Spoilt Rotten - 9pm tonight

[rosehip]

This promises to be interesting and probably sickening.

I know, I can't believe how some people spoil their children, no wonder some of them grow up to be such snobs and so cocky

The saddest thing I've heard for a long time was little Georgina (whilst lunching at what looked like The Ritz with Mummy)saying she was jealous for all the other children being taken and picked up from school by their Mum - 'I have a terrible life, I love Mummy more than presents .....' - quote. Gulp.

sorry didn't see other thread

Ok,Ok, I know it sounds soppy, but, as long as children have their parents love and support any other things they get in the form of gifts are irrelevant.

Chiccadum - but are you saying its OK to lavish this sort of money on your children?

I thought it was nauseating, these people can't be for real, would anyone on mumsnet spoil their children like this?

What values are these chidren being taught, except that money buys you happiness, have whatever you want.

Gross!

Call me bias - I think my daughter looks a million dollars and a princess in a £5 outfit from primark!

I only saw the first half, ER was calling!! But I remember the bit featuring the designer clothes shop in South London. From what the assistant said, that's probably where Daniella Westbrook bought the mass of Burberry she dressed her baby in! In the shop later a mum (who said she spent all her money on her 4 or 5 year old daughter) was having to put up with sulks because the daughter wanted an £1,100 Dolce & Gabanna coat and mum was trying to explain she didn't have enough money that day!! Puh-leeze!! When I tell my son I can't afford something it's usually a £5 fire engine or a £1.99 car

Lindy too true. You can love your children to bits and spend loads of time playing with them but I think adding that level of material excess into the equation is positively harmful.

rosehip, I thought Georgina was by far the saddest child on the programme, because her mother just didn't get it! She seemed a nice child, who wanted and appreciated a bit of time from her mother, but didn't want her mother telling her what to do (eg at the stables) when she plainly didn't know what she was talking about...I kept watching Georgina's face when her mother was talking and she was so unimpressed, poor love.

I thought the Liverpool one with the twins was a bit barmy. The interior decorator guy who did his daughter's bedroom ("so he could spend a bit more time with her" or words to that effect, purleeeze) needs his bumps felt - although his daughter also seemed like a fairly sane child, would have liked to see her mother, but still, 8-10 grand for a small room with a wooden floor, some pink bits and a built-in bed, are these people all completely mad?

Also the DJ guy who does the posh expensive parties was possibly a bit too open - obviously unimpressed with the parents who want to impress - maybe they will go elsewhere next time.

There are so many people out there very keen to part impressionable affluent people from their money. Serves them right, I suppose.

One thing I think my parents were very smart in doing was never to tell us that we couldn't have something because they couldn't afford it. When they said no (and they often did) it was because it was an inappropriate way to spend the money. I think it taught us real values that were not based on how much money was around. Actually I now realize that my parents always had plenty of money, but they didn't want us to rely on that. We were taught to value things and given the tools to make our own living and survive regardless of how much money we ended up with ourselves.

To be fair, if we all had the kind of money that meant we lived in £2 million houses, and didn't even have to ask what it might cost to have a designer in to redecorate our kids' bedrooms, then wouldn't we be buying Burberry and Dior for our children? I too find it pretty sickening when I think what a difference a spare fifty quid can make to my lifestyle for the week ) But these parents buy Burberry and Dior for themselves and probably update their wardrobes completely every season; isn't it natural that they do the same for their children? (It kind of cancels out our argument that kids just grow out of all these expensive clothes so quickly, when you think that a lot of the mothers themselves won't wear an outfit for more than a few months.) We can't see why any family of four needs ten cars, or three or four that each cost the same as a decent-sized house but if we were rich on that level (ie in the millions) then we'd be buying the same sort of toys for ourselves and for our kids. If I could afford it I'd want my kid to have a disco room and a pony and a £2000 climbing frame in the garden.

There were a couple of the things in the programme that I found really sad. One was the fact that Georgina's mum had apparently never heard her daughter's opinion about having presents instead of time with mum, thus implying that after years of such a lifestyle, it wasn't until the camera crew arrived that the mother found out how her daughter felt about things. Is that really possible?! And then Tyler's mother, who bought her daughter expensive clothes but frankly didn't seem to be able to afford the lifestyle she was talking about; she said she went without a lot of the time and she certainly didn't dress as well as her daughter. Why let your daughter try on a £1100 D&G coat if you can't afford to get it? Why spend £200 on a coat if you have to struggle and pay for it in instalments? If you don't always have that kind of money to hand, I'd say that when you did, it'd be better spent taking the child abroad somewhere, funding some kind of hobby, or putting it into a university fund etc, rather than spending it on clothes. Because to be honest posh clothes was all Tyler seemed to have in terms of 'privilege'.

message withdrawn

I couldn't actually believe what I saw. All these poor kids wanted was time with their parents. I never tell my DS that he can't have anything, If he wants a new car or something, then he has to earn them by being good and obtaining stickers. These parents I feel were awful. The bit that upset me was when the mum bought home a new car for her daughter because she had not been spending time with her, the girl didn't even look at the gift while she was hugging her mum. What she would have preferred was for her mum to home home early and not gallavant round the shop looking for something to make her feel better.

Anyone else notice that the 21 yr old guy organising the parties looked like he could be Jack Dee's younger brother.

Damn! I meant to watch this!!

