Why do I struggle with the thought of having a cleaner?

[Flightattendant]

I deliberately didn't put this in aibu as I know it could get heated if I did...I don't want that to happen.

But for a while I have been feeling socially and perhaps ethically uncomfortable with the idea of people having their house cleaned by someone else.

I would really appreciate a discussion about this from all angles, because part of me feels I must be being ridiculous, there are good reasons for this situation etc but another part finds it quite objectionable...

I know several people who do employ a cleaner, and know that they also struggle with the concept in different ways - and have also taken in this kind of work for a friend of the family so have seen it from both sides in a sense...

but I have never, and would never, want someone (especially a similar-aged person) to come into my home and do the kind of jobs I don't particularly enjoy, for whatever reason - unless I was physically incapable of maintaining a basic standard of hygiene myself.

Can anyone help me sort this out in my head before I go all communist about it please and start to rant at strangers

Talk about over-analysing. Cleaners as a left/right wing issue? Only on Mumsnet.

You need/want someone to clean your house. You can afford to pay them to do so. Where's the big dilemma?

I think its quite simple really.

Houses get dirty, dust accumulates, windows get smeared, crumbs drop on floors, food splashes on counter tops, pets shed fur, sheets get sweated on. There is no shame in anyone else seeing the evidence of this - it is the same for every dwelling place the world over.

However, we do have shame over excrement, sweat and menstrual blood. Even though we know it is a fact of life, it is something extremely private, which we even keep hidden from our own partners.

When I had a cleaner, I always cleaned the loo before she came and asked her never to clean the loo.

Similarly, I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else going through our laundry baskets.

I absolutely could not ever surrender to a complete domestic handover (such as when you have a Nanny or housekeeper) but for the times when you are in effect saying "here is this fairly straightforward and inoffensive job to do, which I don't have the time or inclination to do myself, would you like money for it?" - where is the problem?

Flight - I have a zillion things to ebay which I cannot be arsed to do myself. I am considering trying to find an ebay agent. Do you feel the same way about that scenario?

Not exactly the mark of a civilised country where educated people rely on the destitution of others to pick up their poo. Tis the ultimate insult. But cleaning, laundry, everything else -- bring it on

Oh dear that sounds like a at using the destitution of others for laundry.. it isn't -- I'm sure you understand me..

I didn't mean it as a leftwing/right wing issue more as a classical socialist not exploting the working class thing. Means of production and all that. I have a politics degree though so most things come down to politics with me!

I have a cleaner, but before she started I did question whether I would like having one. Now she has been cleaning my house for 1 year I can't imagine her not being here, its lovely not to spend all weekend thinking about cleaning when I could be spending time with my DCs. Before she comes round I do do a quick check of all the toilets to make sure they are flushed and any unpleasnt debris is cleaned away as I don't think she shoudl have to see or deal with my family's poos! I also have a complete tidy up of the house so all she does is dust, hoover, mop floors and clean bathrooms, but it does give me my weekends back.

I had to explain to my DSSs that, if they wanted me to wash their clothes, they had to ensure that they were the right side out in the laundry basket - I wasn't going to be fishing around peeling inside-out pants and socks off jeans, it was far too yucky to expect anyone to do that for them.

There is a certain sort of minimum (leaving the loo without skid marks, turning your pants right side out, not leaving toothpaste all over the basin) that everyone needs to learn to do for themselves. After that, bring on the cleaners!