Learning to drive driving you mad?

[ShowOfHands]

So here it is, a learning to drive thread.

I think there are a few of us. I predict much swearing. Is it only me that goes one step forwards, only to go 8 steps backwards?

I'm SOH, have been learning for the grand total of a fortnight. DH is teaching me. My aim is to be driving by the end of September when dd is supposed to start nursery and they change the driving test again.

I live rurally (very rurally) and rely on dh for lifts everywhere. Even a supermarket trip is reliant upon him being home from work. And as he's a police officer, he's never home on time, works long hours and as a consequence, we're fairly isolated.

I am trying to focus on the new lease of life for us.

I don't have a provisional licence yet (still waiting for it) but live on private land with tracks of about 3 miles so am driving round a farm atm.

I'll kick off the swearing so there's no illusion of standing on ceremony. How the buggery feck do you look in 3 mirrors, one windscreen, at the speedometer and not cry all at the same time? Answers on a postcard.

Hey, I rebooked for the 17th of Aug, then did what onefishtwofish suggested and now have my test at 0810 on the 14th July.

Apart from my mirrors the rest of the drive was really good. I did a perfect turn in the road and parallel park!

Good luck for the re-test Virtual. I have a real issue with forgetting about left hand mirrors so will learn from your experience.

Have been practing a little today, and planning a weekend of driving round the town! Sure my 3yr DD will love it

VirtualPA, sorry to hear that. As PC said, there's not much one can say that will make you feel better but at least you know it was only one thing and, as bad as it sounds, now you'll definitely check every single mirror next time Glad to hear you managed to find another date soon. Well done on the manoeuvres!

Onefish and Katya, welcome to the thread!

Waves to everyone else.

I did some driving today and it was pretty good. DH made the mistake to try and show me something, needless to say a few seconds later he was yelling "Gauchita!" as I was driving towards a tree! God knows why he (and I) thought I would manage to do those two things at the same time I wasn't near it or anything but I was definitely driving towards it

Virtual. How gutting to fail on something so straightforward. But if that's the only point you failed on it sounds like you're doing brilliantly - easy to rectify, and you clearly have all the skills you need to pass. So welll done!

Ive just got back from my lesson.

I did a perfect reverse around a corner! Yay me.

Instructor took me through a village that has a stupid little bridge over the canal, it has lights so I slowed down as I was approaching it (it was on red) all the while thinking fuck fuck fuck I hate uphill starts and then it changed to green so was elated until the buggering driver infront stalled his car and made me stall, he then arsed around for ages then screeched off and the light went onto fucking red! So I had to wait balancing out the clutch and accelerator with a bus behind me!! Was not happy!
Also at a roundabout just as it was clear to go fucking pedestrians walk out in front of me!! Do they have a fucking deathwish???

Rant over. Sorry about the swearing. Takes me a while to calm down after a lesson!

Sorry about the test Virtual, good luck for next time, now you will be extra vigilant with mirrors and will fly through it!

Eek. Really bad mock test. Teacher stopped me half way through to give me a chance to calm down! He said I was driving okay, just my judgement was totally off! Also messed up 3 attempts at parrell parking.

Rest of it was okay, until the last moment where a steam powered tractor came round the corner being overtaken by a stream of traffic. Nearly drove us into the hedge.

Oh god.

Have a pile of mock test routes to do over the weekend with DH, so hopefully that will help.

Hi all,

Turkey, flipping tractor! Glad to hear you'll be able to do lots of driving with DH this weekend, every single opportunity to practise helps

Amazing, yay!! Well done you. Oh I hate having to stop at lights on an uphill, it's SCARY! Yesterday I stalled at one, managed to restart the car and move on quickly but that would have been a fail anyway How insane to have pedestrians crossing your path in a roundabout! You'd think the "L" would scare them for their lives apparently not...

Sugar, hope your lesson this evening goes well. I think someone else mentioned this tip for reversing round a corner, lowering the mirrors and going reaaaaaally slowly so as to be able to rectify any potential mistake. I find the lowered mirrors quite helpful, well, more than if they were in the normal position

Waves to all

I've given up.

