Honest answers sought - what would you do if you accidentally damaged someone's car and no one saw you do it?

[Earlybird]

Here is the scenario: This morning, I went to finalise arrangements for dd's birthday party. I got everything done, and then drove to the supermarket. As I was leaving my car/walking into the store, I noticed a large dent in my car. Whoever parked next to me at the party venue (a gym) must have opened their car door into the passenger side of my car with enormous force. There is no way they simply 'didn't realise' - it's not a little bump - the dent is deep and fairly big.

I know accidents happen with dc who fling doors open etc, but there was no note left. I now either live with/try to ignore the ugly mark on my fairly new car (which I take good care of, btw), or pay to have it fixed (and even little cosmetic repairs seem to cost ££).

What would you have done if you or the dc accidentally damaged someone's car? Am I completely unrealistic to be angry that no note was left? Tbh, that is what infuriates me more than the dent!

I'd have got back in my car and driven off, sorry. Unless I thought I had been seen.

I doubt many people will admit to driving off though.

I would leave a note.. because this has happened to me before and cost quite a bit to get fixed, ( not that the person who did it gave a toss) and it's flipping wrong to walk away from damage you have caused.

Personally I'd leave a note with contact details but i have previously had the same happen to my car and no note

I would have left a note and I'm not just saying that I would, I really would.

This happened to me last year - I left a note and the lady who phoned was really nice - said she was so thankful to me for being honest. Made me feel a bit better about it actually.

I will admit to being precious enough to often park far away so am not near other cars - precisely because I don't want my car to get accidentally dinged - which seems unavoidable in the small spaces provided in public car parks.

Ruby - good idea, but don't think there is CCTV in this location.

I scraped someones car and panicked. I moved to a better space and phoned hubby to ask what I should do. He said to leave a note. I went and bought a pad and pen and went back to the car. There was nothing marked at all on the car but mine was all scratched. Didn't seem any point leaving a note when there was nothing wrong with their car and all the damage on mine.

I scraped a car when I was parking in a side street a couple of years ago and I did leave a note - the guy rang me later and was so nice about it I felt pleased with myself!

This has happened to me. The wind caught my car door. I was writing the note out when the person came back to their car, so I said "I'm very sorry, I've caught your door" and waved the note I was writing at them, so they knew I wasn't just buggering off

What I have done is leave a note. I could of course have driven off. In fact I could probably have justified it on the grounds that another sizeable dint on the car would just balance it out nicely.

Actually I followed up on the note and went and knocked on the door of the house to which the car looked as though it belonged. To my surprise, the owner's flatmate was pretty rude. Then again y'know, honesty should be its own reward.

I did hear a fantastically heartening story a couple of weeks ago though. Someone dinted a colleague's car in the station carpark. A witness saw it, took down the name and number, and reported it to the police, who were able to corroborate the witness's statement with the cctv footage. The dinter was interviewed under caution and is now being prosecuted.

I know what would do as I hit a parked car just before Christmas and damaged the headlight and the front end of it a bit. Nobody saw and of course, the thought of just driving on flashed through my head. But, I couldn't do that. So I left a note and paid for the damage when contacted in a very amicable resolution. I can sleep at night peacefully this way but don't think I could had I chosen the other course.

Interesting (and reassuring) that most people who have done this have left a note - or would do if the situation arose.

Geepers may be right though that those who would drive off simply won't post here.

Geepers - I'm curious as to whether you'd feel guilty or uneasy? (Not asking to have a go, am genuinely curious about the logic/justification.) And just to humour me, do you have conversations with dc about respecting another person's property?

I have been in your situation, and it is extremely annoying, BUT I would have done the same as the person who damaged your car, I'm afraid to say.

Have left notes, would leave a note.

Though I must say, only if there is some sort of visible damage, or if the crunch was so bad that I feel there must have been some damage even if I can't see it.

You can tell I do this a bit too often for comfort, really.

there is a story about someone denting another person's car and leaving a note some thing along the lines of:
" I have just dented your car. Everyone who saw it thinks I am leaving you my details. I am not."

sorry about yours tho

Until last January I'd have left a note. But some total bstard (presumably in a large van/ delivery lorry) stoved in the back of my brand new car while it was parked off the road on my drive and drove off quick, so now I think I'd do the same. Police weren't interested at all, and despite the fact that the second I get in my car someone comes along the road, nobody saw a thing.

But I never let my kids fling open the car doors, so I wouldn't have been in the OP's situation.

I have done this actually. As I got out my car at work the wind caught the door and made a mahoosive dent in the car door next to me.
I initially drove off knowing that no-one saw me, but then I thought about how I'd feel if someone did that to me, so I drove back round and left a note and my number.

The guy phoned me and was so grateful that I had been honest, he was really lovely, he said he'd get it checked at a garage and then never rang me back to pay for the repairs, which i think is called karma

However, if some arse parks so close to me that I can barely squeeze in the door, then I make a point of banging mine into theirs

I am honest to a fault (sometimes to my own detriment) and programmed to feel deeply guilty about most everything that is/could be my 'fault'. I literally cannot conceive of damaging someone eles's property and not acknowledging/apologising.

On some level, I am fascinated by the thought processes/logic of those who feel no responsibility/guilt or who scarper.

this happened to me in the school car park this week - a big dent in the back door and the bastard drove off and parked somewhere else. It has cost me 2 years no claims bonus and probably a hike in price next year so I wasnt best pleased. it is going in next week to get fixed. They have cctv but it pans round the school grounds and wasnt at my car when the incident happened and no-one has come forward as a witness either.