Public speaking

[Clarinet60]

I have to do a presentation at a conference soon. I haven't done one for a few years now, having got out of them the past few summers for pregnancy, m/c, and birth reasons. Basically, I turn into a jellyfish, shake all over and forget where I live and what my name is. My stress response system goes into overdrive and I can't control it. The problem isn't with preparation - I can write powerpoint pressies with my eyes shut - it's the delivery.
Has anyone out there any experience of how to overcome this? Anyone used hypnosis? Valium? Illegal drugs (only joking ...)
Thanks in anticipation, folks.

Droile, I used to do these and hated them too. I went on a course once and was told that I was supposed to make the adrenaline work for me to deliver a better performance. Hmmm, not sure about that one. Deep breathing before is good as it's almost impossible to panic while breathing deeply. Also, if you practice and practice it really does get quite boring and you're almost glad to finally do it so you never have to hear the words again. Sorry, can't be more helpful but expect someone else has better advice.

Droile, I second the practice idea. I have to give presentations frequently with my job and I HATE it. I usually terrified that I will be asked a question and will not know the answer. I've found that writing the presentation and knowing what you want to say is one thing, but until you actually say it out loud to someone (your DS's might do!) you'll find the places that will trip you up and with practice comes confidence. So practice practice practice and your delivery will become smoother.
Also remember that if you appear nervous then people automatically become less interested in what you have to say, do you think you could assume a false confidence? Toss your hair as you walk up to the stage, keep your chin up and smile, it all helps give the impression that you know what you are talking about. I?ve attached the ?Top 10 toastmaster tips? (yes some people do this for a hobby???? Ignore tip t10 then I think!)

1 . Know the ro o m . Be familiar with the place in which you will speak. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids.
2 . Know the audience. Greet some of the audience as they arrive. It?s easier to speak to a group of friends than to a group of strangers.
3 . Know your material. If you?re not familiar with your material or are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness will increase. Practice your speech and revise it if necessary.
4 . R e l a x . Ease tension by doing exercises.
5 . Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and assured. When you visualize yourself as successful, you will be successful .
6 . Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They don?t want you to fail.
7. Don?t apologize. If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any problems you think you have with your speech, you may be calling the audience?s attention
to something they hadn?t noticed. Keep silent.
8 . C o n c e n t rate on the message ? not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties and outwardly toward your message and your audience.
Your nervousness will dissipate.
9 . Turn nervousness into positive energy. Harness your nervous energy and transform it into vitality and enthusiasm .
10 . Gain experience. Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. A Toastmasters club can provide the experience you need.

Also remember that if you appear nervous then people automatically become less interested in what you have to say, do you think you could assume a false confidence? Toss your hair as you walk up to the stage, keep your chin up and smile, it all helps give the impression that you know what you are talking about. It sometimes helps to try and ignore the people present

not sure what happened there, i thought I'd deleted the last bit, ignore all bits after the tips!
Apparently imagining your audience naked helps too, but if you could see some of the men I've seen at my presentations, then that might not be such a good idea

Woe eefs, thanks for doing all that for me. I get nervous even reading about projecting confidence! I wish I could act it out, but I've never been able to pull it off. My voice sounds ok if I can stop quaking. It really is the effect of the adrenaline that stuffs me. I haven't a stammer, but I imagine that similar unstoppable associations must be at work.

I meant wow eefs. Even my typos are taking on doom-laden significance now. OHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!

just delivered training this last week, i was very nervous stood in front of colleagues. i found two things whichmayhelp

1. dont stand in one place, if posible use your space - you have the power walk around - make them nervous!

2. pause.
   this is really hard.
   you pause to gather where u are up to, gather your thoughts and remain on track -do it deliberatley do it mid slide after a certain bullet point. this way they think you are doing it for effect. look around the room and you will find people rousing from their inner thoughts and once againlooking at the presentation incase they have missed anything. and you have gathered your self - win win

I thought the old trick was to look straight at the most intimidating person in the room and imagine them naked. Not that it's easy to deliver a speech with the giggles, either.

