangly was that from day one? BF?

The flip side of course to the horror of sleep deprivation, is how lovely it is to sit feeding your baby in the dead of night, when the only people awake are you, your baby and an owl or two (or so it seems).

Of course this was all a long time ago. I'm probably romanticising things a bit

See I x-posted with Gangly there wrt nightfeeds/routines. I can see that working. If I could get over my aversion to waking a sleeping baby!

tortoise.

OP,Maybe it would help not to think of offering the breast as a way of just feeding the baby, but as a way of soothing and bonding with your new LO.

New babies are way too young to get in to 'bad habits' - they will all eventually when they are ready) go to sleep without a boob in their mouth.

Re. night feeds- yep. exhausting off course but for me it helped to co-sleep. Check out the safety guidelines and once you get the hang of feeding lying down, you'll find you can feed and doze at the same time.

Try and trust your instincts (hard I know) and in the early days 'watch your baby, not the clock'. If your baby gets itself in to a routine, then all well and good, but personally I wouldn't try and enforce a routine on a baby that doesn't even know the meaning of the word.

Good luck with it all.