please help me. i'm growing out of love with daughter...

[newmomma]

she's 9 weeks.
she just cries.
i'm finding it hard to bond with her and i'm really struggling to cope.
i'm sobbing. i just don't know what to do.

She can be hungry, DS2 is 19 weeks now and still feeds every 1-2 hours and is a monster.

If she shuts up for your Dad, then can you get him to have her for a bit regularly (or anyone else she will be quiet for). Just so you can get out of ear shot and recharge.
Try not to do too much.

It could be reflux, so maybe the GP can help.

The long term advice is that she won't still be doing this at 18, and I mean years not weeks. That helped me with DS, as I couldn't believe his colic would ever go away.

Could I just ask, how is the BFing going? Any issues with supply? Too much milk or too little? Sometimes those issues can make baby feel stressed around mum because they can constantly smell the milk.

My first had colic just like you describe, and it was awful. I remember she would only go to sleep if I swung her in her car seat for hours and I thought my arms would drop off... She's still a sensitive soul, although the colic settled at around 12 weeks. At that time we had pretty good luck with the Tiny Love gym, mobile & take along arch. They would give me a few minutes respite, at least.

And really do give Homestart a try if you can- they really understand because they've been there.

Hi All,

My dad does his best - comes over as often as poss - and my sis came on Friday - baby was quiet all day until I went near her...

BFing going well - she's very noisy, so wind/colic may well be a problem but it can't be all of it. I probably have too much milk rather than too little, but not so that I've seen her 'drowning' or anything. She's putting on weight well (bit of a chunky monkey!) and can go a good three hours usually. She's even done up to 9 hours at night. After a big day of crying.

We've just bought a baby swing - seemed to woek quite well yesterday when we tried her in it before bedtime so maybe it'll help.

Also - have started putting her to bed in the daytime in my bed - she seems far more content, and will sleep much longer. And also she's starting to take a dummy to go to sleep in the daytime too - never managed it before - it used to make her gag.

Anyway - I spoke to my doc last week (mastitis again) and she doesn't think I've got PND, but she did recommend I take baby to see one of the other doctors at the practice who is a bit of a paediatric specialist - so have booked an appt this afternoon. At least I'll be able to ask him about the skin and reflux possibilities.

Hey ho... The start of another long 5 days on my own.

hi newmomma just read the thread and wanted to offer my support.

You've got the dummy now and can put her in the bed so she'll be more settled in the day hopefully?

See if you can get gaviscon as with reflux docs don't really know until they try. It's a bit of a faff giving it when BF - I used to give it with a syringe after a feed as easier. My DS has silent reflux and was not happy unless we held him upright against us or was in the sling.

Perhaps you can wear a thick jumper and breast pads to cover the smell of your milk if you think that's setting her off? If it's reflux, she might start to associate your milk with the discomfort although it helps to soothe as well.

Is she propped up in your bed? Maybe it's more snuggly so she feels more secure?

When you take her out can you use a sling? My DS hated his lie-flat pram so hardly used it!! Perhaps go for a walk with a sling and pop the dummy in. The fresh air will really help.

A good trick for babies who won't sleep is to put them next to a radio which isn't tuned in to a station so you get that 'white noise' effect. Turn it up to a reasonable volume and it can really soothe them. I also used to put DD in front of the washing machine and run a cycle as the noise of that used to make her sleep - but DS hated it and it didn't work with him.

Definitely agree with everyone who says it wil get better - I desperately wished we hadn't had DS and I thought we'd made a terrible mistake by having him, but now I simply couldn't feel any further from that!

Hiya NM. I think could have written your posts 6 months ago. DD was born in November (DS is 20 months older). She slept constantly (except when feeding) for 3 weeks. Then she started to cry.

I'm writing this to tell you that it will stop (and soonish). DD stopped crying constantly at the beginning of February just after she made it to 13 weeks.

I am afraid nothing I tried worked for more than a few minutes. I just walked about the house with her in her sling, trailing after DS, praying that she would stop and go to sleep. I cried alot too.

My mum advocated that I should leave her to it every now and again. She said then my little sister had been the same and that she used to put her in the kitchen in her pram and shut the door and go off to have a cup of tea for 10 minutes and weep.

I couldn't do that. But I did try my hardest to just get on with things whilst carrying her around. It made me feel a bit better. Although I know that 10 mins kip here and there for 9 weeks has made you a zombie.

Hang on it there. It will get better.

How are you doing now? Are you ok? Bumping this for you.

hey hey

this is how I'm doing... (unfortunately)

New thread

newmomma hello am on the may postnatal thred,only just seen this post

I can only respond by saying that my first DD was exactly like this and that I felt the same as you. I genuinely cried every day. I was at the GP every other week and was told she was simply "grumpy". She cried all of the time.

I remember being at a weaning workshop and the HV taking me aside and asking what was wrong with my DD. I had just fed her so she was not hungry (also breast fed) and she was just crying. I had actually learnt to almost ignore it by then (I know ignore sounds awful but nothing I ever did calmed her down). HV told me it was not normal behaviour for a baby and that the doctor was stupid to tell me she was just grumpy. To be honest, 2.5 years later I am not sure who was right. She remains bloody hard work!! However I now love her to bits, but can see why she was a difficult baby even now.

I used to cry and find any opportunity to leave the house, picking up the take away etc.

We started to mix feed about 4 months. Dr Brown bottles are brilliant, as is colief - breaks down the lactose in formula. Now saying you should switch to formula but I found introducing a couple of bottles a day gave me a break. SOunds awful but she became someone elses problem for a few hours as she cried regardless of formula or breastfeeding.

Looking back I can see it was all tummy problems and feel sorry for the poor mite, but at the time, the crying drove me crazy. I dont think I had PND. I think I was down and anxious because of her behaviour, not buce versa.

It really was awfulbut it got better. Infant gaviscon helped a bit, colief helped a bit - neither made the crying go away but they helped her to nap in the day a bit.

Time helped a lot. By the time she was weaned she was an angel baby.

Have you read the baby whisperer? Some babies are classed as touchy and need lots of time out. I think my DD remains like that.If she is fed, burped and tired, a couple of minutes crying in a dark room might help her sleep? I know its very hard and even saying that now I remember my DD would not have settled butyou cantry it.

Sorry you having a hard time, its not you, certain babies are sent to test us I think. It will be fine soon ...

I tried cranial thing with DD and it didnt work for us but worth a try.I remember the guy saying how uptight our DD was. She screamed during the treatment

I took her to baby massage and warned HV that she would scream throughout and madam loved it (smile]

I remember being scared to go anywhere as took her crying as reflection on me. which it so is not.

Now at2.5 she is a real mummys girl