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Original poster

Why do I struggle with the thought of having a cleaner?

82 replies

Flightattendant · 31/01/2010 13:08

I deliberately didn't put this in aibu as I know it could get heated if I did...I don't want that to happen.

But for a while I have been feeling socially and perhaps ethically uncomfortable with the idea of people having their house cleaned by someone else.

I would really appreciate a discussion about this from all angles, because part of me feels I must be being ridiculous, there are good reasons for this situation etc but another part finds it quite objectionable...

I know several people who do employ a cleaner, and know that they also struggle with the concept in different ways - and have also taken in this kind of work for a friend of the family so have seen it from both sides in a sense...

but I have never, and would never, want someone (especially a similar-aged person) to come into my home and do the kind of jobs I don't particularly enjoy, for whatever reason - unless I was physically incapable of maintaining a basic standard of hygiene myself.

Can anyone help me sort this out in my head before I go all communist about it please and start to rant at strangers

OP posts:

belgo · 01/02/2010 08:02

Flight - I have been trying to understand this thread, and it seems to me that you struggle with the idea because of the assumption that people do not like to clean therefore cleaners do not like their jobs.

I don't think that's necessarily true. There are far worse jobs then cleaning jobs! I wouldn't mind being a cleaner but due to the state of my house, I don't think anyone would employ me.

belgo · 01/02/2010 08:03

I think being a cleaner does require a level of skill, which I obviously do not have. I adored that cleaning woman Stephanie on TV, several years ago on daytime BBC. She was very good at what she did.

Original poster

Flightattendant · 01/02/2010 10:00

Hmm..I really don't think it is a male/female issue for me.

Those other jobs are more one-off, not a regular thing that deals with basic waste/mess created by everyone day to day...I suppose it may be a matter of where ones personal boundaries lie as to how responsible we each feel for our own mess.

For example, those of us who try to recycle, and clear the pavement in front of our houses of snow...and clear up after our own dogs. We all have varying degrees of personal responsibility re those particular things.

And I have come to the conclusion that some people's are different to mine, in various ways, and I probably have some boundaries that are way beyond others' in terms of other things...such as how much of a health hazard my home needs to be before I will clean it!

Equally people who clean for money will be happy to do certain things but not others. Which is fair enough.

But I do see my personal surroundings and mess as MY responsibility alone to sort out, make habitable and clean up - and it is a priority for me, ie I don't see any other 'work' or such that I do as being more important - though I understand that for those who do have important jobs this is different, and sometimes also other things may be more 'urgent'.

There may not be enough time in the day.
But it would feel wrong to me not to be able to sort out my own mess.

Thankyou all for helping me explore this issue; as I thought, I am probably wrong about it! But am glad that there are others who feel as I do, anyway.

OP posts:

upandrunning · 01/02/2010 10:43

Flight cleaner NOW!

GaGaOohLaLa · 01/02/2010 10:46

Cripes. I don't see anything remotely unethical about having a cleaner. I had one exactly my age (though she had DCs in their 20s - she started as a teen!!) before we moved. She became a very, very good friend.

FWIW (which isn't much), I would never have paid anyone else to look after my DCs, though. Cleaners can iron and clean better than I can; nobody can look after my DCs better than I can!

staranise · 01/02/2010 12:05

Here's a solution:

Less time on MN = more time to clean!

Original poster

Flightattendant · 01/02/2010 12:17

Like tHAT would work

OP posts:

MaMight · 01/02/2010 13:21

This is all a bit patronising.

I have worked as a cleaner. Wouldn't have liked to think of people pitying me or feeling bad that was what I had to do. I chose to clean as it fitted in well with my other commitments at the time. It was certainly not the worst or the best job I have ever had. It was just a job.

Original poster

Flightattendant · 01/02/2010 13:32

I wouldn't feel bad for you, I have only felt bad for the people who look so miserable at the hospital.

Private cleaners usually seem Ok with it.

The thing I'd feel bad about is employing someone myself...hope that makes sense. The whole point is not to patronise.

OP posts:

belgo · 01/02/2010 13:40

Flight you say:

'But I do see my personal surroundings and mess as MY responsibility alone to sort out, make habitable and clean up'

but by paying someone to sort out the mess, you are still taking the responsibility to make sure it gets cleaned.

Don't worry about the hospital cleaners, just because they look miserable doesn't mean that they are!

upandrunning · 01/02/2010 13:44

You're overanalysing it.. having a cleaner doesn't turn you into a bad person and agonising over it doesn't make you a better person. You need a cleaner, so employ one. Honest, really, it's that simple

elliott · 01/02/2010 13:51

I don't have a problem with this at all. I think that being a cleaner in a private house is not at all a bad job, and certainly better than a lot of the potential alternatives. I actually think that paying other people to do things is one of the more ethical ways there are of using your money - better than buying stuff you don't need made in sweatshops in China, anyway. This way your money goes directly to someone in this country (perhaps for them to spend on stuff made in sweatshops in China, but more often for them to buy food and clothes and heat their house). Plus you can make sure you are a good employer and that the job is reasonably pleasant. Certainly I think our cleaner is better off working for us than if we (or any of her other clients) didn't employ her.
REally, its no different from getting your hair or nails or eyelashes done imo (or even, heaven forbid, a brazilian...). Or having your car serviced or house decorated - its all work you COULD potentially do yourself. What's different about dusting, vacuuming and ironing?

elliott · 01/02/2010 13:57

flightattendant, do you just clean up after yourself, or do you do it for your partner too? If so, surely you have already blown the 'its my mess therefore I have to clean it up' argument...at least a cleaner gets paid for cleaning up after other people.