Droile - practice & rehearse. It's the only way. Do it until the whole presentation is almost boring to you. Again and again and again and again and again etc (you get the idea).

The first 3-4 run-throughs will make you more nervous, as you realise where things don't hang together/where you'll run out of time/where you don't have enought time/where your materials are inadequate etc, but then after you've reorganised your preparation it'll start to fall into place.

If you can get someone to listen to the 5th/6th run throughs, their feedback/uncritical adulation might be useful.

I have been a teacher for 10 years ... put me in front of 300 kids and I am fine. Put me in front of 3 adults and I am a wreck!
One thing I have learned from experience is if I am doing my presentation from notes then I must not hold them. I shake so much that you can tell how nervous I am. So depending on the length I either learn it off by heart (I have a good memory) or I put them down and refer to them ...
Eye contact is important as is movement ... use your hands ...

I too turn to jelly in this situation, so have no good advice but wanted to wish you well anyway, Droile. One thought though- maybe it doesn't show as much as you think? I've often been amazed at largely positive feedback on the occasions I've done presentations or training- I've been a sweaty nervous wreck and thought that I was radiating that fact and that fact alone to my audience. Though I'm pretty sure that really perceptive people and those who know me better were able to tell that I was shitting my pants, the general audience couldn't, or at least were too kind to mention it as a major problem- phew! Best of luck anyway. I bet you're pretty damn good or they wouldn't be asking you to do it in the first place.

Agree with www, eefs and griffy

Practise, practise, practise:-

1. In front of a mirror
2. While taping yourself - to check clarity, timing, overall effect
3. In real time,wearing your suit/heels/earrings,
4. In front of colleagues or anyone who can give you feedback and think up likely questions.
5. Video yourself if you can.
6. Until you're sick to death of it.

You'll probably find out that you come across better by speaking louder and slower than seems possible, with more pauses.

I wouldn't risk taking diazepam/beta blockers or any of the other drugs people recommend - what if they make you slur your speech, or make you feel sick?

Congratulations and go for it.

Bachs rescu remedy. Two drops 10 minutes before will work wonders on your confidence.

Sympathies Droile, hate it too. I tried vodka once but that didnt work (I was so paranoid that people could smell the booze at 10 in the morning that it made me worse!). Then I had a really big presentation to do and after sweating for weeks, I found an hypnotherapist in the local paper. I was a bit cynical to start but it really helped (I only had one session). In fact my presentation was so successful that one of the audience told me I should make a living out of public speaking. I stil hate doing presentations but if I had an important one again I would certtainly consider a hypnosis session.

Hey everyone, I am new to the mumset thing. I was checking the spot to findout if anyone has any info on what to do about a 2 1\2 yr. old who won't pottie train and listen, tantrums and hitting me. I need help bad. I'm at my wits end.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my little one is a girl.

Thanks everyone. I know a hypnotherapist, so may well give this a go. I have some rescue remedy too. Practice till you're bored is really good advice.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ladebear24 - Welcome.

Mumsnet is split up into different sections dealing with different issues. This is a discussion loosely based on public speaking, so you probably won't get any response.

What you need to do is click on the section called Topics, then click on Behaviour/Development. You can then either look at previous discussions or start a new discussion. Starting a new discussion will probably get you the most response, try and include some examples of your childs behaviour.
Hope that helps.

Droile, good luck with the speaking and let us know how you get on.

Droile, have you Done It yet?

No eemie, not yet. I'm hoping to get out of it by keeping a very low profile ATM. Some hope, but worth a try.

I have one of these tomorrow, and quite apart from the terror of facing an audience, I have just realised that a) I now look pregnant and b) I have no formal clothes that fit. Argh. Oh well, maybe my audience will be so busy trying to decide whether I'm pg or just fat they won't be listening anyhow.

Hope it went ok Dannie - I assume you've now told your boss as its now obvious? Was he ok?

How did it go, Dannie?

let us know

hope everything is ok
xx