Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

please could I have a hug, or a soothing bit of sympathy......

46 replies

PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 17:52

have finally reached my quota of enough.

aunty, mother, teenage DD who made it plain sh did not want to be there, me feeling sick with fear of being there, a 6yo DS who is just being hell right now, shite letter from the solicitor about the car accident (seems all is not ok on that score), a comment from a friend about DS2 and his screaming tantrums............

and now I have realised that I have done to my children the very thing I promised never to do................I am a shit bad mum and am on the edge

sorry, majorly feeling sorry for myself

OP posts:
compo · 29/10/2008 17:53

{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}

what did you do, I'm sure it wasn't that bad

JustKeepScreamingInFear · 29/10/2008 17:54

(((((hugs))))) by the bucketful from me, poor you.
And a gentle sympathetic rub on the shoulder, you'll get through it (not that i know all the details).....

ps weren't you having all those teenagers at the weekend? are you still frazzled from that? how did it go?

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/10/2008 17:55

Hey, heres a hug....and trust me you are not the first and you wont be the last. We are all shite sometimes...me more than most

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 17:57

made them see my mum and aunt.

I always swore I would never do that to my children, make them see the very two people who made my childhood hell.

and yes, t'was me with the many teens sleeping at the weekend

OP posts:
Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 17:58

thanks for the hugs.

I feel very guilty and bad for making them go. I hate going, and I think I have been using the children as a shield

OP posts:
JustKeepScreamingInFear · 29/10/2008 18:05

They may have made your childhood hell but you are not letting them make your kids childhoods hell. Letting them meet is not the same thing as letting them take control over your DCs lives.
(apostrophes missing i know)

We ALL have shite weeks days. Can you do what i end up doing - tv for kids, glass of wine for you? ()

stealthsquiggle · 29/10/2008 18:05

It's done and over and hopefully you won't be forced into doing it again for a long, long time.

My almost 6yo DS is being hell as well - DH and I have reached the repeated-chanting-of-'it's a phase stage. DS when consulted has suggested we implement a version of 'Golden time' at home.

What's up with the solicitor?

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 18:18

justkeepscreaming, you speak sense, thankyou. It is just everything all at once and I feel very overwhelmed, and I have reached my edge of reason IYGWIM.

I am off out now tho with DD3 and her dancing friend to go see HSM3, so no wine for me until later.

stealth.........guy was found guilty of causing the accident, seems tho that his car was insured but he had sold it and had informed the DVLA which make the insurance void, even if he was driving.

not sure what that means, altho DH says it doesn;t mean what I think it means.......but my reasoning is off.

I don;t know, am passed caring, the man needs stringing up with mother and aunty.

and yes, DS2 is just a phase, but one that is loud and wearing in public!

OP posts:
Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 22:55

well......am back from HSM3...((tis good BTW, my foot was tapping)), still feeling low tho.

ho hum......brand new day tomorrow I guess.

OP posts:
Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 22:58

i agree with what justkeepscreaming said.
you are not a shit bad mum.

id like to see hsm.now you can have your wine!

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 23:00

nah, I can;t. forgot I drank it last night (after DH and the boys spilled half playing ball in the house).

OP posts:
Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 23:01

here

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 23:04

can almost taste it!

OP posts:
Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 23:06

doesnt taste great does it .just imagine.yum.i dont have any either btw-im not teasing you with mmmm oh so yummy wine iyswim.

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 23:13

Am very glad you not teasing me, I might just have cried

OP posts:
Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 23:27

awww nooo.god id feel awful.and id be scared with your fancy but scary halloween name on.

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 29/10/2008 23:36

tis ok........I have sent my axe off for sharpening ready for the next full moon.

besides, it is not for using on lovely kind people sending me hugs or virtual wine.

OP posts:
Lurcio · 30/10/2008 00:30

Manly MN type (((hugs))) and a soothing head stroke too if you'd like . I have seen a few of your recent threads and wanted to say how sorry I am that you're having such a rubbish time. I also agree with justkeepscreaming, you're not a rubbish mum. Hope that tomorrow is a much nicer day for you.

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 30/10/2008 08:49

thankyou.

am feeling a we bit better today.....just been speaking to shoshe, am going to hers tomorrow, and also planning a hecate visit today with flame, so they will both get me bouncing again (not least because we have a coffee-fest planned).

I have to be honest, I actually walked out yesterday after throwing a chair across the room...........I lost it badly (not at the children I hasten to add, was just the situation), and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed standing on the front doorstap (yet again I did the walking with no shoes/coat/keys/bag in a rainstorm!).

I get like this each october........I am hell to live with and hell to have as a friend. I feel so effing low I hate myself.

and then yesterday it suddenly dawned on me what I was doing.......only, as it was pointed out to me by my friend who came and rescued me, I don;t enforce weekly visits, just once yearly, and I take them knowing it will be hard all round and so it is for half-hour, where-as I was forced every weekend and for an entire day.

ach, I don;t know. I just feel as tho my personality gets squashed and I turn back into the terrified 12yo I was when my mother attacked me and my aunt abandoned me......and I cannot break out of it.......hate it hate it hate it, and me.

arghhhhhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
finknottle · 30/10/2008 09:03

Cheery & hope you enjoy the coffee-fest. Am devoid of wise words today but want to shovel sympathy & oodles of admiration for the coping you do do, iyswim. We can always beat ourselves up for our failings and forget the masses of successes in coping we have too.

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 30/10/2008 09:05

thankyou...and thankyou also for the cheery

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 30/10/2008 09:11

You saw HSM3 without me?!?

They go once a year. They will be fiiiiiiiiine. You aren't beating them every day in public

Original poster
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 30/10/2008 09:15

I can go again you know!!!!

it was rather good......

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 30/10/2008 09:17

i want to go. but needs to be a weds, and b will be hell if i take her in the evening soooooo... tis either your girls, or just us

JustKeepScreamingInFear · 30/10/2008 09:17

Glad you are feeling more positive today

I have alternate down and up days at the moment - without the stress of family problems so pat yourself soundly on the back for coping so well.

i haven't done that walking out (without coat and keys, etc.) for ages, must be getting mellow in my old age....or just more practical?

Wish i drank coffee, the smell is lovely