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to batter some sense into Georgina or the mother. Did you see her when she was on that horse and she kicked out at her mother? I would have had her back in the car so fast her feet wouldn't have touched the ground. When the mother was saying she was teaching her not to be a spoilt madam I thought well sorry pet but you've failed miserably. That Tyler when she was in the shop trying on the coats. If my son had sulked like that because he couldn't have the £1100 D&G he wouldn't have got either coat he'd have been out of there. As for that interior designer guy saying he would have charged £8-10K for his daughter's bedroom I feel they would have been robbed. I would have been very disappointed if that was all I got for my £8K. I'm always worried I'm spoiling ds as if we go into town I usually end up buying him a book or something (nothing over a fiver), I was always brought up that you had to wait for Christmas or birthdays. I seem to justify treating ds with that its his birthday at the end of November so for all the year he doesn't get anything and then it all comes at once with Christmas as well. Dp and I were up in Newcastle visiting the rellies and saw loads of kids with the new football kit that came out that day and were saying then that kids just seem to expect it now. I do have a couple of rules though and thats if ds plays up he doesn't get and if he says I want he doesn't get, he has to say please. I certainly don't buy him designer clothes as he grows so fast. I resent paying out £30 on Clark's shoes when he grows out of them so fast but obviously with footwear you can't compromise.

I don't agree that we would all treat our children like that if we could afford to - I could certainly afford to dress my DS is brand new, smart clothes (not quite on that level though!!) but in all honesty I never buy him anything brand new - except for shoes - he wears clothes that friends have passed on or from charity shops - I never buy him new toys and his books come from the library. My DH horrified my by spending £30 on his birthday present, to appease my conscience I sent a cheque (DH's money - I'm a SAHM !!) to a children's charity.

It really horrifies me the amount of money spent on children - often by the people who can least afford it.

And before anyone asks, I rarely buy new clothes for myself either!!

To be fair though megg, the only reason the girl acted that way was because of the way her mother treated her. I don't think it is the kids fault at all. I blame the parents. Negative attention from a parent is better than none, that's why a lot of these kids act up.
I don't think that money can come into it with regard to spoiling a child, I mean you giving in and buying your child a chocolate bar because they are keeping on is spoiling a child.

No Lindy, I didn't explain well enough, i meant as long as children are loved and supported by their parents and families they have no need to be spoilt by spending hundreds or thousands on toys or clothes they may never play with or wear.

Oh and forgot to mention, look what Martin Bashir did to the MJ interview, they could have possible cut out all the positive things these parents did with their children and only show the horrible bits. I mean I will be honest and admit that after watching MJ I thought he was weirdo who deserves locking up, but after the MJ programme on Skyone, even though I still thought he was a little odd, nearly not as bad as he was made out.

I KNEW there'd be a thread on mumsnet after watching this appalling programme last night! I too agree that even if I could afford it, I wouldn't buy it - but there is a difference between Mrs "didn't bat an eyelid when quoted £12K for the bedrooms" (the only boys shown - did you notice? Are they saying only girls are spoilt like this??) and Mrs "living my life through my daughter (quote) but can't afford anything else nice"... I did think that with more money than sense, it has always been the case that children are spoilt by material things (this is not a new phenomenon) but the idea of women blowing all the months budget (and then some) on clothing and toys, or struggling like mad to ensure her daughter was wearing a million dollars was the sad indication of where we are in today's society. It is the children who will suffer if they don't ever learn that you have to work hard to buy these things. Steep learning curve ahead.

Favourite moments: when Gergina was looking sulky because mummy was telling her she had to be good and work hard at school to get the horse (so clearly said "why is THIS present any different from the others then?" ) and When the mother of the twins was telling us all how she blew the budget, and then later on in the programme said she worked hard to buy them these things (slight discrepency there?)

And slightly sickened by the grown up itsy bitsy bikini on that tiny girl - I feel a bit queasy when I see these "sexy" childrens clothes. Bras and thongs for 6 year olds? Eh??

Thus completes my rant! Ah that feels better

I have to agree with Lindy. I have plenty of money and can certainly afford to dress my children in expensive designer clothes. Instead I choose to shop at Primark or the gap when it's on sale or I use handmedowns. I think large amounts of money on something as disposable as superficial as clothing is an inappropriate way to spend money. But I suppose if you have the money, it's really just a matter of priorities....mine lie in the direction of bathrooms and kitchens.

Snickers you've hit on something there with that little word 'society','pressure'is another one that springs to mind-pressure on parents to come up with the goods that the children have seen on TV from adverts that scream at them"you must have this"It's so materialistic,yet we're all bombarded with it.I feel for our children growing up with these messages that they must have this toy or that toy.We had just as much fun the other day making peg dollies yet I constantly hear "I want that"when they watch the tv.I wonder what will happen when they grow up and decide what they want to be-hmm will it be a nurse on 16 thousand a year or perhaps a banker so they can afford all these material things? I thought the children were lovely,not really spoilt,not yet-but wait until their young teenagers and really know the value of money.If those parents are still spending 1000 pounds on a d&g coat then I think they're in for trouble.I agree Megg,that kick from Georgina would have earned her a trip straight back home from me too.

I wonder what they do with all the outgrown clothes and unwanted toys! Someone must have a field day. Perhaps Tyler's mum felt she should spend all the money the little girl earns from modelling on her. She would be better saving it and would probably find the little girl appreciated having a new car at 18 rather than lots of old photos showing her wearing nice clothes. I wonder just how much debt some must get into to buy these designer clothes as it's not always the ones who can afford them who actually buy them.

I do love to look at nice pricey pretty things though,it was great to have a nose at those gorgeous little clothes.I can't understand how that bedroom could posssibly have cost that much from what was in it???It was practically bare for that money.Apologies if I'm repeating what someones already said.

I wish I'd seen this ? sounds like fascinating viewing.
Perhaps I should have changed my name for this post, since I do feel a bit embarrassed about admitting that, as a working mum, I sometimes do feel tempted to assuage the guilt I feel (I know, I can't help it) by buying little things for ds. Nowhere near on this scale, though. I know it's wrong and no substitute for proper attention, but this thread has made me think...