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Original poster

Honest answers sought - what would you do if you accidentally damaged someone's car and no one saw you do it?

50 replies

Earlybird · 21/02/2009 17:46

Here is the scenario: This morning, I went to finalise arrangements for dd's birthday party. I got everything done, and then drove to the supermarket. As I was leaving my car/walking into the store, I noticed a large dent in my car. Whoever parked next to me at the party venue (a gym) must have opened their car door into the passenger side of my car with enormous force. There is no way they simply 'didn't realise' - it's not a little bump - the dent is deep and fairly big.

I know accidents happen with dc who fling doors open etc, but there was no note left. I now either live with/try to ignore the ugly mark on my fairly new car (which I take good care of, btw), or pay to have it fixed (and even little cosmetic repairs seem to cost ££).

What would you have done if you or the dc accidentally damaged someone's car? Am I completely unrealistic to be angry that no note was left? Tbh, that is what infuriates me more than the dent!

OP posts:

Seona1973 · 21/02/2009 20:24

p.s. mine is about £700/800 damage btw so not just a gentle knock to the side

EyeballsintheSky · 21/02/2009 20:27

DH scraped someone car last year trying to squeeze through a gap, and I do mean literally scraped. No dent, nothing. He is polite to a fault and went into the building the car was in front of, ascertained the car belonged to someone inside, left a note with all his details and a profuse apology. Turns out she was a complete nutter. Tried to get him to pay over a grand for damages, a car while it was being fixed plus something for the hassle. His insurance told him to pay no such thing and to leave it to them to sort but it was a good four or five months before we heard the last of her. He'll drive off next time.

shonaspurtle · 21/02/2009 20:27

Someone did this to me a couple of months ago. I am still

Those that would just drive off, would you have been as quick to nick £200 out of my purse if you'd been able to get away with it without anyone seeing .

It's a criminal offence btw, if someone does manage to get your numberplate without you realising you'll lose more than your excess.

Original poster

Earlybird · 21/02/2009 21:27

The dent is a couple of inches long and deep - so can't ignore and 'get over it'. Everytime I see it, I get wound up all over again.

In the long run will probably be better to simply pay to have it fixed, but there are many other things I would rather spend on atm.

Infuriating to have to pay for someone else's carelessness and dishonesty.

OP posts:

nannyL · 21/02/2009 23:59

I have a similar dent in my car door

an actual dent where someone must have opened their door very very hard

tbh i dont really care about it and never have, even when i first noticed it.
Its a car / piece of metal and if thats all thats wrong with it im happy!

IMO its to be expected when you park in car parks.

though it i can see why it could be very very annoying.

also an exboss of mine reversed into it and scraped the bumper... you can just about see it and im not bothered about that either, and never have been!

Original poster

Earlybird · 22/02/2009 01:54

I can understand the point of view that it is 'only' a car. I agree there is something liberating when you don't mind about a big dent or don't care much if someone bumps into you. I was the same when I was given my nan's old car to drive. Dents didn't matter much as the car had seen many years of faithful service.

nannyL - if you don't mind me asking - how old is your car?

The point here is that whoever dinged the car showed a reckless disregard for my property, and then took no responsibility - leaving me to deal with/pay for the damage. In my book, it is wrong wrong wrong to treat someone else that way.

OP posts:

nannyL · 22/02/2009 10:29

my car is getting old now but it was dented in a car park when it was very new.

i have never sorted it or paid to have it sorted as it never actually bothered me.

tbh i almost expect to have other car doors bashed into mine in tight car parks. I think if you drive into another car than a note must always be left unless there is no damage / mark at all

I agree people should leave notes...
twice i have watched drivers damage cars and drive off and I have left a note to the driver saying "here is the regestration of the car that dented yours, my name and number" (Once it was a van who took out the whole off side... hit it once realised.... and kept going as he was desperate to get his van in a tiny space that u would struggle to park a mini ... thne he gave up a drove away... he had seriosuly damaged the car, insurance might have even written it off

edam · 22/02/2009 10:36

would leave a note (have actually done this IRL - at least, dh has, I haven't passed my test and thank heavens haven't managed to bash anyone's car during lessons so far. Touch wood!)

