What has happened to our ability to assess risk?

[flashingnose]

There have been a few threads on here that have got me thinking about how I assess risk, especially in relation to my children. I always thought I was easy going but certainly not neglectful, but I'm wondering whether I'm being ridiculously lax in some of the things I do (or don't do).

How real a threat is child abduction? Is it any more prevalent than when I was a child in the Seventies?

There are many instances where I take my eyes off my 4 and 6 year olds (not the 2 year old, she's far too random ) - is this really not the done thing any more?

Should I actively discourage my kids from being friendly to people?

I'm asking this mainly because I had my kids abroad (where things are much more relaxed - sigh) so I want to get up to speed with how people are thinking here and crucially whether they can back up any fears with facts, and also just to see what everyone else thinks....

Reminds me of the time we were being hassled by a bloke in Mombasa while we were waiting for a matatu (African mini bus) back towards our hotel. It was dark and we were feeling vulnerable (we had deliberately stayed late in Mombasa to go out for a meal and get a better feel for the "real" place).

After us telling him to go away loads of times, he eventually managed to tell us that we were waiting in the wrong place and that the bus stop for the matatus that went the direction of our hotel was further dwon the road .

mumoftreasures has just reminded me of an incident when i was 15.
I was walking home from my friends house as I did most evenings (not late at night)
I was walking past the playing fields which run alongside a main busy A road. This was at the time when the Yorkshire Ripper was at large, and the playing fields were where the first victim was found.
A man started following me. He walked so close behind me I could hear his breath. I started to walk quicker, so did he, I started to run, so did he.
I realised I couldn't go home because on this particular evening my parents were out (a very very very rare occasion) and the key was under a stone. The front garden is very secluded and so the time it would take me to get the key and try and get inside......well......
I continued walking/running another half mile to where I knew a shop/offlicence would still be open. There I could ask for help.
The man hovvered by the doorway as I told the shopkeeper what was happening and would she help me? could she call the police? She didn't understand English. She kept pointing at things for me to buy. I kept trying to explain to her, I knew I looked terror stricken, but she didn't understand. She pointed to the door, indicating for me to leave.
The man grinned at me as I ran passed him, and once again followed me. I ran to a friend's house. Her elder brother answered the door, my friend wasn't in. I burst into tears and told him what was going on. he and his friend immediately ran out after the guy who was still waiting for me round the corner. They didn't catch him.

There isn't a point to this tale. It could sway both ways I guess.
By the age of 15 I travelled a lot, either by myself or with friends. Travelled either within the town or 200 miles to London. I was very aware, sensible and intelligent. I guess you can't be prepared for some things. And stuff happens.

It's hard for children to be permitted to learn about risk nowadays. My neighbour is a nursery teacher. The council removed all the play equipment from their playground because it was 'too risky' for the children to play on in case they fell. Her school was then inspected and got a good report, except it was noted that children were not allowed to do any risk taking and/or assessment. You don't know whether to laugh or cry, really.

its a good questin flashing nose

i would never encourage my childrent obe friendly to people they did not know. you can be polite without being friendly.

the risk of abduction is a minimum risk - iam more frightened of road traffic and drugs.

i would not let my child wear a bikini. i this this is sexualysing very young children - i personally do not like it. i would not let my children run nekkid anywhere but in my house because there are some scik pervs who will keep that image in their mind when they go home to wank.

clear boundaries are good. my 12 year olds are not allowed off my cul de sac.

my 15 year old isnot allowed out of the town - (but is grounded so often it harly matters)but he must beinside the house for 10pm. he absolutly must come home for tea. that way on a saturday i have seen himleave at 10am, seen him return between 4-6 pm then seen him return again at 10.

it is a fine balance to strike and does largely depend on where youlive and your social set up whether you would send your 10 year old to the shop for instance.

i honestly think that some parents destroy their childrens social abilities becuase of their unproportional views

its hard to let your children go and knowing what is the right thing to do is always difficult! I let the 2 eldest out but have set times to report in. Maybe only an hour or so. Then if something does happen we know it can only have been within a certain time!!!