Oh, no PC, what happened?
Don't want to bug you, but if you want to vent a bit, come and tell us. (Un-MN hug)

Went out on the road for the first time. It was an unmitigated disaster. Apparently, it's international step out in front of a learner day (woman with ipod not looking. I screamed with fright). She looked just in time and moved the frick out the road.

I just couldn't do it. What did you do on your first go on the road? It was too much. A roundabout, several junctions, a hill start, a very busy route with lots happening (vans unloading, people crossing between traffic, cars waiting for spaces, cars parked on the side of the road).

I feel like a total and utter failure. I had to stop the car and swap places with dh, trembling and crying. It's just too hard.

How am I ever, ever going to cope with it?

At this point in time I am NOT going in a car ever again.

PC, sorry you had such a hard day I in no sense intend to preach as I'm on the same boat as you and the rest of the ladies here, but I remember the first time I went on a real road and it was bloody terrifying.

Some people really don't give a cr*p you're a learner and just do the stupidest things, which to any driver can mean just a stop and start but for us is a near panic attack due to the sheer surprise, a stall (best case scenario a stop) and then a terribly slow start as the only thing you brain focuses on is the people behind you, what they're thinking, how long it's taking you to start again, the fact that you've stalled and it's just too much to cope. I remember screaming to DH, poor man he has had to bear them all, and just swearing with anger, it's so frustrating at first, and again, fecking scary.

I really really understand the impotence and anger you feel right now, all of us can, but I do think you should give it another try, it gets easier bit by bit. I can promise you, it does get less scary.

I'm sure your DH will agree and he'll take you out again (maybe to a less busy road?) and you'll do better

Sorry this got long, again, no preaching intended, just trying to cheer you up a bit and give you some support. Be kind to yourself and have a nice glass of wine, assuming you like it (another un-MN hug).

Oh Gauchita, you're so lovely

I'm teetotal but I might revise this during this whole learning to drive process.

We've just been out again. Not far, just a few miles round the village, couple of hill starts, two junctions and some right and left hand turns. Passed only 5 or 6 cars, a dog walker, a cyclist and two motorcycles. Was like climbing Everest.

When does it stop seeming so mammoth as a task? Am drained.

PC, glad you're feeling a bit better Well done on going out again and facing it!

Oh cyclists are hard, esp. when they start swerving onto the middle of the road. What I find the worst, though, is the whole parked cars on both sides scenario and you have to look for oncoming cars and passing places, I hate that.

It's the same as when you go on really narrow country roads (loads of those here, and shockingly the speed limit there is 60! WTF?), where only one car can actually fit. I find that terrifying and, as you say, draining.

Thank you. I have had so much earl grey today. Medicinal obviously.

We live very rurally so the route out from the farm is the narrow roads you describe with the 60 limit, blind corners and humped bridges. And people race down them expecting nobody to be there. Am also struggling with the sun atm. Am stupidly short so the shade thing doesn't block anything. Feel half mad, half blind and dehydrated by the end of the drive.

Those are the roads, yes, horrible horrible roads. I really can't understand how the speed limit is that high when you can hardly see around the bends until you're about 2 metres from them

I don't know if this happens to you but I still feel that if I open the windows completely too much noise comes in so I need to close them almost completely, cue all of us boiling inside the car in this heat

PC. The first few times out driving with DH on real proper roads were awful. Could you not map out a route of quiet roads, with reasonable speed limit and maybe a roundabout and a couple of junctions. For the first few times do that route until confident and then progress to busier roads?

DH drives a BMW, so before I bought my little 206 I was out and about in that. Got zero respect from other drivers then!!

Poor you PC. Hate rural roads too. We're on the edges of the Cotswolds and dread dealing with tiny twisty roads with lorrys doing 60mph.

Off to go do some test routes now with DH. Who can't read a map to save himself, so could be a very stressful experience indeed!

Oh the opening the window thing. That's me. I open it because I'm roasting and sweating and panting a bit (like a dog really but less cute) but then I can't hear anything (like the pounding of my heart) and it's too much stimulus and I close it. And then I'm a dog again. DH sits and laughs.

