Public speaking

[Clarinet60]

I have to do a presentation at a conference soon. I haven't done one for a few years now, having got out of them the past few summers for pregnancy, m/c, and birth reasons. Basically, I turn into a jellyfish, shake all over and forget where I live and what my name is. My stress response system goes into overdrive and I can't control it. The problem isn't with preparation - I can write powerpoint pressies with my eyes shut - it's the delivery.
Has anyone out there any experience of how to overcome this? Anyone used hypnosis? Valium? Illegal drugs (only joking ...)
Thanks in anticipation, folks.

Well, I spent eaons preparing, had hypnotherapy, betablockers just in case, the lot. I took every one of your great hints on board too. And you'll never guess what.
The blighters cancelled the conference one week before it was due. You've no idea how keyed up I was. I'll have to go through the same thing all over again next year, unless I get a brian transplant. Cuh!

ohhhh no thats awful!

Too bad, you would have been great.

I got out of that last one, but I'm now roped in to speak at an even bigger, more prestigious venue in December.

I've lost all the ground I had gained, re preparation, and I'm tempted to just try and wing it this time. (Last time it seemed to take over my entire life.)

Any tips out there, because I feel so dreadful that I'm wondering whether to just change my job (although conferences are only once/twice year).
The hypnotherapy I tried last time was quite good, but cost £30 per hour and I'm a bit skint.

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Oh Dinosaur, poor you. Did the heart rate calm down while you were actually speaking?

Please spout as much shite as you can, Dadslib.
I think I really want to turn myself into the type of person who can just do this with no problems, and my brain is having trouble accepting the fact that there is no magic wand. Boo Hoo.

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Gosh - not sure how much I can help - I do this so often it's second nature... pretty much everything written here is good... I'm trying to remember how I got good at it, cos I did used to be very nervous....

• judge the length properly - if you write your presentation out, you will only get 100 words per minute, so a 1000 word speech will take 10 minutes at a decent pace.

• Go slowly, don't rush - you need to pause after pertinent points, and give people enough time to absorb what you've said.

• know the room, know the audience and know your material, and remember, you probably know far more about the subject than everyone else in the room, and they're more than likely to be impressed by the mere fact that you're up there speaking.

• To prepare properly, write out your speech, and practice endlessly until it sounds right (speach and writing is different, so you need to hear it aloud). Once you're confident, break the written speech down into a powerpoint bullet point presentation and throw the written speech away - never ever ever work with a script - you'll depend on it, and if you're struggling, you will start reading, lose eye contact and it'll fall apart. So once you know it, throw away the written version and work just from the powerpoint.

• Pick on 4 people to get eye contact with - if there are people you know in the audience, pick on them - one in the front, two in the middle (one each side) and one at the back. At the beginning of your speech, get eye contact established with each of them, and talk to them - then gradually, make eye contact with people sitting around them. This will help you build a relationship with the audience - which is crucial - you don't want to talk to the room, you need to talk to the people in it, which means there's got to be contact, and that's done with the eyes, and you'll do this by starting with individuals and then moving out to others.

• Be flexible and pick up on other stuff that's happened during the day - if one of your points resonates with what others have said in the day, don't be afraid to depart from your script and say "as so and so said earlier..." - also be flexible enough to respond to the mood of the audience - if they seem bored with a part of your talk, move quickly onto another bit...

• Starting with stories and jokes can be very effective - be chatty at the beginning and if you are able to make people laugh, do - it will win them over to you. Move into the serious stuff later

• Getting a rhythym between serious and non serious stuff - a shocking stat is more powerful if you have made people laugh and smile a minute before and then you drop a bombshell and pause. If you have a good rhythym, it can make you a pleasure to listen to.

• Don't ever apologise for mistakes or what you're saying

• work out exactly what you want people to come away with - if it's just one change in thinking then that's all you have to focus on. Be clear as to why you are speaking and what you're trying to achieve. Make sure your speech reflects your goals

• As dadslib said, let them know what you're going to say at the start (although I'd do that after having made them laugh/intro'ed yourself/thanked the organisers for letting you speak) AND let them know how much of their time you're going to spend on what, then say it, then recap and summarise.

• Finish with the heart of what you want to say - biol down your passion to one sentence and let that be the end

that's off the top of my head - and then add to that pretty much everything else people have written here

If you are going to use slides (ohp or equivalent), DON'T just have the same words on the slide that you are saying. Just put headings on slides, and expand the topic verbally.

