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Original poster

I think I have a problem

74 replies

ADrinker · 27/05/2005 10:00

Sorry to be a coward and change my name. But I want to offload this as it's been bothering me for some time. I've always been a bit of a drinker but now I think it has become a problem and I don't think I can stop. It starts on Friday where dh and I might have a bottle of wine between us and a few beers. On Sat we would have a few drinks during the day, then a bottle of wine each in the evening, same on Sun. I try not to drink during the week but usually end up having half a bottle of wine on Wednesday. It's now got to the point where I maybe don't drink 2 days out of 7, but during those 2 days I am sorely tempted.
We've had a few problems and drink is my way of relaxing, but now I am relying on it too much to relax and I am worried that I am doing long-term damage to myself. However I resolve not to drink on a particular day, if dh offers me a beer I cannot say no. Please someone tell me the risks so I can use this info to try again to cut down.

OP posts:
Toothache · 27/05/2005 10:09

ADrinker - Your and your DH sound like me and my DH!! In fact.... being as hungover as I am at the moment I might have thought I typed that!

I defintely use alcohol to unwind. DH and I drink at least 3 times a week, but usually 4 or 5. I don't know what kind of long term damage I'm doing to myself. I just know that I'm having so many problems in every aspect of my life just now that its my only reprieve.

Original poster
ADrinker · 27/05/2005 10:16

I'm glad I'm not the only one, but it worries me enormously. I don't want to have some alcohol-related disease that takes me from my children. I might be being melodramatic here, but sometimes I get so ill from it that I get scared. I want to cut down but I just can't seem to. I think that if someone were to tell me what I might be doing to myself then I might be able to use that to cut down a bit. So what I am asking for is help really, please help me to regain control of my life!

OP posts:
Toothache · 27/05/2005 10:20

Do you get really drunk? Or do you just get that warm feeling of being a bit tiddly? I very rarely get plastered as the kids are in bed.

TBH I don't think it's sounds like you've lost control of your life.... just finding the unhealthy way to relax perhaps. Sorry I can't help you much, but wanted you to know you're not alone. I will cut down to perhaps 2 or 3 nights a week, but have no intention of stopping drinking.

charliecat · 27/05/2005 10:20

Is dp concerned about the amount you are both drinking?
Im asking becuae I used to live next door to a couple, she wanted to cut down, he didnt. She couldnt resist the beer that was always in the fridge and so it was a vicious circle for her, the beer was always there and too hard to refuse.
If dp would maybe cut down with you? Keep it to the weekends?

Potty1 · 27/05/2005 10:26

ADrinker - I have used drink to relax and got into the sort of habits you describe. The only thing that helps me to cut down on my drinking is not to have any in the house, like you if it's offered I will say yes. I think you need to tell dh how you are feeling about it and try to cut it doown together.

Original poster
ADrinker · 27/05/2005 10:27

We do get drunk still, not falling over drunk though. And in the mornings we can both be pretty ill. The trouble is that sometimes I wish I could have just one drink, but I can never stop, even when I really don't want any more, I do anyway.
I don't know if dh thinks it is a problem or not, I am afraid of bringing the subject up. Whilst I want to cut down, I don't know how else I would unwind. We did give up for 16 days once, but it made us so miserable. Drink unwinds us, we have fun with it and we open up to each other. If we don't have a drink we become unsociable, often going to bed early to read our books.
We have better sex when influenced by drink too. You see it has so much going for it, it's such a huge part of my life that I can only see it's benefits and none of it's disadvantages apart from the fact that I know it is very bad for you and I am worried about what I am doing to my body.
Does any of this make sense to anyone?

OP posts:
Toothache · 27/05/2005 10:29

Again ADrinker that could be me posting!! Spooky.

Potty1 · 27/05/2005 10:33

Yes....perfect sense.

You don't have to give it up completely though. Why not try not to have drink in the house during the week and at the weekends only have enough available to relax you - not to get you drunk.

Original poster
ADrinker · 27/05/2005 10:35

I will try that, thanks. But after working hard all day, how can I relax in the evening without having to have a drink? What do other people do?

OP posts:
noddyholder · 27/05/2005 10:45

it is nothing to do with quantity more the effect it has on you and your life If you feel the need to drink even on your no drink days i would say it is a problem

loulabelle222 · 27/05/2005 11:35

toothache- u had a go at me for spending money o designer clothes for my child. You waste your money on booze! There is nothing wrong with drinking when the children are not around or if its just a few but getting drunk whilst being around your children is disgusting. What kind of influence are you giving them. It also means that you can't give them the attention that they need because you feel like shit... and all because you want a decent shag. I think its really bad! If you have a problem you need to see somebody about it! quick.

loulabelle222 · 27/05/2005 11:36

adrinker how old are your children?

ggglimpopo · 27/05/2005 11:38

Message withdrawn

loulabelle222 · 27/05/2005 11:39

i just think its bad. Adrinker said she wanted somebody to shock her so thats what i did.

Toothache · 27/05/2005 11:40

loulabelle22 - EH????

fastasleep · 27/05/2005 11:42

I used to feel awful watching my mum wander around drunk as a child, it really affected me I felt that it was all my fault and even when she appeared to be really happily drunk I still felt really guilty and unhappy.... she used to miss christmas and birthday mornings because she was in bed with a hangover.... just don't let yourself get like that

Toothache · 27/05/2005 11:43

If you remember correctly I said that it's up to you to waste your money on that.... I waste my money on other stuff!! REMEMBER???!

I don't get drunk with the kids around! They are always tucked up in bed asleep and I don't get rat-arsed! (just in case that was directed at me)

fastasleep · 27/05/2005 11:43

You shouldn't need booze to make your relationship exciting!

NotQuiteCockney · 27/05/2005 11:45

loulabelle22, it's not really nice to try to drag a fight into another thread.

loulabelle222 · 27/05/2005 11:45

but you said your sitting here with a hangover? You must be a great person to see first thing in the morning.

loulabelle222 · 27/05/2005 11:46

no i know i won't mention it again but just stating a point.

Toothache · 27/05/2005 11:47

Yeah so what Loulabelle22???? I'm at work! I leave the house at 7.15am.... I can assure you I'm not effecting my kids by having 3 glasses of wine of an evening!

You really are something else LB22!

Toothache · 27/05/2005 11:48

fuming<

Anyway... will try to ignore that post....

ADrinker - Are you still there?

fastasleep · 27/05/2005 11:48

4? Shh? Stop it you're upsetting each other? Toothache you don't sound like a raving alcoholic, LLB - shh!

loulabelle222 · 27/05/2005 11:49

i am not saying that toothache. It is fine if you want 3 glasses of wine and not getting drunk. What i am saying is if you are getting drunk and have a hangover like you said u did then what kind of influence is that on your children? I am not having a go at you for drinking!