Feeding (routine or on demand from 0+) ?

[Freeasabird58]

What are your experiences with this? I am currently reading "Gina Ford's book for contented baby.

just to get some opinions.

x

It really really REALLY is helpful to think about it as feeding on cue, not feeding on demand. The baby will cue you to let you know when they are hungry -- a cry of hunger is a last-resort cue, they will give you plenty of cues beforehand.

Your baby need not necessarily ever cry except for specific things such as pain or illness. It's rare, but it does happen -- we were lucky enough for that to be the case for us. Our DS fed on cue, was cuddled a lot, and basically was a sweet happy placid baby who never cried except for a couple of times when he was in pain. Same was mostly true for DD, except that we couldn't always get to her quite quickly enough b/c of having DS to deal with as well.

Nightfeeds are made much easier if you can get the hang of feeding lying down and can co-sleep relaxedly (ie without lying awake worrying about squishing the baby). It's knackering but a lot less knackering than getting up and down continuously.

I strongly recommend that if you're going to read GF, you balance it out with a book by eg Deborah Jackson.

Expressing can be pretty difficult, btw. If you want to keep DH involved, you could try the New Tradition you deal with what goes in, he deals with what comes out. Plus, of course, he's there to provide moral and other support when you're feeding water, cushions, positive reinforcement etc etc.

wether breastfeeding or bottle feeding i'm pretty certain you can't expect a newborn baby to know it's got to go 3-4hrs between a feed.

So on demand i say. I have only ever breastfed, but even at very nearly 18m with DC3, she still feeds whenever she wants!! she sleeps from 7pm till 7am, she has a good daytime nap, she's happy and content all through the day and in all aspects of daily life.

I started with a three hourly routine, using Gina Ford and the Babywhisperer as a rough guide. He slept in his own cot in his own room during the day when we are home and in his Moses basket at night. Clearly if he is hungry before 3 hours are up, I would feed him but I've tended to need to wake him. The routine has worked so well for us and given us all some structure to the day and ensured that both of us are well rested and well fed

MrsGangly - Are you me? I could have written that word for word! Its working very well for me with DD2. I read the books and used them as a guide rather than a rule book, you read them and take away with you the bits that suit you.
I'm exclusively breastfeeding and it has been pretty much from day one, though in the early days it was very hit and miss, now at 8 weeks she is feeding 3hourly and only waking once in the night, around 4 -5am.

Hi Freeasabird58, (will you be changing your name once your LO is born?!)
Just kidding- my DS has been a bit of a GF baby from 4 weeks old and I found it worked really well for him and I. I say 'a bit' because like others on here have already said, I took it with a pinch of salt. I followed the feeding and sleeping routines, but I also let him nap in his pram when we were out etc. I would say though that when I initially started it, it wasn't working, so after a week I decided to make sure he had all his naps in his bed. This worked a treat and meant that after a week of that, it was so established he would then sleep anywhere. I still do that now and he's 11 mo. We travel alot, and if we've been away and the routines gone a bit topsy turvy because of jet lag etc, I have a week at home where all his naps are in bed and it gets him right back on track. I completely agree with the other poster who said how useful the advice was on putting them down for a nap just 1.5 hours after they wake in the morning. I had no clue they would be this tired already after a nights sleep. The first time I tried I thought, well he doesn't even seem tired but let's give it a go' and to my complete surprise he slept soundly for 40 mins and has ever since. As for feeding, my DS naturally seemed to fit into those times, and being formula fed it was easy for me to know how much he actually had. So I can appreciate how if BF and a particularly hungry baby it would seem silly to not feed them because it's not in the routine. GF is so controversial and I honestly don't know why when much of it is common sense. I've always believed in lots of cuddles etc, and my DS is a happy healthy 11mo who has been a good sleeper until very recently... In fact the only thing that just got him back on track was some mumsnet advice that actually backed up what I was reading in GF.
I think the best way that I can put it is that, in my opinion, having a routine for your baby will actually give YOU flexibility and more freedom. I felt just by knowing when I was going to be feeding and when he would be sleeping really enabled me to feel 'normal' again really quickly, and he just fit right into our lives. Sorry a bit long, I just can't rate it highly enough if you use your head and do what feels right for you and your lo. Good luck anyway, I hadn't even thought of any of these things while pregnant, so you're a step ahead most people I think!

Thank you for all of your replies!

Yeah I think i am kind of apprehensive about breast-feeding living in a house with 3 blokes! (DP who i dont mind, brother and dad!) so for me the anxious bit right now is the thought of night feeds waking up the house if i can't settle the baby, i would honestly more than likely feed in provate or in mine and DPs room for a while just to get my bearings.

sorry if i sound a bit waa waa childish. i'm just more anxious about dealing with the crys in the middle of the night and hoping that everyone doesnt think i cant cope! probably a whole different topic but just thought i'd add so it makes sense why im asking about feeding..

but i have said from the start i want to breast-feed, and maybe express. who knows how it'll all pan out. it's just first time mum nerves i guess?

i do think i'd feel more relaxed if we had our own place though.

x

Free - that does sound very difficult I'm sure if you put a post on the feeding board, you'll get some great advice about feeding discretely etc.

If your concern is honestly stopping the baby crying a.s.a.p. in the night, then b'fing on demand (or on cue) is probably going to cause the least disturbance. Most babies generally give you a bit of warning before they start crying.

