I think I have a problem

[ADrinker]

Sorry to be a coward and change my name. But I want to offload this as it's been bothering me for some time. I've always been a bit of a drinker but now I think it has become a problem and I don't think I can stop. It starts on Friday where dh and I might have a bottle of wine between us and a few beers. On Sat we would have a few drinks during the day, then a bottle of wine each in the evening, same on Sun. I try not to drink during the week but usually end up having half a bottle of wine on Wednesday. It's now got to the point where I maybe don't drink 2 days out of 7, but during those 2 days I am sorely tempted.
We've had a few problems and drink is my way of relaxing, but now I am relying on it too much to relax and I am worried that I am doing long-term damage to myself. However I resolve not to drink on a particular day, if dh offers me a beer I cannot say no. Please someone tell me the risks so I can use this info to try again to cut down.

Have you been drinking fastasleep?

Yes I've been drinking lots. I admit it. And I admit that I'm pregnant too I just can't stop drinking.....Robinson's squash that is. I don't think DH has a problem at all and he scored 11 shrugs

Right, so I score higher than any of you, and some of you previously thought you were regular drinkers. So therefore I really do have a problem! It's one thing having your suspicions but another having it confirmed for you!

I think I will print out the form and show it to dh. I should have done this on Monday, not the bloody weekend! You see, I'm already wondering if I should forget about it for just this weekend, I simply cannot imagine a weekend without drink.

ADrinker - one thing that scares me when drinking is if something (serious) happened to my son and I was unable to cope with it cos Id had too much. You say you live in a remote area, would there be someone else close by that could drive if you needed to go to hospital for example?

I know what you mean. Tbh if I have gone to bed the worse for wear, I do remember times when one of the children have woken me up and I've dealt with it ok.

If an accident happened no-one would drive, we would call an ambulance.

D'oh, I forgot about those big white vans with flashing blue lights on the top! (blush] - I havent been drinking - honest!

I cant even type! - I mean

I've read the first post and replied, so not read anything else... yet...
I stopped a few weeks ago as I felt like alcohol controlled me, rather than me controlling the alcohol. A bad habit to break rather than an addiction
I gave up and although DH kept drinking I was steely willed and have only had one or two odd drinks since then, I will enjoy one or two tonight, but not the whole bottle not 5 cans.
To boot I have lost 2kgs in two weeks, wake earlier and brighter, have more patience with the kids and took up a habit in Sudoku ( you know the number puzzles) that gets me through the night now.
If you feel that you cannot stop without your dps help then you may need to see if he will stop to help you both.
You will sustain liver damage if you continue to drink a lot often, but your liver will repair given then opportunity if you let it rest between onslaughts.
I would never have thought I could give it up but now feel very glad that I did, I view it differently too... With healthy suspicion.
Good luck
xxxxxxxxxx

Adrinker I got 18 as well . Its been a concern of mine that I'm drinking far too much as well. I was brought up in a pub which didn't do me any favours. I've scared myself silly looking at how badly the body can be affected, so I now make sure I only have a limited amount of booze in the house, because like yourself I'm not satisfied with just one or two. Good luck with cutting down.

ADrinker,

I just want to let you know that from a person who grow up around an alcoholic (now i am not saying you are in anyway), I can remember my mum falling around drunk from the age of 6-7 and it has affected me in a way that i would not drink at home with my partner i would go to the pub, i would only have a drink at home if we had visitors or friends around. Now i understand that with young chrildren that some people dont get the chance to go to the pub and unwind as lack of babysitters or no family members living near by.
I really think you have a drink to unwind and relax, but i would try and give it a miss now and again, just to prove to yourself that you are not depending on it.
The only affects that i see with mum is bad skin, she has damaged her liver, poor diet.
Hope this helps and doesnt confuse you..

Thank you. I will talk to dh tonight, I will make a conscious effort to cut down this weekend. That test really has put the wind up me and I want my children to grow up proud of me, not pitying me or having to care for me because I'm an alcoholic or anything.

Thanks for helping me to admit to it.

ADrinker, the fact you are concerned shows that maybe you do drink too much, but recognising it is halfway to solving it. As for Toothache having seen your posts before I would say you seem to be a very reasonable, sorted, good person. As for me, I used to drink far too much, and then I stopped, I just got sick of it. I miss it much less than I expected, I think the fear of losing what can seem like a prop in times of need, or an enhancer in times of celebration, is far worse than the reality.

