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Original poster

Embarrassing Stories................anyone

38 replies

breeze · 18/03/2003 09:13

Ok, had fun reading the drunk thread, but what about stories that we can not blame on the booze.

I remember on our anniversary DH had to work, so I sent him a text message telling him exactly what I was going to do to him when he got home. Went to send the message, DS distracted me for a second I clicked on the wrong button and ended up sending it to everyone on my mobile listed under family, this included both parents, sister, brothers, Aunts. I never heard the end of it.

I know I have lots more, but will post again later when I have more time.

OP posts:
Original poster
breeze · 18/03/2003 09:21

I was in Asda the other day, when they started playing the asda music thats on the advert, at the end of the music I just patted my back pocket (just like the advert), when I realised what I had done I was so embarrassed because I was on my own and it was so busy and I could see people grinning.

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jemw · 18/03/2003 10:04

breeze - I am cringing on your behalf just reading your first message - lol....

Ghosty · 18/03/2003 10:07

Breeze ... that reminds me of a similar thing that I did.
I once left a really soppy voice mail message on my fiance's mobile phone ... you know the sort of thing ... soppy pet names, coochie coos, baby's waiting for you, when are you coming home chookums, not wearing any knickers type stuff ...
Anyway, I had phoned the wrong number and didn't know until on my WEDDING DAY my husband's best friend played it back to all of the guests during his best man's speech!!!
I have never been more embarrassed and nearly wet myself laughing ... some great photos were taken of me and DH crying with laughter!

happydays · 18/03/2003 10:49

Previous boyfriend, I had given him a hard time for going out boozing, so to make it up to him, I dressed in the fulls kit and waited for his return. Imagine how horrifed I was when DP came home and had bought a friend back for a night-cap, I had fallen a sleep and woke up being oggled by the pair of them.

eidsvold · 18/03/2003 12:04

Some friends and I were out one night and we walked past the store. A hat in the store caught my eye and as I leaned in for a closer look ( trying to work out if it was real or a figurine) managed to whack my face on the shop window - much to everyone's delight... worse than that I then admitted it was the second time I had done that that evening!!!

tallulah · 18/03/2003 16:45

I was struggling to get a very heavy pushchair up (or down, I forget which) the steps of the bank. People kept pushing past me and I was getting more & more annoyed. In the end I turned to the person behind me, saying as I did, "can you give me a hand with the pushchair."
He smiled and shrugged, indicating that he only had one arm!
I just wanted the ground to open up.

whymummy · 18/03/2003 17:20

many years ago in spain my friend and i were in a big square full of young people drinking and having a laugh we both went for a pee behind a car and right in the middle of one of those very,very long wees the car pulled away leaving us exposed to the whole square,we tried to pretend we were looking for something on the floor but the long streams of steaming wee give us away!

Original poster
breeze · 20/03/2003 09:32

When I was younger and got the bus home from school, there was this boy who liked me and I remember he getting up to get off the bus in a really cool way and when the bus doors opened he kind of jumped out trying to look cool and jumped stright into the bus stop, after that never felt the same. ouch

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leese · 20/03/2003 19:55

This is a supposedly true tale, supposedly happening to the mother of a friend of my sis, but it's sort've become an urban myth in the telling, so I'm not sure any more.......

Said mum was due for a smear test at the GP, but was a bit nervous and kept putting it off. Eventually, my sisters friend persuaded her mum to go. On the day, the mum popped in to see her daughter en route to the GP, had a cup of tea, then said she'd just pop upstairs to 'freshen up' prior to the visit.
After the appointment, she again popped in to see her daughter, who asked her how it had gone.
"Oh fine" her mum replied "Just one odd thing - when I took my pants off the Dr looked a bit surprised and said I'd 'made an effort' - I didn't know what he meant"

"Well what had you done mum?"

"Nothing - just wore my new underwear and sprayed a bit of your deodorant on"

"What deodorant?"

