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Original poster

Playdate etiquette - is it me???

75 replies

emkana · 07/04/2005 19:00

We went for a playdate today - to the house of one of dd1's nursery friends. There was girl X there who is nearly seven and girl Y who is nearly four, just like my dd1. Girl X spent the afternoon in her parents' darkened bedroom, watching The Incredibles. Girl Y spent the afternoon playing on the Cbeebies website in her bedroom. My dd1 and dd2 were basically left to their own devices. Dd1 spent ages just looking on as girl Y played on the computer. The mother didn't say anything to her daughters and just said to me something like "Oh well, what are they like."
Is it me or is this not quite right?
I mean girl X is obviously older and it wasn't her friend, so fair enough, even though I still think it's a bit sad. But girl Y...

OP posts:
Fimbo · 07/04/2005 20:41

My dd is usually really hyper when she is having a friend round to play and is jumping up and down at the door waiting for them to arrive!!! Tv/computer would be the last thing on her mind.

binkybetsy · 07/04/2005 20:41

(Stands up in the style of anonymous support group meeting and admits)

I turn tv's off in other people's houses

Original poster
emkana · 07/04/2005 20:43

That's the thing, fimbo -
dd1 was so excited about going and really looking forward to it, and I felt so sorry for her...

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 07/04/2005 20:44

I just think it's a really really sad state of affairs when children think watching something/playing on the computer is more appealing than playing with other children.

OP posts:
flashingnose · 07/04/2005 20:46

I'm really really shocked by this! Turning TV off in other people's houses!! How were you to know what the Mum had planned? If they were watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre, fair enough, but CBeebies??? Good grief.

sorrel · 07/04/2005 20:46

if dd has someone to play i usually ban all screen time ie the computer and tv are switched off. the whole point is that they do something together.usually this means wellies on out to the tree house or made up game or making/drawing something or whatever. If they look tired at the end of the afternoon i'll let them choose a video or watch CBBc while i make tea( usually half an hour). I hate going over to people's houses where the TV is on all the time! So rude and distracting.

Original poster
emkana · 07/04/2005 20:47

TBH I wouldn't turn the TV off at somebody else's house but I wouldn't be happy for the TV to be on. What is the point of a playdate if the watch TV???

OP posts:
Fimbo · 07/04/2005 20:47

Its horrible Emkana when things like that happen. My dd was invited to someone's house, where the other child wouldn't let her play with any of her toys (they are both 6, so not a territorial thing), my dd burst into tears and they ended up watching Shrek (at the other child's request) twice!!. I have never asked the child round to my house.

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 20:49

Sorry, my post sounded very stroppy . I'll sometimes put the TV on while we're waiting for people to arrive (to distract my kids from asking "when are they here" every minute), but yes, agree, would not have it on except at the end if everyone had run out of steam. But I'm afraid I would be mightily p*ssed off if a visiting Mum marched in and switched the TV off!

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 20:51

hehe flashingnose, don't invite me round then!

sorrel · 07/04/2005 20:52

or me ! someone gave me a TVBGONE for Cristmas!

binkybetsy · 07/04/2005 20:53

The way I see it is they're over there to play, and tbh everyone we would go to knows exactly what I'm like.
If I go round friends' for a girly night with wine etc, I will turn the tv off after about 5 minutes if we're in conversation and noone was watching it.
I think it's more rude for the host to have it on.
But then I'm a tv hater really, other than the odd programme. My kids will no doubt hate this stance when they get older.

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 20:53

Excellent! I'd be walking up and down the road with it, aiming it at windows...

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 20:53
Grin
Original poster
emkana · 07/04/2005 20:54

What's a TVBGONE?

OP posts:
sorrel · 07/04/2005 20:55

MP it is fantastic!

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 20:55

A remote control that turns OFF virtually any TV! How great is THAT?

victoriapeckham · 07/04/2005 20:55

What is so sacred about a TV? well done MorningPaper. No wonder children are obese when playing with other kids is interpreted as sitting passively in front of a screen.

I have removed lead from computer this holiday. I am completely sick of their crack-addicted behaviour in front of it. real friends are more important than virtual ones, it is up to us to tell our children that. Enkana: that mother was lazy, rude and anti social.

sorrel · 07/04/2005 20:56

It's a little gadget that attaches to a keyring with a remote control. It will turn off ANY tv at the touch of a button.

sorrel · 07/04/2005 20:59

s'fab

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 21:00

OK, so you're all allowed to tap away on MN but they have to weave baskets, yes?

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 21:00

I need one in case I'm ever invited on a playdate again...

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 21:01

My 2 year old is welcome to develop stimulating and intelligent relationships with anyone via the computer...

But Roley Mo... no no no! The Roliest Mole You'll Ever Know? zap with my TVBGONE.

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 21:03

I'm off to watch some telly now...

binkybetsy · 07/04/2005 21:04

I WANT ONE!!