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Original poster

Emigrating advice needed.....LONG

71 replies

melissasmummy · 31/07/2005 14:16

Please can anyone offer some advice.

On Friday my DH came home from work & announced that he wants us all to emigrate to Australia. It would be easy for us to do as he lived there for 18 years & his parents, sister & aunts & uncles still live there.

I have some doubts but mainly I can see what a great move it would be for us. Our DD (2 years old) would have a better life & much more family there as.......

My mum hasn't made any effort to see her since she was born (I don't talk to my mum, but she knows that I would not stop her seeing her grandaughter)

I haven't seen my brothers (2 of) for as long as I can remember. They just don't show an interest in the family as a whole.

My sister only lives 30 miles away, but doesn't make the effort to call or visit, although we do chat on a sporadic basis.

My Dad is currently in bad company which sees all sorts dropping into his house at all times of the day & night, smoking puff & drinking etc etc.

This isn't the picture I had in my mind of my "ideal family" when I was carrying DD.

My husband is unhappy in his job and a recent holiday to Australia just proved how much he misses his family.

We are also worried for the current state of the country & not sure if we want to bring our child up here anymore.

On the other hand, we would have to live for a while with his parents. They are both retired & with me being a SAHM I would find the lack of privacy suffocating. The holiday was hard enough & on one occasion I heard them slating me for my mothering skills & his mum constantly tells me I am overweight (which I am, but don't need it shoved in my face).

It get very hot there & I really don't like the heat all that much! I walk alot, but to have to walk in the heat they get there would kill me!

I know the reasons for not going seem trivial next to the reasons to go, but I just can seem to see things that clearly!

I don't think DH understands my doubts, he doesn't really see why I am struggling with this!

Please help? Any advice?

OP posts:
bobbybob · 03/08/2005 04:05

Ds can count to 5 in Maori and knows what to do at a Marae, he has also seen birds and plants he would never see in the UK. We live near a forest, a wetlands, the beach, a volcano crater, plains, skifields, braided rivers...

Might be a bit light on history but we have geography and natural history. Oh and Robbie Williams came once!

Fernbeth · 03/08/2005 08:53

Stripey, In response to your question, I am in temporary accom in Sunbury Middlesex but we are looking to rent in Farnham when our belongings arrive at the end of August.

lewislewis · 03/08/2005 19:47

You are probably right - living permanently in Oz sounds wonderful. I must say that when I said I drag ds to galleries I do not do it because I want him to get interested in art or anything like that, it is MEEE, I just need a couple of hours a week to get those old brain cells going, he is normally asleep in his pram, finally some peace. I envied you all today, walking the dirty streets of London looking at grim overpriced properties and then reading school reports to find a half decent school. All very stressfull. Our plan is to go to Sydney where there is a lot of cultural stuff to do, if I feel like it - of course when we were there I did not go to one exhibition, we sat on the beach and read our books. Wonderful.

scully · 10/08/2005 12:57

Fernbeth, will you be renting in Farnham, Surrey?

Fernbeth · 18/08/2005 15:10

Yes Scully, We have found a place to rent in Farnham Surrey and move mid next week. I have posted a note on Mumsnet Meet Ups so I can try to meet some mums and find out about any mum groups, good kiddy stuff etc. Do you know much about Farnham...are you from around there?

hannahsaunt · 21/08/2005 12:16

Good you for you giving it a go Melissasmummy. We are in QLD for a year (been here a month) and I know already there are things that are going to be hard to give up - big things like the space, the house prices, the things to do with small children (we are never in - gymbaroo, singing, gymnastics, swimming etc and there isn't enough time for them to do other things that we would like them to do too - real wealth of opportunity even though we are in a comparatively small town (I think) of 150,000 people), and most of all - ds1's school.

At least you WILL be near family - that is something we miss and in some part just because we it means we don't get time out just the two of us. It'll be nice for your children to get to know more of their extended family in a more normal way than just holidays.

There are things that I miss (friends and family go without saying), principally the BBC but we are grateful for broadband. The Today programme doesn't sound right in the evening though!

Culture - well can't say that ds1 (5 in Oct) would be getting a dance lesson a week from the equivalent of Scottish Ballet at home (which he does here!) and last week I was out seeing a fantastic production of The Two Gentlemen of Verona - I would probably have had to travel 120 miles to Edinburgh/Glasgow to see that at home so it's less of a wasteland in the hinterland than I so rudely anticipated! I think you're also more inclined to seize the opportunties that come if you think they are possibly limited.

And we don't have wild budgies, parrots, wallabies or turtles on our doorstep at home... try it and see - always best to take the opportunity and know that you have a get out if it all goes pear-shaped.