ProfessorCalculus · 22/02/2009 10:39

I saw an enormous 4x4 smash into another car once. It did quite a lot of damage and I'm sure the driver must have known but they drove off anyway. I was
So I made a note of the registration number and passed it on to the owner of the other car when they appeared. He was very grateful.

edam · 22/02/2009 10:40

shonaspurtle's analogy is v. good, btw, driving off without leaving details is just as bad as nicking someone's purse.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 22/02/2009 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

conniedescending · 22/02/2009 10:48

Someone did this to my car and didn't leave a note.

But some people who saw then doing it did and left me a note with the registration of the car and a description of the man.

police not interested in the slightest

sobanoodle · 22/02/2009 11:13

Someone last yr tried to squeeze their huge car into the space next to mine, breaking my entire rear light panel (brake/reversing), and leaving a deep gouge in the bumper too. i know they tried several times to manoevre into the space as when i got back a lovely young mum from the flat opposite which I was parked, came out and told me. She also said the driver was about to disappear without leaving a note, until she quietly confronted him and shamed him into doing it.

She then rapidly disappeared back indoors before i could get her name. But later i dropped off a little toy through the letter box for her dd.

The driver's details checked out and I was really pleased to get a chequefor £200+ ish for the repair to the lights. I let the bumper go (why ??) as it already had a small scratch or two and i thought driver would get arsey and deny responsibility for that.

Funny thing is, later i googled his name and he's a local restaurant ownner not short of a penny or two (though now that it's credit crunch, who knows ?)

MitchyInge · 22/02/2009 11:18

I'm a note leaver, am too convinced by the laws of karma (or sowing and reaping as was drilled into me as a child)

so it's not commendable honesty but fear of it happening to me

Maveta · 22/02/2009 11:29

ooh I don´t know. I think I would have left a note. Mainly because something similar happened to me. I was parked on a corner and a car turning the corner had misjudged and plowed along the front corner of my car. I was really impressed to see an apologetic note from the person who did it along with contact no. etc etc.

I´d feel awful sneaking away and leaving someone to find that and then pay for it themselves.

Thunderduck · 22/02/2009 11:47

Leave a note of course.

Thunderduck · 22/02/2009 11:48

Anyone who drives off ought to be ashamed of themselves for their cowardice.

VanillaPumpkin · 22/02/2009 11:49

I would leave a note of course. Would people really drive off?

StealthPolarBear · 22/02/2009 11:53

I have done this, and left a note on the windscreen.
Turns out a friend of hers saw me do it, but didn't want to get involved.

Seona1973 · 22/02/2009 13:17

well mine is a lease hire car so the damage would have to be paid for at some point as the car will go back to the lease hire company - I cant just leave it and think 'oh its just a car' as it is not mine to leave like that. The car that hit mine was trying to get into the space beside me and misjudged it - it must be another parent at the school and they will be avoiding me now.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2009 13:19

i'd have left a note. cameras are everywhere, you may think you weren't seen but you were.

also, that's pretty shite. i'd be bummed if someone did that to my car and drove off, why do that to someone else.

some fucker skid into my car parked in the street in denver and i had to have the entire door replaced. they drove off. dickhead.

edam · 22/02/2009 14:26

Seona, if I were you I'd be telling all the other parents in the playground. 'Can you believe someone drove off without leaving their details? What kind of person behaves like that?' so the gossip gets back to the perpetrator and makes them feel ashamed.

Kitsilano · 22/02/2009 14:30

Definitely leave a note and have done so in the past. I could never just drive off.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 22/02/2009 18:10

I would leave a note.

I had someone do £300 worth of damage to my car once and not leave a note. Just before Xmas when DH was redundent. I rememebr how awful it was having to find the money.

Original poster

Earlybird · 22/02/2009 22:23

I've had a previous good experience with this dilemma. As a student, I'd worked weekends/summers for years and had saved hard. I bought my first new car with cash, and was extremely proud of it.

I parked to go shopping, and when I came back the entire side of the car was dented. Seems an old lady had completely misjudged distances whilst trying to park. She left a note, thankfully, and was most apologetic when contacted. Her insurance paid to have the damage repaired.

OP posts:

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