I'm just peed off with myself atm. DH had an accident last week and spent the day in A&E on a spinal board (his road bike versus a car). He has a broken bone, a dislocated finger, several cuts and scrapes and neck muscles in constant spasm. He's on a lot of drugs including diazepam which means he can't drive. And it's trapped us effectively. It's just highlighted why I need to be able to drive.

And to cap it all off, this morning the cat urinated on our bed. The duvets/sheets etc stink, I can't get the smell out of the mattress and I've run out of biological powder. Now how are going to get to the supermarket? DH physically can't drive. The route there is 5 roundabouts (never done a roundabout before) and the supermarket is always rammed on a Sunday.

I feel useless today.

PC, sorry to hear about your DH, glad he's OK. I love cats but boy is it a mess when they do that sort of thing. Do you have any friends nearby who could help? Maybe take you to the supermarket or fetch some things for you? I'd love to be near and be able to help, I so know what that impotence feels like Where are you? Maybe we are near.

Turkey, hope you enjoy your practice today.

Amazing, hi!

Waves to all

Thanks Gauchita. Sadly we've nobody near. My friend who is local is on holiday and my parents/ILs are both about an hour away in different directions. My parents stocked up the fridge last week while dh was in hospital and we're sorted for food etc but hadn't forseen the cat choosing to wee on the bed. It's because the windows upstairs are open. One of the cats scaled the house and came through the window without us knowing and obviously as the windows are all open, the doors are shut. Trapped cat = wee on bed. I love them but dh is considering turning them into slippers right now. Well, not right now. The diazepam means he's largely unconscious and when awake he can't function but once he's better I think it's on his list.

It's a nice day for driving I think today. Sunny, clear, quiet roads probably. If you're not near the coast.

I'm in Norfolk btw. Always assume nobody is local. Don't think there's much call for a translator in Norfolk. Well actually that's a lie. There's a big call for it but assume you aren't trained in Norfolk to Ordinary English.

I could test you... translate the following...

he ye sin a bishy barny bee?

mawther, give the bor sum cushies

Dunna ye mob me te muckwash

I gwen naawe morla

It's utter nonsense isn't it? I find the nod and smile approach is best when confronted with a Norfolk dialect tbh.

I can't blame him for putting the cats on his list, cat wee is vile.

If the day is quiet maybe you can give it a try with DH as co-pilot? I know you mentioned the 5 roundabouts, hope they're not big complicated ones, otherwise I can't blame you for not daring to face them, they can be bloody nerve-racking.

Oh I definitely can't translate that Nodding and smiling sounds like a good strategy. We're in Huddersfield and when I first arrived I nodded a LOT, as I couldn't understand the northern accent 100% I'm more used to it now so the nodding has diminished

Gutted we're not anywhere near, otherwise we'd be more than glad to help.

Huddersfield is a strange one isn't it? I went to uni in Sheffield and was v confused for a while (even though I'm actually from Derbyshire so Northern accents aren't lost on me). Do they say 'while' to mean 'until' in Huddersfield. I had a student job in TK Maxx while studying and the shifts were 6 while 4.

I went to see a folk singer recently called Flossie Malavialle. She is (obviously) French but lives in Darlington. She therefore speaks English in a North East accent. It is very, very, very strange. And fascinating. Wonderful singer though.

The 5 roundabouts aren't complicated in themselves (if you're really interested google 'postwick park and ride', that's the first roundabout if you have streetview and then you follow the A1042 I think towards Dussindale). The main problem is that the first two roundabouts are feeding people onto and taking people off the main A road in Norfolk (the ring road round the city) respectively. So people drive very, very fast round them. They aren't pootling, they're going somewhere. One of them has just changed how it works and people who don't realise get it very wrong. It has two lanes and feeds into one (really need to read the theory book for technical terms). It's a scramble to get into postion and people fight to be in front. Then the road has a bridge over it and lots of lorries use it, but to use it they need to drive down the middle of the road. So suddenly you can have a lorry in the middle of the road coming towards you so that it can fit under the bridge and then only 10 yards to the next roundabout. It's a roundabout every 30 seconds. Lots of gears and braking and concentration.

Sorry to be dull. I am v worked up about it. And dh needs more painkillers. I have to do it.