Original poster
melissasmummy · 22/08/2005 08:14

UPDATE, we have hired an Immigration Consultant to help us leaf thru all the forms etc. He thinks we stand the best cahnce going for the "Former Resident Visa". We are waiting to hear from him as we only sent the cheque on Saturday.

He reckons on 2-4 months for processing, so I have added at least another 2, Very cynical of me!

OP posts:
Original poster
melissasmummy · 15/02/2006 11:14

ANOTHER UPDATE

We have just been granted our visa! We are off to Australia as soon as we can sell the house & get there! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Thanks to anyone who gave advice on this thread, anymore would be greatly appriciated!

OP posts:
eidsvold · 15/02/2006 12:54

wow - that is great news

Original poster
melissasmummy · 15/04/2006 14:11

ME AGAIN.............

First time buyers have offered just under the asking price...... & we have accepted!

OP posts:
eidsvold · 15/04/2006 14:35

Brilliant news Melissasmummy - booked the flights!?!?!

stripey · 15/04/2006 15:21

Good luck - hope it all works out for you.

Original poster
melissasmummy · 17/04/2006 14:58

We haven't booked the flights yet, can't until the equity is realsed on the house. BUT the SOLD sign has now gone up!

We are hoping to be there mid June-July.

Thanks for all your messages of support, they have been greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
lunavix · 17/04/2006 16:11

well done melissasmummy :)

I need to add my two bits worth as this is somethign I've been thinking about :) I lived in perth for 6 years when my parents moved there when I was 13. As I moved out, and got a job, I missed the UK and how 'busy' it is here, how you can go anywhere and do anything! So I gave up my chance of having permanent residence (I was married, but it wasn't working out - yes a young bride!) So we split up and I moved back to UK.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't regret it as such. I'm married to a great guy, we have a lovely son and a baby on the way. BUT I miss life in australia soooooo much. Like the working day feels shorter because the days are so much longer. The fact that it's light and sunny nearly all year round means you feel in a better mood (what's that disorder that makes people miserable in winter? I think all brits have that!) and as for my busy life I craved.. the kids have impaired that a little! Plus I couldn't afford to live in London if I wanted to (which I don't) and it turns out there's more things 24 hours in Perth than there are where I am! (One such thing, a place called Fast Eddies... I don't know how many times I've been there at 3 in the morning for a strawberry surprise sundae!)

I'd do ANYTHING to get that lifestyle again, but dh is close to his family and I know he wouldn't want to leave. Plus I don't know if revoking my previous application will have messed up future chances anyways. The heat sucks, but hey you do get used to it, just like you get used to it being bloody freezing here (over there, it will be 15deg centigrade and you'll wear a COAT it feels that cold!)

I'd say to anyone who can, do it. My only experience is of perth, but I'd be there in a heartbeat.

expatinscotland · 17/04/2006 16:18

Good for you, MM! If I were in a similar situation I'd be out of here like a shot.

SueW · 17/04/2006 17:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

jenkel · 17/04/2006 17:46

We are applying for our visa for Australia. We are not planning to emigrate, but try for 2 years and see what we think, we have a 2 and 3 year old. We have been on 3 extended holidays to Australia and my Godmother lives there as well as 2 cousins, DH's dad lives in NZ.

Half of me wants to go and the other half is terrified, I'm very close to my Mum and we are reasonable close to MIL. But, I feel that if we have a chance we ought to give it a go, I would hate to look back and say 'if only'. My Mum has had quite a few extended holidays to Oz also and my MIL is getting prepared to have some long holidays, she owns her own business and is approaching retirement or at least a stage when she wants to slow down at work a bit.

But saying all that I would still miss them and friends, and my girls friends. But still think that you need to experience as much as possible in life.

Original poster
melissasmummy · 18/04/2006 12:02

Thanks for your posts. Some really positive stuff to get me thru the first weeks. I am in no doubt that I will love it. DH lived there for 16 yrs, so he knows what to expect, DD will be fine after she has settled in. I have had 2 long holidays there, so kinda know what's going on. My SIL is a similar age & I have met her friends, so shoudl be fine. I plan to get involved in lots of playgroups (opps, Kindies) over there to meet people & maybe, just maybe get a part time job which will help too. (Only maybe on that one as I know I will miss DD, SO, may even make it harder, not sure yet).

I am terrified in a way too. Giving up alot to do this, but dh has been for 17 years with me, so I feel like it's the least I can do. Plus the thought of the outdoors life, when we have been stuck in for days on end due to foul weather, just appeals more & more!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 18/04/2006 12:35

stop it! you're making us jealous Wink!

eidsvold · 18/04/2006 13:58

we arrived here 2 years ago this June and don't regret a second of it. Okay so it is home for me BUT i know dh does not regret leaving the UK for anything

Original poster
melissasmummy · 18/04/2006 14:51

expat, I could do you a deal on a package holiday at hotel melissasmummy!

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