Now we know who is middle class - next, who is posh?

[Takver]

following on from this thread I was tickled yesterday by two definitions of what is posh:

• talking to a friend about croquet, which I think is a really tedious game, her answer was that only posh people play croquet, and that the problem was that I was not posh enough . . .
• and description by dd's friend (age 8) of the woman her mum cleans for that she is 'really posh, she has double sky that you can record on as well as watch, and a fountain that looks like stone but is really made out of plastic, and loads of trophies from horseriding' So now I want the collective wisdom of MN - apart from croquet playing and fake stone fountains, what is really, really posh ?

I wouldn't say it;'s bollocks. It's true of my dp's parents certainly and others I've met.

Of course there are also differences. One is an extremely priviledged class who had access to the best education, though I find that the upper class don't value education quite as much as other classes do.

It isn't bollocks at all.I find working class and upper mix well at parties etc as they are just themselves and have nothing to prove.Middle classes always judging and competing Seems v stressful.

I think huge sweeping generalisations are always bollocks

I still don't see the problem with a Saw themed ride Pointy.

lol

I knew I'd seen your name somewhere recently. You card.

Thunderduck's description, 'It is true that they are rather like the working classes.They tend towards eccentricity, they generally don't care what others think of them, they are both very comfortable in their own skin, the furniture tends to be scruffy and doesn;t quite match.
Their homes tend to be filled with kitchsy plates and ornaments. It's certainly true of my dp's parents. And they tend to call a spade a spade.'
would describe my parents to a tee. And they are middle.
And I know many working class people who are obsessed with appearance, cleanness, with things matching, with what others think of them.
These generalisations just don't ring true for me.

I'd associate those things with the lower middle class. If we're going to divide them into sub groups.

Every working class home i've been in has been very clean. Cluttered yes but clean absolutely. I don't mean dirty, untidy or cluttered doesn't mean unclean. They've always been very houseproud.

Of course these are very crude generalisations but I've found them to be true of many. I gave away my copy of Watching The English, no idea why as I loved that book, or I'd quote from it.

LOL, I can't find that thread now Pointy. We'll have to agree to disagree over the ride, even though we both know I'm right.

every working class house is most certainly not clean

WHo wrote Watching teh English, by the way? Enid Blyton?

No they aren't all clean, but most seem to be particuarly houseproud. I can't claim the same, I'm too lazy.

A sociologist wrote it I think, or an anthropologist. I can't remember which.

Twas Kate Fox. Very interesting it is too.

'most seem to be particularly houseproud'

What is this, a Victorian gentlewoman's observations of the working classes?

I read that book too, it was interesting, I kept giving it to foreign people to read to understand how pubs work and similar things.

For some reason the only thing anyone can ever remember about 'middle class' is that apparently they are trying to be something they're not. It's a shame.

I wish. Well not a Victorian gentlewoman. I wouldn't care for the Victorian part, no internet in those days.

helena99

Are you implying that I should feel awkward about "my roots showing"? (snorts with derision)- how utterly ridiculous. I'm highly satisfied that my roots are from decent working class stock.

I don't particularly like having been catapulted into the professional middle classes by virtue of my educational achievements and success. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the fringe benefits but don't care much for the peer group(find them tedious).

"My father went to private school and came from a 'nice' family. He is the most unsnobbish person I know and chats to anyone, he has a quiet confidence but puts everyone at ease. He wouldn't dream of looking down on (or up to) anyone and has no angst about class whatsoever. "

That's a true 'gent' jajas

jajas - sounds like my father. One of the nicest most easy-going person I know. If I could be like him I'd be very proud.

I've no doubt there are some stuck up upper class people. I've met a few, including one of my dp's sisters who makes it obvious that I'm not good enough for him,because I'm not ''one of them''. She's a witch.

DP is one of the least confident people I've ever known, but there's a long list of reasons for that, and he is an exception to the general rule.

Agree with Dittany. I used to work for a Duke. He had no money to speak of, and no castle, so had to work for a living (and did very well at it).

But what distinguished him was exactly that, he had nothing to prove. He knew exactly who he was and that gave him an inner confidence. He behaved exactly the same with people regardless of who they were, but also wasn't afraid of saying what he thought if he really believed it. I learnt a lot from working for him when I was 25.

And that's different from the confidence/arrogance of most poshos; that's instilled in them in public schools and Oxbridge, and is mostly bluster.

"It's nothing to be proud of"

I think that being someone who puts everyone at their ease is something to be proud of, whatever the reasons. What an odd thing to say dittany.

I agree hmc the trappings are nice and are mainly money related but some of the people are dull as dishwater and a tad desperate