surrounded by "princesses" please help!

[bigtalksmalltalk]

My eldest daughter is almost 2.5 yrs old and the other mothers I know are starting with the pink princesses, dolls, spangly shoes etc etc - are all women doing this? Please tell me that there are women out there who don't want this for their daughters? They have also started saying how everything is pretty and beautiful and starting the process whereby their daughters will judge themselves by their apperance (I never hear people saying such things to boys!). I keep quiet about my views as it is not for me to comment but I loathe this stuff so much!

Spangle, yours is an interesting point. One reason I left academia (arts) was the horribley (to my mind), aggressively male environment where all that mattered was churning out enough dross to get a professorship before anyone else.

Re. women in science: I personally think that single sex schools are very, very good for girls from this pov. I went to one from 5-18, and there was never even a tiny hint of science not being for women. In fact, it was quite the reverse. The most popular A level subjects when I was there were Chemistry, Maths, Further Maths, Physics and English. I was something of an oddity for doing all arts...

I haven't got a dd but have a ds who is just 7 mths. When we found out we were having a boy, DP was so pleased and already choosing the 'boy' type presents to buy him and looking at the trucks and joinery play equipment to buy. (DP and FIL are both builders)

No matter how much I say he might not even be interested in that stuff, and want to play with other toys that are seen as more 'girly' he won't see it that way.

He isn't bothered about our DS being In the same type of profession as him, but I know it's important for him to have the same relationship he has with his own dad. Like all that father/ son bond building stuff outside like his own dad did when he was a child. Maybe as a hobby.

As for 'girly' girl princess stuff. Personally I'm not and never have been into it but if we had a DD I know my DP would revel in it. Where as I would tone it down slightly.

Mabe it is the children themselves who are moving into the pink, pretty and sparkly stuff. It is very natural for many little girls (and little boys for that matter) to do so, and IT IS NOT WRONG!

So long as they ar letting their little girls enjoy themselves and chose things they like, and not refusing them other stuff, I can't see the problem.

likewise - if your DD stars on wanting thats tuff, will you refuse her? or let her be her own person?

I am 37y. I remember there being loads of Barbie and Sindy out there. I remember my grandad making me a Barbie sized doll house and wooden furniture painted pinks and purples. I remember having baby dolls dressed in frilly outfits and being pushed in a dolls pram. I have photos of me dressed in pink and in pretty sparkly dresses and pretty little ribbons in my hair. I don't think it is that new an obsession TBH.

Oh - and pricess dresses DO come in other colours. Take the Disney princesses to start with:

Cinderella - blue
Belle - yellow gold
Snow white - blue and red
Ariel - green/purple or white

It is really only Sleeping Beauty who wears pink.

So, IME, princess dresses are very much readily available in lots of colours - and I am 99% sure I have seen these dresses in Hamleys too.

I absolutely hate all the pink / princess stuff too. We are definitely a gender unstereoptyped household. There is difference between a 2 year old choosing a pink & sparkly outfit to wear & a parent buying a 'pink' variant of an otherwise gender neutral toy eg Vtech walker, Fisher Price zebra etc for a baby that can not make a decision.

I find it offensive & ludricous.

I also think there is a link to the early sexualisation clothes & toys now available.

I get that too booboo - how is a 3YO 'cool'?

I can see what the OP means and I think I'd struggle with a girl because I loathe all that girly stuff (am very much a tomboy). Interestingly I heard one of my friends telling her DS to be gentle with a little girl he and my DS were playing with because 'girls are more fragile than boys'. I had to bite my tongue hard!

I agree that it is ludicrous to make blue/pink versions of gender neutral toys but when people are making comments about boys having all the fun toys such as gender neutral sports stuff, lego and science kits, you can see why the manufactures do it.

I do think that 30 years ago being a little girl really wasn't about everything being pink. I remember having two identical dresses, one pink and one blue and really not being bothered which one I wore - not because I was particularly tomboyish, just because there wasn't all the fuss about it then.

Gender stereotyping does bother me, for example the way all the housework toys are marketed to girls. Children do notice marketing and what's expected of them. You can buy the toy oven etc. for a boy, of course. The best way of countering those particular stereotypes is probably if boys see Daddy cooking and doing housework, tbh.

I think this may be led by the child - some DC seem to like sparkly things, others don't. I don't think it's the parents. My DD had plenty of sparkly presents but showed no interest in them - much prefers animals to dolls. No amount of persuasion would put her in a fairy dress.

one of my dd's eyes is bigger than the other one. not a huge difference, but enough to notice. i started calling her pretty girl, beautiful daughter etc on purpose, so she wouldnt stress about it. and she hasnt, even though she has noticed this difference herself by now.
would very rarely call boys handsome, or gorgous.