"The one by your bed"

"mum - that's not deodorant........it's spray hair glitter".............

hmb · 20/03/2003 21:02

OK, this one happened to me when I was 14. My mother had bought me a pair of jeans for Christmas, but they didn't fit and I had to take them back to the shop. She had bout them is a very old Co-op haberdashers that sold Jeans. I took them back and the sales assistant told me there was no problem with exchanging them. I picked out a different pair, and aked where the changing room was to be found. She pointed to a door and I went into a very odd, messy room, with a mirror. So I wipped off my jeans and tried on the new pair, and quite liked them. I had just taken then down to my knees when a bloke came into the room, and told me that I was standing in his office!

mixedup · 20/03/2003 21:12

Thats had me in fits Leese

helenmc · 21/03/2003 20:43

we tried to exchange toaster as it was a duplicate wedding present. The assistant wasn't very impressed with the box and called her supervisor over, who then explained that they didn't sell this model any more, but was very nice about it and why don't we look and see what state its in. When we opened the box, there inside a load of tissue paper was a fantastic table light...yep the box was just to keep it safe. So embrassed!!!!

lalaa · 21/03/2003 22:09

I was due at a registry office wedding at 1pm. We had to travel 100 miles to get there and inevitably (men!!) we were running late. It was summer and we ended up striding up a hill to the registry office in all our finery. We arrived late, just as everyone was going in. I hadn't seen the bride for some time and wasn't sure who else I knew was attending. I saw someone I recognised in the crowd so wandered in last. The only seats left were right at the front, opposite the video camera. The bride and groom then made their entrance and it was only at this time that I realised we were at the wrong wedding......My dh didn't know the couple at all, so was totally unaware throughout the service, which we were unable to leave due to our seating position. At the end of the service, I whispered to dh, 'follow me', and I stormed out right behind the bride and groom intending to make a very sharp exit. Dh got stuck and, not knowing the reason why I'd move so quickly, ambled out behind me. As he joined me, the groom walked up to us. I said congratulations, dying at this point, and he said, 'thanks very much, but who are you?'. I then had a split second decision - lie or tell the truth, and I went for the former.....claimed to be an old school friend of the bride who was engaged in conversation elsewhere, and then said but we had to go. He suggested we come and say hi, I refused and we left......only then did I tell dh what the score was.................We still laugh about it 10 years on......I often wonder whether the bride and groom watch their video wondering who on earth we were....

bouncy · 23/03/2003 10:32

This is so much fun.

I remember at a wedding reception it was pretty cold and the patio doors had been shut, I did not realise it and walked into the doors in a room of about 25 people, I just wanted someone to laugh but instead I had hoards of people rushing to see if I was okay.

naughtynoonoo · 23/03/2003 12:53

Leese - your message reminds me of when I went for a smear test a couple of years ago. I get paranoid of anybody (apart from DH) going to my downstairs area - I always used to have a bath before going for my smear test, on this occassion the doctor who was carrying out the procedure asked whether I had a bath this morning, very paronoid that I smelt I replied yes of course, why? the reply was that I still had a little puddle of water and the smear may come back without the result - thank god that was the reply!

Original poster
breeze · 23/03/2003 14:05

Anywhere where I am and see a wasp or bee, I am terrified of them and scream like a mad women. I have just been in the garden hanging out some washing and say a large bee and screamed and run inside with DS looking at me with THAT look.

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PamT · 23/03/2003 14:44

Driving to work (a long time ago) a car cut me up and not being one to like being taken advantage of when driving I gave the driver a 2 finger salute, blew horn and added a fair bit of verbal, only to find at the next set of traffic lights that he was a Chief Inspector working at Police Headquarters where I was an office junior on the Reception desk.

A friend nipped into a secluded alleyway to adjust her suspender belt - skirt tucked under chin (you get the picture). She sorted herself out, straightened her skirt and turned round to see a CCTV camera.