How's it going ADrinker? Really admire your honesty and best of luck with hopefully cutting down, I'm sure it won't be as hard as you first imagined. Lots of luck x

Good luck ADrinker. I also grew up with a drunk mother and it really scared me when I was very young and then just revolted me. I also was a shocking boozer and just got fed up with it. Luckily met DH who is my saviour! We have a bottle of wine between us most evenings, not all but very, very rarely any more than that (I scored 5!). I can't remember the last time I had a hangover when there was a time when I couldn't remember NOT having one! I really wish you all the best, even if you are not incapable around your kids it could still affect them

Loulabelle22 - Calm down, calm down. You were way too harsh on Toothache.

ADrinker - Your alcohol intake sounds a little like mine pre ds. I think you should probably cut down a bit. I now have a couple of glasses of wine for about 2 nights of the week and probably 3 glasses on a friday and saturday. On the nights that I don't have wine I have minstrels, very very chocolately. I plan to cut down after my holiday and just have wine at the weekend as I am worried about the long term damage/cancer etc.

I went through this and haven't had a drink in 15 years (don't miss it, sex still good and found health ways to deal with stress). Anyway, please consider looking at AA, they have a website you can look at, lots of meetings all over uk and they can answer your questions about alcohol because they have been there, done that. One thing to consider that I have learned there, social drinkers never, ever ask themselves " maybe I drink too much?". Something to consider. You are brave to face this, your kids will thank-you someday.

Well, I started off ok. I told dh that I wanted to cut down and he said things like "We don't drink that much!" and "Those drink surveys are all biased, everyone lies on them, take no notice!" but he did finally accept my point that I was going to cut down. He had a beer during tea but I abstained. Then, after the children had gone to bed we opened one bottle of wine and shared it between us, I even opted for a smaller glass than he had.

Sat was much the same. I bought a badminton set so we would have something else to do in the evenings. However Sunday was bad, I drank a whole bottle of wine and felt thoroughly ashamed of myself afterwards, not much of a hangover though. And even though I had made up my mind not to drink at all during the week, yesterday our neighbours invited us over and offered us a drink, I couldn't say no. But we didn't carry on once we got home, even though dh tempted me.

So I think there is hope, I have proved that I can say no to dh. And he has agreed that we will not buy any beers during the week, so there will be no alcohol in the house apart from weekends. Now if I can do even better this coming weekend, then I will feel that I am getting there.

After each weekend, would anyone mind if I came on here and told you how it went? It kinda helped this weekend as I knew I would have to come on here and admit to how much I had drunk.

Message withdrawn

Havent read the whole thread but did read your first and last post. It sounds like you are beginning to take control of it which is good. After this monitoring you may decide to limit yourself even more.
I say this as theres nothing worse than realising somethings got you by the balls...you then need to get it grasped firmly so its you whos calling the shots. I will be here to listen

ADrinker
Well done you, the biggest parts is saying NO and you did.. Granted you drank a bottle of wine on sunday, but add up what you would usually drink and then what you drank this wkend..
Really hope you can take control and say no more often, then when you do have a drink you will really enjoy it an unwind.
I found when i gave up cigs my house was shining from top to bottom, If you feel like a drink just say well i clean up the kitchen and then have one glass..

God i hope that makes sense!!!

but well done..

Adrinker,

I would love to cut down on my drinking, and I would join you in a thread if you started one, sometimes you just need a little support, and occasionally I lie about my drinking to other people which can (no! does worry me)

Adrinker, I used to drink loads when I was with xp and he encouraged me to, because he was an alcoholic. Trouble was, I was so busy drinking myself, I didn't notice he had a serious alcohol problem and he encouraged me to drink as much as possible because it took the spotlight off him.

My point being - what's your DP's drinking like? Do you encourage each other to drink? Are you developing a co-dependency relationship with each other? Couples can fool each other (and themselves) about an alcohol problem very easily - after all, it's not solitary drinking, it's in company, isn't it? And the more alcohol-dependent person in the relationship, will encourage the other person to believe they have a problem.

This may be completely irrelevant to you, but I just wanted to run it past you so you can dismiss it if it is irrelevant, but consider it if it's not.

Just found this thread and have to admit I am shocked by the amount people are drinking . Exactly who is responsible for your children when both yourselves and dps have had the best part of a bottle of wine?? What would you do if (heaven forbid) you had a child related emergency and had to react quickly and think clearly?

Having said that I would like to say well done to ADrinker for recognising the problem and doing something about it. You go girl, good luck for the weekend.

Adrinker - How's is going?

Fatmomma - Peoples tolerance levels of alcohol vary vastly! Just coz you might be inebriated after a bottle of wine it doesn't mean I am.

The children are in bed sleeping soundly, if there was an emergency we would deal with it. I don't think anyone here is drinking to the point of unconsiousness!

I wouldn't do ANYTHING to compromise the safety of my children and I'm disgusted at the implications that when I have a bottle of wine I am so drunk that I need someone else to be responsible for them.