Would you do this?

[CountessDracula]

Am going away to stay in a hotel. Have a 300m range listening device (dd aged 2.8 is coming with us). There is a beach bar 50 yds away from the hotel. If we checked that the monitor worked and left a radio on in the room on low vol. to ensure that we hadn't lost connection, could we go down to beach bar in the evening or is that really bad? She almost never wakes up in the evening.

I have done this on each and every holiday or weekend away I've been to. The exception being a very large resort hotel where the monitor didnt work and we paid for babysitters.
As long as you are not getting totally sloshed I think its perfectly OK and frankly really makes a break away - otherwise whats the point might as well stay at home. Have just come back from Majorca for a week with ds (2.1) where the compex restaurant was certainly 50yds away if not more and the nights we stayed 'on complex' so to speak we used the monitor.
If your child has a good sleep record and is unlikely to be disturbed (and even if they are you can get to them within a couple of minutes which is probably sooner than I would do at home iyswim) then think this is totally acceptable.
cd have a fntastic time

Yes. My parents used to lock me in the room on holiday and then go out and get pissed with no qualms at all. Then they used to come back and have drunken and noisy sex and wake me up.

I wouldn't go that far,but yes, no probs with beach bar.

So Tanzie, do you think it was Good Thing or a Bad Thing that your parents did that? Sounds as though they probably had a good holiday - did you?

• sorry Tanzie I'm such a prude and squeamish at the mention of drunken and noisy sex between parents fgs! After all me and dh have virtually given that up now that we are parents

Sorry No.

Would you be happy if your baby-sitter spent the evening at the party next door?

Would you be happy if your day-care nursery left your sleeping child inside without any staff while they took other kids outside for a bit of sunshine?

Can you guarantee your baby won't get a fever/choke/get bitten by a mossie etc?

Obviously your choice, but I wonder what the law is in Britain about leaving a child unattended in a house...?

Why not take them with you in a buggy?

Or get a local babysitter? - if you don't trust a babysitter are you worried that they won't look after them properly? - they could act more quickly and call you faster than the monitor system!

If going out is an important part of your holiday, and you don't want to take them with you perhaps taking someone on holiday with you would be a solution? Go with other parents, or grandparents?

Enjoy your holiday, but when you are weighing up the facts to decide what to do please thinking of the 'what ifs'...

What if you don't go out?
What if you take them in a buggy?
What if (Heaven forbid)something happened to your child while you were out?
What if there was a fire etc? You would not be allowed to enter the hotel to rescue your child, and have to make the people in charge of the emergency that there is a child who is not going to be able to react to the emergency or take any measures that adults would - eg wet towel at the bottom of the door to stop smoke, going to nearest fire exit, or come to that setting off the alarm in the first place if the fire starts in your room!

It must be infuriating not to be able to behave like a childless couple when you need a break, but you really don't have long as a parent of young children...

CD, I think I'd try it. I certainly don't think you are being neglectful in giving it a go.

However, I remember us taking our oldest ds to Ireland when he was 3 years old. He was a good sleeper usually. Every day, we was a busy boy and should have been so knackered he would have zonked out no probs. Could we get him to drift off in the evenings - no way! He just got so excited about the new surroundings and seemed to sense the fun was not over yet ( for dh and I). We used to lie in bed with him, pretend we were going to sleep, then we would fall asleep too and miss our night out

Don't want to rain on your parade - hope your dd is not like this.

One other thing, don't know if it has been covered, but will the hotel staff know you are not on the premises? Will you tell them? It's possible they might have a policy about parents being on the premisis at all times. That doesn't mean I wouldn't go out if I were you, it's just whether you tell the staff. If you phone the hotel anonymously before your visit, you could sound them out about this.

As for the simple fact of leaving a child 50 metres away - I can't see anything wrong with this if the monitor works and you go back to check up regularly. I used to live in a tiny terraced house and sometimes popped round to my neighbour's house for an hour or so, with monitor, while my son was sleeping. Never had a problem.

badger, remember CD would have a good working moniter with her!

If you spent your life worring about fire risks, you'd never go out of your house ( and even then, you're not safe).

If CD or her dh goes back to check up every half hour, they are very likely to be around if there's fire alarm (and the hotel is so near, could see and smell it too).

and I think your last line was uncalled for, actually.

I'm with Drummingbunny about using the car. Dorset is pretty sleepy in the grand scheme of things, I have left various doors open or unlocked when I've gone out by accident, not on purpose but my perception of the risk here has made me more laid back about locking up since we've moved here. And I think that's the thing with this discussion, it is an individual's perception of the risk and what type of risk they feel comfortable in taking (bearing in mind that practically everything carries some kind of risk). I'd like to see statistics comparing accidents involving children left in hotel rooms with child listening and statistics of children involved in some kind of car incident. CD, if you're planning to go out for an early dinner, I've heard that the Shell Bay Seafood Restaurant is good. It's about 40 mins or so from where you are staying but you could combine it with a few hours on the beach at Studland.

haven't had enough time to read all of this. I'll probably get flamed for this but what the hell. We used a baby listening scheme with Mark Warner with dd when she was 2.5. It worked very well. tried it with ds at the same age but no dice, he wouldn't sleep. We have also used a baby monitor in some b @ Bs and hotels. It has got to the stage now where my kids are old enough and we take them for a later meal out. But I fully remember the difficulties when they sparked out at 6.30, leaving dh and I to read in the semi darkness of a hotel room!

