Life Choices

[northernlass1]

Has anyone made any life changing decisions which have really worked out eg emigrating, taking on a small holding, giving up work etc.

dh can retire next year at 38 (if he wants)with 1/3 salary as a yearly pension (14k) and a lump sum of a years salary. We've recently inherited some money and have about 400k in house equity (I know we are very lucky in this respect!!).

dh is away a lot with the job which puts a big strain on our marriage and the children are hard work on your own. We're also living in the south where house prices are enormous.

Beginning to think a lot about completely changing our life, ds is nearly 4 and dd is 1.5. School in the village is brilliant though but we have few friends here and no family (only recently moved). I love it in the north.

What would fellow mumsnetters do in our position??

Northernlass - we had a child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

where does he want to go,northenlass?

Move to the South of France! SERIOUSLY!

Mum2Toby

Tee Hee - fair point - we could always have more children

nothernlass - move!!!! If I had the chance to get out of here I would do it in a heartbeat. Your ds and dd are hopefully still young enough that they could start afresh with new friends. You could get a gorgeous house in a lovely area - with a fantastic school - money would almost be no object initially.
We were desperate to settle in Scotland when we got married but it didn't work out. We moved down south with the intention of it only being temporary and 4 years later we're still here. I envy you. From your post it sounds like you've already convinced yourself. Do you have family/friends back up north?

whymummy

dh is home on sunday after 4.5m away - he will do anything I want and go anywhere in return for sex. He would probably like to go somewhere really outdoorsy to ski and climb mountains - he's one of those 'chacter building' type of people who feel better for having climbed mountains all day.

pupuce

thought a lot about france but what about the french people/social life?

well,how about buying a farm in catalunya,youre very near the sea and the mountains,thats my dream anyway(big sigh)

bobsmum

thankyou thankyou - I need to be really got a grip of I think - I keep thinking that we're wasting our lives we have a 200k mortgage and work really hard to pay it - seems absolutley mad to me but need to be down here for dh job - our fault for buying a big house though has to be said.

bobsmum
Yes small family up north and best mate from uni. Seemed to get judged on my accent down here but probably completely sensitive.

Been watching that probram on and off, about familys made to move abroad for a month to see if they like it and some don't so am now thinking maybe this is it and be happy with your lot but I'm just not happy with much of it at all - I have little or no fun at the moment - probably due to lack of good silly drinking mates with being a newcomer.

where's catalunya?

sorry,north east of spain,barcelona,tarragona,lerida and girona

northernlass - i get the accent thing too (plus comments on haggis/kilts/drinking/drinking/drinking). The worse thing is talking to under 5s who've generally never heard someone with a different accent. I've had to put on a sarf east accent just to get some to understand me. It's such a relief going back home ( Scotland is definitely still home) and top up on my accent before it disappears!
Be honest - where do you call home?

I'd move in a heartbeat, if in your position, to wherever takes your fancy.

If you want to move back north, then go there. I guess what you will get for your money will depend where you go - it's not all cheap, just cos it's north, is it?

But to be mortgage free and able to take a stress-free job....

Would your DH want to go north? Does he want to retire? Much as mine ocmplains about his job, we have spent many hours talking about how he could change his life and, in the end, he is pretty much married to it, and wouldn't take something lower paid to remain close to us/home rather than working overseas/away.

Definitely move, in your situation. If you're not happy there, why stay? What's to keep you there? But it's true, house prices are not dirt cheap in the north, Cheshire (parts of) is easily on a par with the South East.

But a pension of 14k per year, plus you may get income from another job, is manageable - many people live on that kind of salary.

Good luck, nice position to be in

Don't any of you change your accents. I love the northern accents and in fact just love the north.

We moved from Australia to the UK and it has been fantastic for us. I lived here many years ago in my youth so knew what I was doing. He had no idea.

For a quick run down we met, married, resigned from our jobs and relocated within 12 months basically.

We decided to relocate for three reasons those being, to further our careers, to make money to take home to Australia and to travel more. As my husband hadn't travelled when I met him he was still very green.

In three years, my career has gone places it just couldn't have if I had stayed in Australia, dh's career has not gone up but broadened amazingly and he is now a completely different character to when we left. Better I might add. We have managed to purchase a hugely expensive flat in London which is mortgaged to the hilt and which will ensure we have money to take home due to the equity we are putting into it. We have travelled but not nearly enough but even the little we have done has once again broadened dh's outlook on life and matured him beyong belief. I of course was perfect before we left Oz and remain so (please picture grins here as I still can't do them).

I am now watching all of these shows and see all of these people saying how they wouldn't go back to their old life in the rat race even for all the hard work they put in. I'm wondering when we will get the chance to do it and keep contemplating relocating as they have done.