Its totally natural to have first time mum nerves (and with subsequent dc's - you'll still worry about things ). Good luck

Free, yes, breastfeeding and used a 2 hourly routine for the first couple of days and then a 3 hourly routine. He was quite jaundiced and drowsy initially so I had to make sure he was feeding, but it meant we got into a routine very early on.

I would have a different answer to tilly about being worried about waking others overnight. I wake my son up about 3am (depends on when he fed last) and get a feed into him that lasts until 6-7am. He's hardly ever cried overnight and sleeps well either side of that feed.

I would say don't worry about a routine in the first few weeks.
Also, your baby will need to feed very very frequently. When they're born their tummies are tiny, so they take little and often. Sleep will be hell the first few months - that's just how it is with a newborn!

The lady in my postnatal class who did Gina Ford, routine from birth and left her DS to cry it out now has a toddler that won't sleep unless she's in the room with him! I had a few months of sleeping hell (DS got ill and remained so for a while) but now I put him to bed, walk out the room and that's it.

I generally knew DS was hungry as he would 'peck' at my face when he needed milk. later on his cues changed and I went through a period of trial and error to figure out what he wanted.

I was also really nervous about night time - I'm living with DH, mum, dad, brother, sister and sisters boyfriend! DH got new job and we moved from the other end of the country when I was 37wks pg.
DS is now 14 weeks and has NEVER woken anyone other than me and (less often) DH despite having some impressive mignight meltdowns! I am BF and although was embarrassed for the first few days home I got over it - my dad and brother are used to it and cant see much anyway. if they want to chat I throw a muslin over me. I also would love our own space but trust me the help is great! Always having someone to hold the baby is very useful!
On the routine front I have only been trying the last couple of weeks nd I'm finding we're all - me DH and DS much happier and getting more sleep!

I was fairly sure I was going to get DS into a routine when I was pregnant. But he had other ideas, sensibly, and gave us a three week introduction to nightmare parenting, that is colic! By the end of that we rocked, sang, cuddled and fed on demand (which I planned to do anyway) which was how he needed us to parent him. He's a high strung wee beastie so needed that extra support, but he's repaid it back a thousand fold, because he's so very happy, confident and utterly charming at 1.
To be honest all babies settle into a routine in time, but it's their routine not Gina's, and by their very nature some babies are able to self settle from a young age and others need to take some time to learn how, the nicest way for them to learn is by feeling safe in your arms.
I would be very wary of the book if you want to successfully breastfeed. The bits in it where she says that not following a routine leads to exhaustion and lack of milk is utter nonsense. Not feeding enough is what ruins supply - your newborn's tummy is the size of a tiny marble, that means it's going to need to feed lots and lots, and that is totally normal - not a sign of lack of milk. Baby knows best and if you let the wee one feed whenever it's hungry then you'll no more run out of milk than you would blood. As a wise but slightly odd midwife once told me your boobs like streams not buckets!

I have only read her baby and toddler book as have both now.

I found the advice to express from the first week very good, it takes a while to do at first but does get quicker. It meant DH does the 10pm feed and you can sleep from 8pm if necessary. Brilliant.

Also the feeding regularly throughout the day, and waking to feed also good. Ds2 usually wakes once a night and sometimes sleeps through till 5am. He is 9wks !

Plus he hardly ever cries. And is happy and smiley.

Routine wize I think it's nice to have a plan to aim for. But if we are off the routine by 9am I don't worry about it. Just start over the next day.

I 'let' baby fall asleep on me all the time, it's lovely.

Ds1 was demand lead, don't wake baby up blah blah. It took a lot longer for him to do good sleeping.

And swaddle! Makes for much sleeping.

Get a nursing cover - bebe au lait. Will make you feel more comfy.

Good luck!

I agree with Poppet - certainly the copy of GF's book that I've got has feeding advice which directly contradicts the NHS and World Health Organisation's advice that babies should be breastfed 'frequently and on-demand'. I do think the term 'on demand' is unfortunate as it sounds as if you're giving in to the baby being 'demanding', when actually all you're doing is feeding the baby when they're hungry - seems sensible to me! :)

There's information on feeding cues (and lots of other breastfeeding stuff - it's really helpful) here.

In the early weeks of breastfeeding it is really important that you are feeding in the evening and at night as that is when the chemicals that prompt your body to make milk are most active. (Sorry, that's not very technical at all but I can't remember the exact details - prolactin is the stuff, I think). So if you are going to offer a bottle of expressed milk, at night is not a good time to do so, for the first few weeks, at least, since it can have a negative effect on your supply.

I'd use bits of the book which are helpful and ignore the rest. Definitely ignore any book which tells you that you or your baby must or should do things a certain way, (unless there's a valid medical reason for doing so). What works for one baby doesn't work for another - you and your little one will work it out in a way that suits you.

Good luck!

Just looking on Kellysmom website, some good info on there regarding breastfeeding.

Quick Q:

When expressing, how do you know how much is foremilk and the other milk in each pump??

anyone who's combined breast-feeding & expressing, when did you start expressing and how did you combined them both???

Dozeyland, the difference between foremilk & hindmilk isn't an on/off thing; it starts off foremilk and gets more and more fat in it (ie hindmilk) as the breast gets emptier. The foremilk is thin and watery looking and sometimes has a blueish tinge. The hindmilk is thick and creamy and looks more like gold top milk. I can't say I ever took any notice when I was expressing, though.

DS only took 3 bottles before I decided expressing was too much hassle, though, so I can't help with your other question!

Oh, but Kellymom does have a section on expressing too. I think it's called 'for pumping moms' or something like that.