Now we know who is middle class - next, who is posh?

[Takver]

following on from this thread I was tickled yesterday by two definitions of what is posh:

• talking to a friend about croquet, which I think is a really tedious game, her answer was that only posh people play croquet, and that the problem was that I was not posh enough . . .
• and description by dd's friend (age 8) of the woman her mum cleans for that she is 'really posh, she has double sky that you can record on as well as watch, and a fountain that looks like stone but is really made out of plastic, and loads of trophies from horseriding' So now I want the collective wisdom of MN - apart from croquet playing and fake stone fountains, what is really, really posh ?

I worry about my son who is approaching bilingual here in Germany. The economy is dire and we may have to return to the UK where he will say "Yah/Ja" when questioned. He will sound posh and be ridiculed won't he?

Feck. Arse...

i have decided i am too posh to push, as the memories of labour come closer, so i am officially posh for now.

I agree with Swedes that the upper classes and the working classes have most in common - they understand themselves and aren't trying to be something they aren't. The middle classes are the ones having a perpetual identity crisis and "keeping up with the Joneses" as it were.

We've done this before, I was told I was upper middle class to upper class (although I am not rich and some of my furniture even comes from Ikea).

georgimama just reminded me - her father (or perhaps Grandfater?) served in the army with "mountbatten" and had a signed photo on the stairs. I think they liked me as my Dad served in the same army regiment

I recall an Old Etonian who moaned that the University didn't empty the waste bin in his Halls of Residence room - he was thoroughly scandalised

I think I love you Swedes

pmsl @ mamazon! (thankgod you've changed your name back!)

(can we leave off the middle class stuff for now? 'middle class anxiety' is not the be-all and end-all)

I got my passport photo signed by a respectable member of society to say I was who I said I was, he put his occupation down as 'retired admiral'. That's pretty posh!

I think it's bollocks that the upper classes aren't aspirational. If someone is an Hon they show off about hanging out with dukes, if they're dukes they make sure they cultivate royalty. The photo of the queen on the grand piano did not get there by accident.

Retired admiral is pretty good. I was reduced to asking dd's teacher as I couldn't think of anyone else I knew who was respectable enough.
Perhaps furniture is the defining factor:
Posh - don't need to buy furniture (pace Alan Clark/Michael Heseltine)
MC - do buy furniture, but not on the never-never
WC - anyone else

Agree with Kathy - the upper classes can be very aspirational. Just look at all the royal hangers on and the minor royals....

I remember being told by someone quite posh when I was at uni that X was a Prussian princess - she was in complete awe of this fact. All I could think of to say was "I didn't think Prussia existed anymore", which went down like a lead balloon!

Like the don't need to buy furniture definition.

Croquet will definitely not do it (unless you count having your own lawn) as I and many of my friends have played and we're not posh.

Retired Admiral is very definitely upper class.

I don't understand Kathyis's analogy about the Queen and the grand piano. Whachu on abaaaat Kaffy?

I am posh

they dont drive nice cars
posh people do not need to try at all

they just are

Well me and my wife fit well over 90% of the categories and definitions suggested so far - we have even ridden polo ponies in Argentina, and live in two houses but are both from very poor lower middle class backgrounds.

We are not posh at all and feel ourselves to be classless. We do not aspire to a higher station in life. We have no station.

I suppose someone with a noble hereditary title of some kind of 'posh' but TBH we have met many people that meet that definition and some are as ordinary as you or I.

The royal hangers on aren't toffs though. And the royal family are a bit different aren't they? They are all from the same isolated village...... in Germany.

Georgimama said they have a photo of the queen on the piano. I think this is an example of them being aspirational, or they wouldn't even have bothered taking a photo, let alone putting it somewhere to make sure everyone sees it.

AbetaDad You were doing very well with your classless society but you blew your cover with this line:

"and some are as ordinary as you or I"

Well doncha know, doncha know.

Kathyis - don't you take photos of your friends and relatives when they visit?

swedes i like your style

I live in a very aspirational town

the proper posh aspire to nothing

Swedes - fair point but what I was going to add but deleted was the following:

"and some look down on everyone around them and that makes them snobs even if they are posh."

I went to a couple of the NCT meetings in Brussels - local group was near the EU. Discussions were filled with what was the best gym (membership fees approaching my monthly wage), where to buy ball gowns, what happened at the such and such embassy last time they went for dinner, and a classic "my house is so large I don't feel I can justify putting on the heating when the dcs are at school" - something I totally did not know how to respond to. . They were/are all really lovely people, but I did feel out of my depth somewhat. What happened to buckets of wine and potty training?

SuziS - Do we live in the same town?

Bloke took Girldog to agility classes last year (imagine an 8 stone rottie jumping through a tyre...it was hilarious, but she was actually quite good) and made friends with a girl there. At Christmas she gave him a bottle of wine 'from Daddy's vineyard' - I consider her to be our most posh friend.

The poshest people in my village don't have a buggy but push their twins around in a wheelbarrow.