What are the best spoonerisms you've heard?

[Hayls]

Unfortunately these came from me:
when trying to remember the names of the 7 dwarves- Doc, Sneezy, DUMPY and GROPEY. Thought my mum would cry laughing

when explaining why we weren't going out on Easter Sunday to my mum- the bunny c*nt's been hancelled...

my dh cant understand why im giggling so much im crying!!!

Dh says shitted feets too, though thankfully never in John Lewis

Doing my GCSEs, we were reading out loud in turn in class and I mispronounced "buggy and livery" as "buggery", which I have never fogotten as the whole class fell about, including the teacher.

not quite the same again but my sister who was working as a receptionist for a serviced office had to put a call through from Go Job Site and it came out as "Gobshite"

My grandad used to call the woman next door a billy sitch (to protect our innocent ears!).

I have tears rolling down my face now! haven't had such a laugh in ages!

Bibiboo has just reminded me of when I was 13 yrs old, reading aloud in class and I mis-pronounced Virginia.... (got my wucking mords fuddled didn't I?)

I'm actually stuck with a word at the moment. Although it's not funny it's going to be mighty embarrassing if I don't get out of the habbit. - I've been invited to talk at a seminar and I will insist on calling it senimar - I will be the only joe public amongst big wigs and I'm nervous enough without sounding like a wim dit

once took dd to the supermarket in her Tigger outfit, with detachable tail. When I was putting the shopping the car she started wailing coz the tail had come off. I left her in the car with mum and ran back into the shop and asked the check-out girl if she had seen my tigger's daughter-tail. DH is rather fond of the name Hank Wartily and Frank Wantically

My science teacher once tried to hold a discussion about orgasms with our class. He meant to say organisms, but try bluffing through that one in front of a class of teens!

I shouted at dd to "get in the field now!"

Horror was upon the faces of the old dears in the post office queue!

I meant buggy, but dd had been whining about wanting to go to the field so i got muddled

i say par cark also!

Message withdrawn

at these, i make spoonerisms an ocupational hazrad of mine

not a spoonerism more to do with me being foreign, but i once told a friend on the phone that the children were off because the school had an incest day,she didn't correct me but must have pissed herself laughing afterwards

whymummy

I used to call dado's, dildo rails

My mother had just bought a new kitchen clock, and my sister spotted it during a large family dinner party. She chose that moment to shout out 'nice cock'!

My mum always calls silly people dildos. I'm sure she doesn't know what it really means.

Not really a spoonerism, but I have real difficulty saying "cardamom pods" - I had a friend who did too, and we used to fall about laughing when either of us said "cardamom pobs" (usually after a couple of glasses of wine)

An "office phrase" where I worked came out of our boss's spoonerism - "god you are twitter and bisted, you"

Shitted feets is still making me laugh!

HD, I used to do that when I was young and innocent ....

my exh wrote a letter to me calling me a bicth!!

What about the kid who said pop corn as something that resembled er...'cock porn' I'll never forget that one!!

Newly married to DH, packing up to leave Zim and I was eating some (rare) chocolate........decided to give him some and turned round and said "Shut your mouth and open your eyes"............meant to say open your mouth and shut your eyes - he's never let me live it down

Not a spoonerism, but it's still legendary at work a student's UCAS personal statement where he waxed lyrical about wanting to go to university, study accuntancy and become an accuntant. The unfortunate result of poor written English and the 'ignore all' button on the spell checker

cockporn

wasn't there one where J Gielgud (sp.?), in a particularly tragic stage scene from Macbeth, playing Macduff, said, instead of "all my pretty chicks, all dead"

"all my shitty pricks.............."

"shite tedules"