Bonsoir · 01/02/2010 14:00

OP - I don't like having a cleaner in my home, in my personal space. I do use cleaners, but as little as I can reasonably get away with.

So I sympathise with not wanting one!

However, there is no moral argument either way. There is no moral superiority in doing your own cleaning (do you pull your own water up from the well? generate your own electricity? thought not ) though there are quite good ethical grounds for employing people to do low-skilled jobs when you can afford to do so .

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 01/02/2010 14:01

OK I think it is a male female issue.
I think as little girls it is taught that you grow up and run a home and part of that is the cleaning and washing etc as well as the shopping and childcare and cooking etc.

Over time things have mellowed a little but I think it really is assumed that the woman in the partnership will look after the home.

It then feels like shirking your responsibility by passing it onto someone else, like paying someone to do your homework at school.

However it is a business transaction, no one suggests it is lazy to get the man from Sainsbury's to go round and get my shopping and deliver it to me (because I don't want to do it) He gets paid and I get my shopping
Yet for some reason cleaning the home still fits into the guilt catagory.

As you may have guessed I have a cleaner, I think about her differently to the way my mum does, she is not a lesser person because she is a cleaner, she is treated with the respect I treat a plumber or electrician, she is doing a job I am not in a position to do at the moment and she get £9.00 an hour for it.

scaryteacher · 01/02/2010 14:02

I employ a cleaner. I don't feel guilty about it as I hate cleaning floors and bathrooms and she does it better than me. She has a degree in sports science, and was a customs official in Poland, but moved to Brussels with her husband.

It is good discipline for me as I clear clutter away before she comes, and make sure that ds has sorted his floor out in his room. She gets 10 euros an hour, fresh coffee, lunch, and is collected from and returned to the tram stop. I also give her a cash present at Christmas.

I am a disorganised person, and she helps to keep me straight. I don't spend a fortune on having my nails done or my legs waxed; she is my equivalent of that. She is good for my mental health.

PotPourri · 01/02/2010 14:05

I don't have a problem with employing cleaners - it's a job, just like being a doctor, teaching children, cleaning a hospital.

However, I don't like the idea of someone in my house touching my things. No idea why. I wouldnt' mind fairies coming in and keeping it tidy mind!!

Probably also got a worry about wasting money on something that I could do myself. Realise it is about whether you choose to spend that time doing cleaning versus playing with the children etc...

Bonsoir · 01/02/2010 14:05

I completely agree with scaryteacher that having a cleaner forces you to tidy up and therefore imposes some sort of external discipline upon your housekeeping so that you cannot keep postponing it.

Bonsoir · 01/02/2010 14:06

LOL PotPourri - my dream is to lie on the sofa reading a book while the fairies flit about doing the housework!

tartyhighheels · 01/02/2010 14:13

I have a cleaner and pay her £10 an hour - she pops out, smokes fags and we have a relaxed time, she is lovely. She needs the money, I need the help - Eternal Slattern

On the other hand, for years I did cleaning and it enable me to buy my first rental property by raising the deposit, I know have 2 and have an income from them which means I don't need to work and can be at home with my baby.

I have no problem doing cleaning, I don't feel degraded by it, it served a purpose, I met some lovely people and it gave me the opportunity to improve my life.

mnistooaddictive · 01/02/2010 14:28

I always justify it to my socialist principles as job creation and wealth sharing! I had the money and not enough time and they had the trime but wanted the money. I always paid a good wage and treated them as equals not servants and made sure I didn't leave anything particuarly nasty.
Just wish i could still afford it as my house is now always in good need of a clean!

Original poster

Flightattendant · 01/02/2010 16:21

Elliott - no partner, so not really applicable, though if I did have a partner I would probably sometimes clean certain things for them from love, and vice versa I suppose. Certainly not doing all the cleaning and not for money either.

I'm still struggling with this as a possibly right wing/left wing issue but am so duff at politics that I'm going to founder badly

OP posts:

Original poster

Flightattendant · 01/02/2010 16:22

It reminds me of South Africa, or what I was taught about the place whichw as that there was a class of people who owned houses, and another class who cleaned for them.

I am sure this used to involve exploitation when I was told about it but of course that was many years ago. Was that system justifiable? Even if there was no exploitation as such?

OP posts:

upandrunning · 01/02/2010 16:37

I used to live in India. I have no problem with cleaners but after living in India I have a solid belief that no one should clean up someone else's poo unless there is infirmity.

Original poster

Flightattendant · 01/02/2010 16:43

Ah. Now that is where we share a view! What led you to believe that may I ask?

OP posts:

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