I doubt this is helping you at all but I just wanted you to know that London and the UK does have its good points. You are so close to such a wide variety of cultures and countries, there is so much more opportunity here in terms of jobs and building a life for yourselves.

The only down side is the life style but that can be a big down side and you seriously need to consider what it is you want from life and when you want it.

For our personal circumstances, my view is we work hard for the next 6-10 years and then return to either Australia or another location that takes my fancy (of course he gets no choice in the matter) to enjoy the life style we want our children to enjoy.

Ramble, ramble, ramble, me, me, me. Doubt that helps but at least you know what we did.

By the way, it can be as hard or easy as you like to relocate yourself it just depends on how much you want what you are going to. The grass is always greener on the other side and there are times when it is incredibly hard missing family and friends but you just have to weather those storms.

meanmum

really enjoyed reading that - thanks - I find it comforting that everyone has equally hard decisions to make about what to do with your life. If only there were signposts saying this way - its better over here..life would be much easier. I don't know what to do yet but I do know for certain that I don't want to drift for years regretting not having done something else.

Went travelling in Africa for a month or so a few years ago and absolutely loved every minute of it - but of course that was a holiday.

You lucky family! You've got the world in your hands with all that capital. You could become a landlord with some of your money ( buy flats in somewhere nice and let an agent deal with them) and then buy where you want to live and do all those hobby type things that you haven't done yet and the children can become bilingual . A long time ago I was lucky enough to travel in Asia for 3 years and I'm still living with all those sights/smells/sounds. It was an enormous adventure and life is an adventure. I moved to France in 1989 and don't regret it for a moment ( even though I still miss family and friends) there's so much to see and do before you get too old to move.

mmm

Feeling v positive about it now - will have long chat with dh when he's home next week.
what made you move to france - do you work there? How do you get on with everyone over there?

Meanmum wrote:
"London and the UK does have its good points. You are so close to such a wide variety of cultures and countries, there is so much more opportunity here in terms of jobs and building a life for yourselves."

I agree with this. We did the switch from the UK to Australia three years ago but the project fell apart and we came back after 9 months. We had hoped for a ocuple of years at least, tbh.

But I was definitely aware that I was a long way from anywhere - could fly for five hours and not be out of the country (well not quite but sort of)! Very different to being able to hop on a plane and go to France for the day, as someone I know on another list did yesterday.

I loved Australia though. And I love NZ. DH is a Kiwi so can work in either but the opportunities are not as good for him. Going off-topic now though so will shut up!

Hi,

Has anyone relocated to spain for a change of life???? We are very keen to , although a bit scared (is the grass greener??), would be great to talk to anyone who has already made the move.

If you can afford to live abroad even for a short while you should try it, you can always come home again and at least you tried it to see what it was like. Also Becomming a landlord and renting out properties is another good idea, as someone else pointed out. A good investment for the future.
My DH and I would love to emigrate but seem to hit obstacles at every turn. We'd also like to rent out property as extra income and an investment for the future. But sadly we don't have enough money to get started.
Try something different and good luck I'm sure you'll do fine.

Northernlass1, we chucked it all in to move to Spain. Our catalyst was our sons health so dh gave up his £80,000 business, we said Adios to friends and family and off we went. We hated it. Couldnt settle, didnt like being an outsider (lots of animosoty from the Spanish too), hated cockroaches, bored by the lack of accessible culture etc, etc, etc. We stayed a year, had a laugh, invested in some property and happily returned to UK. We are so glad we rented out our London flat rather than selling it.

mumwith2,spain is great,even if i say so myself,can i come with you?

Go somewhere where your money goes further. My poxy two bedroom flat in London is worth more than my friend's five bedroom, 3 car garage, two bathroom, private beach, 10 acre property yadda yadda yadda in New Zealand.

It's not as hard as you think it will be, take the leap, you'll probably never regret it.

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Within two weeks I had left a good job in Australia and had moved to the UK where I knew no one. Figured I would work and do some travelling on the side. I have kept my house in Australia and rented it out - suspecting that I would probably go back home one day.

Just over a year after arriving I had met my now Dh married him and was pregnant with Dd. It took a long time for people to accept me here and while I have enjoyed it - it is not for us - our Dd will benefit much more from being in Australia. So we are now saving like mad to have some money behind us when we want to emigrate.

I think one of the important drawcards is the support. While we have some good friends here and dh's family - in Australia we have a wide circle of friends who have young children and an extended family. That support is very important.

I know you have to be prudent about this matters but your heart is always a good guide. If you love it in the North look into buying property up there and perhaps you may also be able to own property abroad - perhaps live there for part of the year and then here for part of the year before your children get to school. might be a way of seeing what you prefer.