should a 49 year old man live with his 79 year old mother

[alypaly]

He has never lived on his own and doesnt want to.
He does everything for his mum as she is virtually housebound.Is this weird or wat.

I have tried fishing but cant sit there all day with maggots in he pouring rain. He seems to have an almost hermit like existence but just pops back for meals....Do u think i shud call it a day and seee if i meet someone else
But where do u go to meet people at 53 without looking as if u are on the pull?

yeh maybe you are right, but the kids think of him as their dad....he has spent most of thei lives with them...really hard..but I suppose i need to be selfish and realise that my kids wont be with me 4 ever.
Thx

Can you just try issuing a wake-up call?

Say you want to see him making an effort to initiate things and not just mope about waiting for you to organise it all. And that you'd like to see him clean up his act?
And say if he can't be bothered to wake himself up then you don't want to drift into middle-age like this. and you will be ending the relationship?

And then see what happens? I suppose the danger is that he will prefer apathy to action but then at least you know he won't change and you can get out.

read your posts back and then ask 'Would you like to live with this person?'It is none of your business what his mum does wrt eating sleeping housework etc at 80 she has earned the right to do as she pleases.

Katisha
I know that he will prefer apathy to action. when we have discussed things in the past..he just goes home rather than discussing or sorting things out. He classes healthy discussions as an arguement and if there is and argument he just walks away and doesnt come back for 3 days or more. He wont argue about anything. In fact one of my badminton friends actually asked him once'do u actually have an opinion about anything' ...and she meant it...

noddyholder

well it might become her neighbours business as the house is joined to 2 others and the council have a right to evict you if the house is so dirty... Not that i would wish that on her but if the council workme wont come in to do the repairs maybe she is treading on very thin ice. It is mine and my boyfrinds business as i would hate to see them evicted