How can I give my dd a ''magic'' childhood?

[poshsinglemum]

Especially as a single mum on a low income.

In your opinion what makes a childhood ''magic'' or good. I guess having a good dad would help but as dd don't have this I want to overcompensate make up for it and make sure that I don't mess her up.

I hug her and kiss her a lot and I try not to loose my cool. What else?

I read something recently that its all about the memories (well as well as the attachment parenting probably).

Think back to any good things/experiences you remember of your childhood and then try and think how you can give dd that.

Am going to have a think about this myself as well...

And opportunities as well - especially educational ones - being supported in your education is the most valuable thing of all imo.

I'm not sure if you can and if you could, whether if would be desirable really?

On one of those parenting programmes they had a woman on who had a "perfect" childhood, she admitted that it had made her ill-equipped to cope with life in general.

I'm sure you are doing great - at least your DD doesn't have to listen to you bicker with her dad!!

You can't - and if you tried it would be very artificial. All you can do is the best you can - and spend more time trying to have a laugh with her, less time stressing about making it "magic".

Make sure she knows you love her unconditionally. That's the only thing that truly matters and will direct everything else like educating her and talking a lot together and following her interests and giving her boundaries and doing nice things together.

Love. Just lots and lots of love and trying to talk rather than shout (I am working on this myself). Thinking back to my own childhood, I would say it was 'magic' until my mum died when I was 9 but all the things I remember as magical were actually not the expensive things. A trip to Scarborough for the day, running around singing down old drain pipes in the garden with my brother, pretending to be a pop star with my cousin, all these kind of things I look back on with happiness, not the things that sound very interesting or exotic!

imo?

put them first

doesn't have to involve special reindeer food / trips to disneyland / spending lots / being a martyr

lots of love is good

The fact that you are asking this question indicates your DD is going to have a lovely childhood and , I imagine, look back on it (and you) very fondly.

memories - just think about what would give goodmemories.

for instance my kids remember me singing to them at bedtime. becuase baby books did my head in

however today dd aged 17 and i were tidying up - and she put 'our' songs on....ten or more years later.

lovley.

reading to them

my kids remember dh and i taking turns reading thehobbit - ido a mean smeagol,

dancing round the front room with a hairbrush, air guitar and air drums - rock on!

making a tent with a sheet over the setee or over the washing line

i remember my mum having art and craft stuf faround all the time

i remember her rolling out a roll of wallpaper and me and my friends painted on it

i remember she never got fed up with 'arty'mess

i remember my pictures all over the kitchen

and i did the same things with my kids

framed their art - only the good - im a hard critic - and put it up on the wall

custy you just made me cry!!

Being silly. And saying 'yes' sometimes, rather than the automatic 'no' when, actually, it doesn't matter (like 'yes, you can jump in puddles on the way home even though you haven't got your wellies on'). And doing unexpected fun things occasionally - I still remember having popcorn out of little cones when watching a film one day. For no reason at all.

Don't worry about having a messy house and make sure you are welcoming , fun and friendly to your dd's friends so they love coming to play.

Just spend time with her. All the things I remember doing with my mum were free things. I remember baking with her, going in to the city on the bus, just to look around, we didn't need to spend money. Even just sitting in the garden together, chatting about nothing in particular, she must have been busy, but she never made me feel that she didn't have time for me. That is important. Oh, dear! Maybe I should make more of an effort to be like that with my children.

white rabbit
hat

and cooking - my kids remember the cooking.

now im your under average kind of cook - i can't bake for shit - but we had a period of time in our lives where we decided to do a dish of the world every day so pasta or pizza was italy ofcourse - and it takes nothing to buy a pizza base - grate a shit load of cheese tube of tomato pasta slice the tomatoes mushroom pineapple - put them all in different bowls and let them make their own pizza and let them stick it in the oven. they love it

also failing at cooking can be great fun too - making a cake andfucking it up can be a good laugh too.

Reading to her, not just at bedtime.

Playing games, board games etc. in the middle of the day; not when the housework is done.

Total breaks from the norm, like a picnic in the sitting room on a wet day instead of normal dinner, or watching a film together at random times. Or dressing up in costume and acting out a story. An advantage of being a single parent is that you can call the shots and not have to fit around someone else's timetable, so take advantage of it.

But I have to agree with others who said it; it's your time and love that she'll remember. She doesn't need the trips to theme parks, or holidays. They aren't always good anyway. A mother who'll bake buns with you is far more valuable.

personally I think time spent with them doing everyday things and activities which are fun and child led, I don't remember things just happy times, conversations etc

sorry by things I mean material goods, presents and so on

Scrap books and journals. Not being anything like me!!

Send her to Hogwarts

Chill the fuck out.

(sorry, it needed emphasis and I am too inarticulate to find it another way)

I don't remember much about what I did with my mother in my childhood. She was a SAHM, and a good mum, so I'm sure we did lots of different things that were fun. However, I have no particular memories that stick out from when I was small (I do have a crap memory BTW!).

But what I do remember is a feeling. And that feeling was one of being loved, being safe, and being happy. That is the best thing you can give your DD IMO, and I'm sure you are already by the sound of it.!

This site might give you some ideas www.magicalchildhood.com/

I am awe of what she manages to do for her dc's. Wish I were that dedicated. We can only try our best!

I was that dedicated. sorry for grammar!

Spend lots of time with her, not lots of money.

I once heard a proverb that has stayed with me always, especially in my relationships with DH and DS. "Time is the currency of love". So true! .