Possibly an urban myth this one - a woman went to the loo before going for her smear but as there was no loo roll she grabbed a tissue out of her handbag. When examined by the doctor he produced 2 co-op stamps (we don't have dividend cards here) that had obviously transferred from the tissue to her 'bits'.

Corbin · 23/03/2003 15:18

When I was 15 years old, there was a boy I liked very much in school. I think he was 18... Anyway, one day between classes I saw him watching be cross the outdoor square between buildings. I accidentally made eye contact, and then couldn't break it for my life. I was thinking, "oh yeah, he's lookin' at ME!". At that moment I walked headlong into a pillar and gave myself a bloody nose, not to mention books and papers flying everywhere. Ugh, I still feel embarrassed thinking of it!

CAM · 23/03/2003 15:42

On the way to visiting someone in Bristol one November Sunday , we went into a supermarket to get some wine to take to our hosts and entered the shop chatting very loudly. Suddenly realised that everyone in the store, including the cashiers were standing stock still and it was deathly quiet. "Why is everyone standing still....??" Got some very strange looks and it took me just a further split second to realise it was 11 am on Remembrance Sunday.

Twink · 23/03/2003 18:25

Staying at a B&B as a child, I was made the most disgusting mug of hot chocolate ever; there was no way I could drink it so in true Hollywood tradition poured it into the nearest plant pot.

I spent the next half an hour standing in front of the pot trying to hide the fact that hot chocolate was pouring out of the bottom of the pot and down the nice white wall...

morocco · 23/03/2003 20:15

OK - this one is very embarrassing ...
In my younger days me and hubby to be went backpacking round India staying in cheap hotels etc. One time we booked into a hotel and got a really small room with just enough room for a bed and a big window at bed height that opened onto the corridor. It was very hot so we drew the curtains, both stripped off naked and went to sleep(and this was pre-kids )
The next morning I awoke and to my horror found that the curtains were wide open, it was about 9am and I had been asleep spread-eagled exposing myself to all passersby for the last few hours.
I woke up my db screeching 'the curtains are open' to which he sleepily replied that he had been hot in the middle in the night so had opened them but not to worry - he had remembered to put his underpants on!

expatkat · 23/03/2003 21:28

I had a job interview at William Morris, a top agency in NYC representing stars in all fields. But because I am dreamy, a little eccentric, and profoundly unsuited for any kind of corporate or high-powered career, I knew that this was not the job for me, but went ahead with the interview because it was set up by a good, well-meaning friend. In (I'm afraid) a perfectly typical fashion, I neglected to put on a skirt for my interview. Long jackets were fashionable then, and I was wearing one, but nonetheless: no skirt is no skirt, and the ommission was very much apparent. I only discovered my mistake on the subway--and by then it was too late to turn back.

I'm sure I don't need to say that the interview (with a woman) lasted 5 mins and I did not get the job.

MABS · 23/03/2003 21:42

Posted this once before - but here goes again. Flying back from LA with 6 yr old dd, we visited the flight deck. GORGEOUS pilot aged about 35 asked dd if ' there was anything she wanted to ask him?'

Yes she replied - have you got a big willy?? I've never sobered up so quickly - particularly when he said 'did mummy ask you to say that?'

Hilary · 23/03/2003 21:45

I worked in a hostel in Israel a few years ago. I was on room cleaning duty so was going through the procedure of knocking on doors to make sure occupants had vacated before I breezed in, mop in hand. This one door, I thought I heard a noise inside, so I knocked, knocked again and then again but got no reply. So, assuming it was empty, I unlocked it and threw open the door. There inside was a middle aged couple on the bed having sex - no clothes, no covers nothing! Obviously assuming that because the door was locked, whoever was knocking would go away again.

When they showed up for lunch later on, at which I was a waitress, I didn't know where to look and neither did they!

Awful!

emsiewill · 23/03/2003 23:05

expatkat how on earth did you manage that!?