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Original poster

Has anyone here a Life Coach or used a Life Coach?

52 replies

ghosty · 30/09/2008 01:24

Am interested in opinions. What is a Life Coach? Has anyone ever used one? Any bad/good experiences? Load of crap or worth it?
TIA

OP posts:
cthea · 02/10/2008 23:42

I suppose it's similar to non-directed (?)counselling, in that the LC doesn't give you solutions, just asks you to clarify where you are and what you need to do to get where you want to. Because they're outside your area they may be asking some obvious and simple questions and as you talk through them you realise what stumbling blocks there are or that some were imaginary. TBH it's good also for one hour to be the centre of attention (Moondog's self-indulgent point ).

HuwEdwards · 02/10/2008 23:42

fine moondog, church isn't my choice, horses and courses and all that

moondog · 02/10/2008 23:43

And I don't understand the concept of paying someone who neither knows you or cares for you ti give you advice. It's prostitution. Buying a service from someone who couldn't give a shit.

'Counselling' is a complete minefield too as full of unregulated charlatans.

moondog · 02/10/2008 23:44

MN suits my need for self indulgence

HuwEdwards · 02/10/2008 23:45

You're right Moondog, you don't understand. at all.

Original poster
ghosty · 02/10/2008 23:47

I really appreciate this input and opinions ...
Like HuwEdwards I don't do Church either. I tried that too when I had PND and felt that everyone was trying to get me to 'join up' and I hated that ...

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solo · 02/10/2008 23:48

My best friend see's a life coach and finds the experience very positive. My best friend is the most positive, doing, confident person I know. I've known her for 23 years and she's being seeing LC for about 2 years. She's always been the way I describe her.

cthea · 02/10/2008 23:48

Moondog - I think we'd agree on a lot about unregulated charlatans but my experience wasn't like that. I've only had that one free session. She didn't give me advice at all. I did most of the talking, she just asked some questions.

moondog · 02/10/2008 23:49

At lkeast it was free.
It's paying for the bleedin' obvious that I have truck with.

Original poster
ghosty · 02/10/2008 23:49

Being kicked off 'puter by DS (he's been begging to go on for ages) ...
Would love to know more Huw ... is there any chance you could email me ghostyandmeg1(at)bigpond(dot)com ???
You can too Moony, but I don't think we will be on the same page

OP posts:
moondog · 02/10/2008 23:50

Aye well, best of luck.
Just don't get ripped off!

HuwEdwards · 02/10/2008 23:50

Had the same experience cthea.

MN is too hit and miss - sometimes you get good responses, sometimes you get bugger all!

cthea · 02/10/2008 23:50

Solo - you see, I don't think that's all that healthy, though, depending so much on a LC that you see her regularly for years on end. It becomes a crutch and then you need another therapist of sorts to help you deal with your dependency.

HuwEdwards · 02/10/2008 23:51

sure, will do tomorrow Ghosty!

solo · 02/10/2008 23:56

cthea, she just phones her now and then for a run this by you kind of chat now. She's made friends with her so I don't think there's a cost involved any longer. Of course she started out this way ~ paying I mean. Each to their own I guess and she seems to be getting what she needs from it.

cthea · 03/10/2008 00:00

Solo - if they became friends can they still keep a professional distance? As I've mentioned, my experience is v limited and with a trainee only, but I think it was useful that she didn't know me and was not in a position to say "are you sure that isn't a mistake" etc. I think it's hard if you have a friend going through something not to chip in with suggestions or not to bring things from the past as examples of how it can go wrong again in the future. I dunno, just thinking aloud. Anyway, not such a useless profession as I thought before I went to this one session.

thumbwitch · 03/10/2008 00:17

Ghosty, hope you manage to get back on at some point tonight.

Life Coaches might use NLP - neuro linguistic programming, and if they do, then it is well worth it because it is not just about talking through your options and stating the obvious. NLP is the way to go as it makes very real changes in your thought and behaviour patterns, thus helping you to realise goals etc. that you haven't been able to manage so far. I love NLP - it made such a humungous difference to my life, I can't tell you.

Life Coaches are not the same as counsellors. Counselling generally has a long training that requires you to undergo many hours of personal counselling therapy yourself so that you don't start "transferring" your own issues onto any clients. It is always best to go to a practitioner who is registered with a reputable professional body.

I have met one Life Coach who DIDN'T use NLP and she would probably suit Moondog's bias, as she only did the training as a few weeks add-on to her degree and with her attitude, the only life changes I could see her helping anyone with would be to never see a life coach again!

Solo and cthea - I started counselling with a lady who was not just a friend but also my counselling tutor - we discussed the professional boundary issues and I still decided she was the best person to continue with because I felt comfortable with her and she knew some of the story already so I didn't need to start again from scratch with someone else. I certainly never felt as though things were getting off track - if the counsellor has been trained properly, even if they are/become a friend, they should be able to stay in role when required.

Ghosty, if you want to email me I am on thumbwitch at live dot co dot uk

AbricotsSecs · 03/10/2008 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ghosty · 03/10/2008 01:05

I will email you thumbwitch, if that is ok ... thank you so much ...
Have to go out in a bit as it is last day of school hols in Melbourne and I am taking the kids to the city for the day on the train for some fun ... but expect an email sometime in the next 24 hrs. I want to know more ..

OP posts:
Original poster
ghosty · 03/10/2008 01:06

LOVE 'swim in the river of me' ...

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twinsetandpearls · 03/10/2008 18:02

With reflection and space she told me things I needed to hear but it was very stressful but I think that was the tv bit rather than the life coach. She did not tell me as such to leave the school but told me that I needed to make changes tat could never happen in the school I was in. I have moved jobs and my life hs been transformed.

cthea · 03/10/2008 18:10

Thumbwith - that's v interesting, thanks. It made me read a bit about NLP (one of those subjects I feel I ought to know more about). I wonder now whether that "mission statement" I mentioned earlier, the mantra-like statement I had to write up and put on the fridge and look at every day was an attempt to use some NLP techniques. She insisted I wrote it, using my own words so they are meaningful to me etc.

thumbwitch · 03/10/2008 22:17

cthea, it might well have been then. in NLP it is vital that the person uses words that are meaningful to them, as they will be the ones that 'stick' most and have the most power. The slightest variation can diminish the power of the word hugely and it really doesn't matter if it even makes sense, logically, grammatically or anything - so long as it is meaningful to the person.

Original poster
ghosty · 04/10/2008 00:22

Have emailed you thumbwitch

A reason why MN wouldn't/doesn't give me all I need in terms of life advice is that sometimes you get too many differing opinions and that can be very confusing. An example would be that once I was upset with my DH as he had come home very very late and very drunk a few years back (not a common occurence so I was very upset) and I posted on here about it. I had so many differing opinions that the thread in the end upset me more with tons of people telling me to leave my husband etc etc ...
So as wonderful as MN is it is too Hit and Mill as HuwEdwards says

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 04/10/2008 23:18

have emailed you back, ghosty - hope it helps!