And We once had an old, bigger house, and they kids were 50m away from me when I was in the living room and they were asleep in bed.

CD we just had a holiday with our two in a hotel, we didnt bring baby monitors, and both we put to sleep in the day and at night by themselves.
we could ring into the room from any phone in the hotel, and i was quite happy with that.

as others say if i am out in the garden and ds is asleep i certainly wont hear him, and as he sleeps for 1 1/2 hrs i kinda leave him to it.

dd is 2+8mths ad ds was 8 1/2mths at the time

have any you seen the email from mumsnet news with one of the headlines saying that parents today sleep 30% less than our parents because listening devices have parents jumping up alot more and women will feed a baby to sleep and lift them into their cots.

20/30 years ago i'd said quite alot of us were left to it.

Definitely would like details of hotel once you are back (although I have an inkling where it may be).

Have a lovely time CD, hope the sun shines on you .

What happens when someone breaks into you room and goes through your things?

It happens.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but hotel room break ins are extremely unlikely to in a sleepy Dorset Hotel, more likely in one of the bigger towns. The vandalism of our local phone boxes is front page news in our local paper down here. There have been no reports of child kidnapping. If there have been any terrorists I missed them. I will admit to having seen a couple of mozzies, but that's more to do with our neighbours pond. Surely a lot of this depends on the place you're going to and your individual child ? Dorset and a 2.8 year old who can't get out of a cot sounds pretty safe in the grand scheme of things to me.

totally agree kittpickle

my friend was laughing recently because her sister punched her boyfriend in the pub and it made the local paper

I imagine those who are making the comments that they would rather not go on holiday than stay in the same room as their children are in the privileged position to always afford or find available interconnecting rooms.

We've just been away for a citybreak and had to have dd 2y 6m sleep in the same room as us. Last time we went on a citybreak we stayed in an apartment but that option wasn't available to us in the city we chose this time. FWIW - it worked out fine. Probably because it was the type of city where there was lots to do as a family during the day but no warm mediteranean cafe/bar culture to enjoy. We were scared DD wouldn't go to sleep with a light on and us in the room but she was so warn out during the day that she slept fine. And as she slept we were able to chat, read, drink without disturbing her.

Not everyone books a holiday with the idea of DH and DW alone nighttime in mind - sometimes it is a break for the whole family to enjoy daytime activities together.

Not that I fall into that category usually and understand fully how nice it is to have 'time-out' but I just wanted to point out that it's not everyone's priority and sometimes people cannot afford babysitters or to have their child sleeping in another room. It doesn't mean it's a dreadful holiday.

Tigermoth- On re-reading my post I realised it could be taken two ways-you (and perhaps other readers) have taken it the way in which I did NOT mean - i.e. as a put-down.

The point I was trying to get across was that as a mum of two I do sympathise and realise how much a couple can benefit from a bit of child-free time, especially when enjoying a break from routine and work to recharge their batteries, but it is sometimes hard to imagine just how quickly time passes and the time when your tots ARE grown and give you time without them comes around sooner than you may think. I obviously should have expanded more in my original post, but in my defense my kids had started screaming as I started what became the last line of my post!

There are enough people knocking parents, I certainly don't want to be one of them. And I know that you have to take some risks every day, or as you say you'd never do anything, but by the same token you curtail risks daily. Think of basic home safety or road rules. My 'What if' suggestion was intended to help the mum rationalise her thinking to help her come to her own decision. So0meone gave me the same tip once - basically if I'm not sure whether to do/allow something away from routine/usual carers, think of the 'What Ifs', the 'So Whats' and whether you'd be happy letting someone else do it. (Useful in some cases if you are upset with something a relative allows/suggests for your kids - would you let a childminder/teacher do it or would you be angry or upset?)

Anyway, didn't mean to cause offence, apologies to anyone who took it that way.

well you asked!

beatie - don't assume that those of us who can't bear to sleep in the same room as our children are always swanning off to hotel suites! I've only had one night in a hotel with ds1 (he was 8 months) - and as it happened, we left him in his room and took a monitor while we joined the party downstairs Slept terribly though - and wouldn't have gone through choice, it was a wedding.
TBH its the lack of availability, and cost, of interconnecting rooms that means we've never had a family hotel holiday - we are restricted to self catering instead. I also think that in reality, ds1 is now too old and too over-excitable to be able to settle in a hotel room while we disappear anywhere (see camping tale below) We will be putting it to the test in July....(a small, cheap hotel in Devon. Yes I will do a review!)

Oh yes, we're always booking suites at the Ritz four our family.....not.
We always rent a cottage. For me, skulking about at night so as not to disturb a sleeping child would be infinitely worse than being at home. I certainly wouldn't pay for the privilege. The only hotel holiday we have had was ONE night over a year ago with ds in the room and us downstairs eating dinner and walking round the grounds drinking G&T.

'FOR" our family...obviously

And I thought I worded my post tactfully