How can I give my dd a ''magic'' childhood?

[poshsinglemum]

Especially as a single mum on a low income.

In your opinion what makes a childhood ''magic'' or good. I guess having a good dad would help but as dd don't have this I want to overcompensate make up for it and make sure that I don't mess her up.

I hug her and kiss her a lot and I try not to loose my cool. What else?

I think there is another good saying, which is, 'spend twice the time and half the money on your children' or something along those lines.

Make your own traditions and routines.

We have pancakes for brunch on a saturday.

I started a thread like this not so long ago, will try to find it

here

Wow that site is good , mama ! LOTS of holiday ideas there!!

HouseofCrazy - it is a great site. I just feel rather inadequate for my dc's when I read how much fun that family appear to have.

Even though its American I like it a lot too - I must be going soft in my old age

I agree with Dixie: make youe own traditions.

Happy times that don't cost a lot:

Special meals - yummy breakfasts, "dinner parties" for the two of you or with Grandparents.

TV dates - happily watching Briatin's got Talent together with some munchies.

Mum and daughter pamper time - nail painting etc.

Trips to the library.

Crafts - making cards and presents, flower pressing.

Car-booting - buying and selling.

Other Mumsnutters will hate me for this, but I can handle the flaming...

MacDonalds. Once every now and then. And drive through - you don't have to endure the restaurants. I swear dd2 is never happier than with a happy meal box filled with fishfingers, fruit and most importantly, a toy.

That to her is magic. To me it's a pretty ghastly box of crap, and I try not to think about it. But to her it gives her a lovely warm feeling and something to look forward to.

Other things they love are: drawing and colouring, helping out in the garden - we grow our own veg too, (offsets all the Macdonalds crap they eat ), dressing up, imaginary games with pirates and Barbies, even sleeping together or swapping beds some nights! Scooter rides, bike rides, my six year old loves to go out running with me. Swimming, park, day trips to the beach (doesn't have to be expensive - we live within 90 mins of some of Devons's loveliest beaches. Country walks, ice creams on a bench. Fish and chips out of the wrapper. Singing in bed at night together, BOOKS (once they learn to read on their own they can unlock their own magical worlds - books like the Secret Garden, Alice, A Little Princess, Little Women etc)...

Of course there are days when I can't entertain them, in fact I'm crap at entertaining, and they have to go and get creative, but they are really happy doing their own thing most of the time. Some days they get bored and cross, and that is just life really. The best childhoods are the ones where the magic is not forced, and where kids are allowed to just get on and be kids. My best memories are of the most mundane things, but they gave me a sense of security and rhythm, and if you can provide that security, and bring them up in a relaxed house, the 'magic' will take care of itself.

The simple things are the best...with my son i make tents,bake,cinema day(at home)his fav. treasure hunts and hide and seek,collecting leaves/stones.
My mum (who passed away 2 years ago) was very short of money as a single parent of 3 many years ago (30+),and she was often sad and as a child i remember wishing she was happier and worrying about her.i asked her about this as an adult and she told me she always worried about money and not being able to give us enough...i wished she just had more fun with us,its not about money for children.

One of my best memories from childhood was going shopping with my mum and sister and getting soaked (No indoor shopping centres then). We got home put the gas fire on, snuggked up in front of it and had hot chocolate and crumpets.

No idea why but it is a really happy memory of feeling safe and warm. Keep it simple and love is the main thing

erm we snuggled

oh ample- that's one of my favourite childhood memories too. Getting soaked shopping then getting home, putting the fire on and having crumpets with the rain still pouring down outside!

Things I remember - singing in the car, making up silly stories, funny traditions like sweets at fixed points on the long car journey to my grandparents, Dad coming home with totally random treats (usually tiny things bought second hand, but things we hadn't asked for or expected), and doing jobs like decorating together.

The big thing was that we had a book called something like 'the childrens book of Britain'. Mum had drawn the extents of where we could choose from, and then we were allowed a short list of three each to visit in the summer holidays - mum then chose two to go to. The amount of time we spent talking about these, weighing up the merits etc was amazing

I tell her I love her and do the best for her I can.

One of my best childhood memories was being woken up at 5am and driving to the Isle of Wight.

It was magical because I had no idea we were going. It was a wonderful surprise.

saintly are you my sister?

People often think I'm mad because I like the rain, but I think it specifically relates to the that warm post rain crumpet eating feeling.

Help her, above all, to grow up to like herself in a thoughtful way and to be strong if she ever gets bullied.

i gave mine lots of love and attention and i think they had a fairly magical time some of the time but possibly it was too lovey and magical and when they got out in the big hard world of school they werent ready for coping with kids who hadnt experienced all this lovey stuff and attention and it knocked them for six. My 6 yr old DS couldnt get his head round it and couldnt even tell me about it till years later cos he didnt know what was wrong and he thought it was all his fault.

Like someone else said, knowing you are there for her always and that she is totally loved by you is wonderful and gives a good foundation. Telling her that everyone has good in them somewhere when they are little, and to look for it first always before judging them. But always to tell you if she's confused and unsure about anything. If any kids are cruel, maybe someone was unkind to them. Teach her to be a good reliable friend to her peers. That way she starts out from strength with an understanding of people right from the start.

As others have said, time and love is what they really need - but it is always easy to give advice rather than follow it through. My DD wanted to play rummy with me at 8am this morning - she had only got up early because a friend was being dropped off early, but I had just mucked out the kitchen for an hour and sat down with a brew and the paper - so I said no. However, my DD who is 10 is way too old for her years sometimes and often comments on her life and how much she loves it. One thing she often mentions is smells - baking, wet dog, boiling dishcloths - and how they make her feel warm and happy. I know what she means as I often get transported back to my childhood by certain smells.

this thread is making me quite sad actually - it's showing me that - I'm too busy, I'm always on a diet, I always want a tidy house and that i work far too much

Sweetheart don't be sad, you just sound normal! i think ive been on a diet on and off for ever. All this magical advice sounds great but i wonder whether we all managed it or whether its what we feel we wish we had done. Do your best, none of us can do more than that, and its nice to be tidy. You can find things quicker when youre late for school.