Do you think the Government should offer Parenting Classes?

[Rhubarb]

Custy first gave me this idea.

If you think of parenting as a job, you wouldn't take someone on in a demanding role who didn't have good references, no experience, a criminal record, a history of substance abuse and who had turned up late for the interview would you? Yet anyone can be a parent. It's one of the toughest, demanding jobs going. If you were to pay a nanny to look after your kids, you'd have to pay them a high price and you'd be expecting a lot in return.

Who supports the mother whose own family have abandoned her, who flits from boyfriend to boyfriend, no steady job and no real idea of the concepts of love and respect because she's never been shown any?

I don't know if any of you saw the Panorama - or was it Dispatches? - programme about behaviour in primary schools, but I work in a primary school and I can tell you that it's all true. And set to get worse.

So what if the government provided parenting classes? Do you think this would make a difference? Would you have gone to a parenting class when you were pregnant with your first?

Ideas/opinions/thoughts on this please?

First of all, had a little at Rhubarb and Custard discussing parenting classes.

Next, do they not? After ds was born I was given information about a post-natal parenting class, it ran over a four week period and covered crying, feeding, weaning, resusitation, and other early days things. I did go to 1st session, but was a bit and what the talker (think she was a hv) was saying.

I hate the idea of government parenting classes if they were compulsory. Free, optional ones would be great though.
I completely buy the idea that parenting is something you have to learn, but people learn well in different ways and not everyone learns best through classes.

I completely agree that a lot of parenting and family life is sorely lacking.

I think that the "anything goes" "no judgement" culture in the UK has a lot to answer for when it comes to irresponsible parenting.

Surely people who behave responsibly themselves are the best role model for children? Do we need to provide parenting classes? Surely we need to change the culture of acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour across society as a whole?

They would have to be free of course and perhaps an incentive could be offered to attend?

It's not going to solve everything, but it's just an idea. I fully believe that the government should be focusing on parents and parenting rather than schooling etc.

It already does - I started them last week. Not just post-natal, this is a proper 12 week course about parenting 0-5s and beyond. And it's free with a free creche too!

It's a shame they're not more widely publicised and available though, especially to the people who really need them.

Our SureStart offers them, as does the dds' primary school. They also have a special 'family adviser' who will talk to you one-on-one and even visit you at home if you request support. I think this is brilliant - didn't realise it wasn't as available to all.

No, I wouldn't have gone to a parenting class. I feel the government is bossy enough as it is. I was a grown woman when I gave birth, not 13 years old.

If the government is so great at parenting, why do children who grow up in care tend to have such appalling adult lives?

they do here at the children's centre and i got a fab book at the time which was very practical

But surely the dynamic would be that those who need it the most wouldn't attend and the over-anxious, involved parent would just have more to worry about??

Surely this would fall under life skill and should be part of a school curriculum - along with financial education and social responsibilities, civic duties and basic cooking?

I've run one with a friend in a local primary school.

The people who need them don't come - it's all people like who are on mumsnet (constant worriers/happy to take advice/striving for better relationships with the children).

If we want an actual effect on society (reduce crime, promote community etc) we need to make them compulsory.

They are offered in our area to anyone who wants them - but as ever there are not enough to meet demand. The social workers also refer into them at times as well. They are run by our local children's centre. One of my HV colleagues also runs a Webster Stratton parenting course.
I think they are a good idea (but shouldn't be compulsory) but the root causes of poor parenting need to be tackled as well - most parenting courses seem very behaviour orientated but unless you deal with the factors causing that behaviour it's a dead loss.

We had child care on the school curriculum, but it seemed such a remote and theoretical prospect at the time that most of us didn't take any of it in.

When I was expecting dd1 I felt overwhelmed by how little I knew about actually looking after a baby - and I was lucky enough to have my mum and other family members on hand.

If my local health centre had offered something as a kind of follow-up to the antenatal classes they held, I very likely would have gone along. As it was, I had very little idea about looking after a baby beyond what the 0-5 booklet and a few parenting magazines had told me, but luckily DH had a small niece and had been taught a bit in school, plus the midwife came round a few times to make sure we were getting on ok.

But I think many parents, specially those who need it most, would be wary of anything "the government" provided, specially if it seemed to be pushing one agenda, or judging people on their choices, so it would have to be carefully done.

we already have them too

What sort of things would be covered in these courses? Or currently are?

I don't have any experience unlike Jollypirate but I agree with her, especially

"the root causes of poor parenting need to be tackled as well"

Well, whatever the government does I doubt the people
described in the OP are going to benefit much
as they have a lifestyle problem first and foremost.

For anyone who wants to improve their parenting
there is a huge amount of support and knowledge available,
including, of course, forums like this.

Hi Rhubs

They offer them here in secondary school for parents whose children are disengaged.

i think it is a little late by that stage.

I htink the children's centres do the same but fror younger children.

I went to a parenting course last year - it was very good. I wasn't sure what it was going to involve but it centred around reasonable boundaries/negotiating with your children. It was good to go just to get RL feedback from other parents/professionals.

I'd recommend them - it was as much fun as my ante-natal class but they probably only reach the ones who don't need the information so much.

Rhubarb, do you have a view on why behaviour is deteriorating so badly in primary schools and why it is getting worse? Would parenting classes supply something which used to be present and now isn't - what is that something???

I did a parenting course and a postnatal course from the HVs. The postnatal course was a ragbag of plugs for various organisations round town (including the highly dubious IMO "Baby College"), weaning guidelines and some first aid. Everyone should get the first aid - it's a damn sight more useful than learning how to massage your partner's back in labour or whathaveyou.

The parenting course was extremely interesting. I didn't agree with all of it, but it was very helpful to talk over issues with other parents and share ideas. Lots of it I did already. Without wishing to sound arrogant, I am not really the type of person who desperately needs it.

Our local Surestart offer parenting courses too, with creche, but no experience of them.

Surestart offer the Webster Stratton course, was considering doing it, but decided against as felt it wasn't sufficiently geared towards parenting kids with SN. (NB if your kid is diagnosed with ASD then you can usually access specialist courses via NAS but they don't offer creche etc).

Rhubarb - how far do you think undiagnosed SN and/or language problems/and or inclusion without proper resources and training are contributing to behaviour problems?

Parenting classes would be about 100 times more useful than the antenatal classes that nearly everyone goes to.

We need to normalise parenting classes so that they are not seen as where you go if you are a "failing/struggling" parent.

The OP mentioned 'no steady job' which would indicate that lack of time is not the main problem.

We need to define the problem better
before discussing the solution.