Use colour slides carefully. Too much colour distracts, and avoid red text on green background or vice versa, as 25% of the male population are red-green colourblind, so won't be able to read it.

Don't have keys/change in your pockets, you WILL jingle them, and don't hold a pen or pencil, you WILL click a clicky biro, or twirl the pencil in your fingers, driving the audience mental.

Do smile, do know your topic well, even if you don't learn your speech by heart, do stand up straight (no swaying please) use a lecturn if you can.

And if this is going to be a regular thing, then get some training or practise. I joined an organisation called Junior Chamber in my 20's which gave me loads of opportunity to try these things (and other business skills). The experience gained their was invaluable.

Wow, thanks everyone, some great tips here.
I got palpitations just reading them and imagining ME doing all that, so I really think I'm in the wrong job, but thanks.

Best of luck Droile. This is my big stumbling block too, will always do my best to avoid this kind of thing. Great tips though, except maybe 'start with a joke' - from where though????????????? I would be far too nervous to start trying to crack gags.

The only advice that I have that other people haven't given is that you should realize that lots of famous, apparently laid back professional performers are also terrorized. The important thing isn't to learn not to be scared, it's to learn how to deal with the fear and work through it. I can tell you that I've been on the platforms when people were speaking apparently confidently, and been able to see them trembling behind the podium. If the audience can't tell, it doesn't count (but don't try to use a pointer if you're shaking!)

If you tend to go blank and forget what to say, write your talk out word for word and read it aloud. Yeah, people tell you not to do that, and it's not ideal, but as long as you read it well, and look at the audience frequently, it will be fine. Better yet, have it written out word for word, and then say it freely without reading it, just referring to the written text if you blank.

I started reading word for word and now improvise happily in most situations, but it took some time, and I'm still scared every time. Once I get started, the adrenaline starts to run, and I'm OK, and then people say nice things to me, and it's been incredibly useful for me, so it's all worth it.

Good luck Droile!

thanks wicked.
And thanks california girl, I think I'll cling onto your advice. I do go blank and couldn't possibly memorise it.
I think I have been trying to learn not to be scared and that's been my downfall. I should face the fear.
£^

The conference is next week.
I've tried to memorise it but it's too big, so I'm going to have to read it out, as I keep blanking.
I'm even nervous in front of the mirror, so I'm going to be pretty bad on the day.
I know I've received all the advice there is and all good, but just wondered if there was any other little tip out there that I haven't heard, a gem that's been hiding? Before I turn into a total jellyfish.

Absolutely nothing wrong with reading it, as long as you look up regularly to make eye contact with the audience. Focus first on reading it in a good strong voice. If you have any attention to spare, worry about looking up periodically. Whatever happens, keep going, and don't apologize or back up on purpose (if you accidentally read the same thing twice, just keep on going).

In this situation, you don't need to do a perfect job, just good enough. Most of your audience is also terrified by public speaking and will be sympathetic.

thanks cg.

Hynotherapy? Seriously, just to learn stress control. Good luck.

Thanks Tinker, I've been having some. It works up to a point, but I think you have to really saturate it. It's £30 /hr, so I couldn't afford to do much.

make the audience do the work with phrases like
"what do you think?" "any comments?" ask the audience questions - write their answers on a flip chart - and get others to comment on them.

an icebreaker - have you got a little quiz or something funny as an icebreaker? everyone is so arsey at these things it usually a good trick - like the picture of a lady - only the picture has two ladies - you just have to look harder - something like that.

good luck

Hi
I am a sad/sick person who loves public speaking but I didn't use to be so confident. The key is really to know your topic and practice. I have only read 3/4 of the below so may repeat some things.
Try to think of the questions the audience may ask you - then plan and reherse your answers. Dress to suit the venue/audience and so you feel comfortable.
If you lose your train of thought make a joke of it at your own expense, take a breath, maybe a glass of water, then recap where you were.
If you don't know an answer admit it, don't try to fob the audience off. Nobody knows everything.
Don't get drawn into a debate - you may become flustered, invite them to catch you at the break and move on to take a question from somebody else or finish.
Will revisit this later when DS stops swining from my neck for attention... Good luck

sibble I am another sad person who loves public speaking.
Droile, just remember if you are the person giving the talk you probably know more about your subject than anyone else in the room.
One final tip - err on the side of brevity.
Good luck.