What on EARTH has happened to MN lately?

[MrsMerryHenry]

Over the last couple of weeks it's as if there's been an online synchronising of menstrual cycles and everyone has raging PMT!

Okay, not everyone, but surely I can't be the only one to have noticed that there's been a hell of a lot of stroppy teen catfighting and name-calling, and lots of posters seem to be in hypersensitive mode, snapping at the merest indication of dissent or independent thought. I would even describe the atmosphere as vituperative, which makes me think how humiliating it is for DG to have described MN in those terms and then for so many posters to prove her right.

Perhaps things have calmed down now - I haven't been on the site much for a few days, partly because of the unpleasantness and partly because of RL stuff. But if this is how things were pre-Moldiegate I can now see why some MNers felt the need to separate themselves. Which makes me very sad.

Lupus, I wasn't aware of that! Thanks for filling me in on the background.

FabBaker - hmm...interesting that you've completely ignored my OP apart from the bit that mentioned the Moldies.

She'd have been better off going on Netmums really wouldn't she?

But really, if you're not expecting it, the responses to some things on Mumsnet can be astoundingly vicious. And if you happen to be on a bf/ff thread and have chosen to ff you are fecked.

You might not want to admit it but it's true...been there, done that.

"if you're not expecting it, the responses to some things on Mumsnet can be astoundingly vicious" - you said it, GodzillasBumcheek. I certainly don't expect anodyne pretence at niceness, and I thoroughly endorse the openness and honesty which I see on MN. However, I cannot think of any justifiable reason for catfighting - and I must add that I've never seen the men on MN do it. Shameful, isn't it?

I don't think the men fight with each other but you only have to look at any thread that involves religion to see a couple of them happily fighting with the laydeez. The style is just less hairpully and more patronising pat-on-the-head-for-the-wee-girly.

Hello Mrs Merry!

I've been away from MN for a couple of months. Since my return, having stuck laregly to 'baby names' and 'style and beauty' (for much needed advice!), I must say it seems a far nicer, happier place.

It's one thing to have a good debate, but that wasn't what was happening on topics such as AIBU, IME. Some posters seemed to be taking anonymity as a licence to be very rude and disrespectful of other people's opinions. Not nice.

I've had several discussions with men on the religion threads, but haven't seen/heard UnquietDad for a while. Perhaps he's converted.

thumbs - you are absolutely right, it is! Just as bad, then. You've redeemed our sex!

MrsSB!!!!! Where on earth have you been, young lady? On a long shagathon with Sean, I hope?

Interesting that you notice something better after your absence. And I agree with you - even though AIBU has a public health warning I still think the knife-wielding is unacceptable, and I generally avoid those threads these days.

I've heard UQD has become a Zorastrh...ahhh, whatever.

oh no, you've missed the thread about the light sensors and the Jewish couple then? UQD is back with a vengeance there and has been taken roundly to task for his lack of respect in posting. He flounced was off for a while but re-appeared a couple of days ago.

I did see that thread, thumbwitch, but didn't see UQD's posts.

I suspect that when we're tapping away we let our social guard down as we are conversing without the usual cues of body language, vocal tone and knowledge of the person we're talking to. So perhaps we treat fellow posters as less human because we essentially view them as less human.

ooh, I like that DrMH! well, you'll just have to see if you can get funding for it - I expect some Meeja Studies college would pay for it?!

UQD turned up a few pages in and ruffled feathers enormously! Thread is extinct now - it got to 1004 posts!

Sadly not much time for that MrsMH. I've had to get a job so less time for MNing, needs must!

No thumb, haven't seen that! UQD was quite, erm, forthright IIRC, but as a Cristian you get used to having your beliefs rubbbished and being treated like a dimwit. Atheists are apparently far superior intellectually.

Although there is a health warning on AIBU - I still believe it should be possible to disagree with someone in a civil and polite manner.

Ooh yes I can believe that, when he got going on a religion thread, there was no stopping him. His zeal is high - I'll say that for him! I don't think he's talking to me anymore though, ever since I said I was praying for him !

• I can't stand this attitude that anyone who believes in any form of higher power must be mentally deficient - personally I think anyone who needs "scientific proof" of everything before they will believe in it is seriously lacking in insight, imagination and flexibility of thinking! To say nothing of boundary pushing - how can you increase knowledge if you only believe in what is tested and proven? But I wouldn't dream of setting myself up to be shot down by people like him - I'm a sensitive flower, me!

Thumwitch: I once (after a v. long thread lasting several days) condensed it down to this: I asked UQD what I had to lose by believing, if it made me lead a happier, more peacful life? Why was he so determined to spoil it for me?
If I'm right, I said, I have had a happy life and go to heaven; if I'm wrong then I've lost nothing really.

If, however, UQD is wrong he could be in for quite a shock!

Can't remember what the answer was, I think he quoted some long theory and linked me to some document about 500 pages long that I couldn't be bothered to read, and I doubt would have meant much anyway!

ahhh, how refreshing to be among like-minded souls!

I once asked a friend who is of the 'scientific proof' ilk whether his love of Bob Dylan was purely scientifically provable, or whether there might just be some raw, unquantifiable emotion that grabbed him by the goolies.

He was, unusually, stumped.

surely what she is writing is another example of non-female-solidarity? I agree with the idea we need to be kind and thoughtful with each other though - while still upholding our values.

Helloo MrsMH and MrsSB, I'm still here and haven't slagged anyone off at all. I'm always a bit soft and just edge away from the catfights. I don't think it's anything new though. Just comes and goooooes in cycles.

Why is it non-female-solidarity to point out women's errors?

sorry I didnt explain very well.

I had that thought from reading the comments under the article such as "this is why I'd rather work with men" etc

I agree that we need to be reminded to maintain links & compassion with each other. I just think that it seems a bit samey. Ugh I am really not explaining myself well!

Its like saying "girls are so bitchy" because you dont think girls should be bitchy to each other. It is true but has a tinge of irony to it.

But I am running on a broken total of around 10 hours sleep in 72 so you should probably ignore whatever I am saying atm!

Hello Muffle Nice to see you all again. I'm off to bed now, night all.

muffle!!! Hiya, haven't seen you for ages! How are ya?

hereidraw - you poor, sleep-deprived thing! Get packing to your bed! I'll re-read the article as it's a while since I read it.

Just one thing - some of the the discussion topics are angling for a good discussion and the emotional involvement of the posters with the issues is going to decrease their fuses slightly - defensiveness of views in such as manor as that can be discussed is surely what these topics are about.

My issue with catyness has been some of the -cant be bothered to veiled attacks on individuals. Personal vendettas seem to be rather a large quantity at the mo. It is a shame as some of the discussions that seem to head in this direction have some very valid points that get lost in the bitchyness. Men are capable of being bitchy their just to stubborn to let it get to them. Their view is right and if you dont agree you are wrong

Seriously the whole point of Mnet is to get a range of opinions if everyone had the same opinion life would be pretty dull. Its just mannors and social niceties are sometimes shoved into the corner when emotions get involved.

ignore the spelling and grammar -its shocking

Social niceties are definitely not what I'm expecting here, Einstein'sMum, as I think I've already said. What I also don't expect (over the age of 21) is childish bitching.

I really dont explain myself very well...

I actually prefer the honesty of it. just not the personal attacks.

Am i actually making sense or still talking crap?