I get unbelievably scared on my own at night when dh isn't here

[Haylstones]

In the cold light of day I know it's ridiculous but dh has to work away quite often and I'm getting increasingly freaked out at night.
I imagine I can hear and see things and my bed is right next to the door; I have to keep it open a bit in case dd needs me during the night and am convinced there are things out there . Ds still shares our room and I hope across the floor to get him when he wakes up because I'm soo scared there will be someone/ something under my bed.
Last night there really were noises because ds's bedroom door was ajar and a draught was making it move backwards and forwards. I was lying in bed calling out to dd because I thought it was her but there was no answer (obviously) and I then had to get up to check it out and was seriously scared until I managed to get all the lights on.
I also spent about an hour lying in bed with my eyes tightly closed imagining all the ways someobody could get into the house and convincing myself I'd left the door unlocked.

I'm nearly 30, responsible and normally rational person so what is going on?! I'm absolutely fine until bed time when the panic kicks in. I don't know if I'm more afraid of the real threats (burglars etc) or the imaginary ones(Ghosts [shudder])
Dh is due home tomorrow but will be away again some nights next week . He would just quite reasonably) laugh if I told him this.
ANy advice?

Alarms aren't that expensive given the peace of mind they offer. I just have a simple auditory alarm currently (not good enough, I want a monitored one with panic button and police response). The qotes for installation of my replacement alarm are coming back at £1150 for installation and then there is a couple of hundred quid per year recurrent cost. Sure it's a lot, but many people spend that on holidays etc

Alarm is something I think we may consider at some point but atm we are saving really hard for something else.
I know crime happens everywhere but I do feel safe here, it genuinely is irrational fears I have like ghosts, faces at my 1st floor bedroom window etc.
I am under stress btw, but I always have had an overactive imagination so this is nothing new!

My Dh has worked away for years since our 3 dc's were small.

Strangely I'm never afraid if there is a child in the house when he's away but I am when I'm by myself which is ridiculous really as the child or children would be our placements which are always babies

i have no advice as i am the same, but will watch this thread for ideas

How about having the radio on very low in the background, World Service or something, so your ears aren't straining for the sound of the hinges creaking .

but the radio might mask the noise of something!!!
I'm just a big scaredy cat

Maybe we should all go to bed with our laptops and the webcam on so everyone else can reassure us that there is nothing there!

I am exactly the same. At 28 I have NEVER spent the night in a house alone. Either at home with parents, sharing with mates at uni and then moved in with DH.

If I know DH is spending the night away (rare) I go home to my mum's for night (2 hours away )

I had no idea so many other people were like this. I have been beating myself up lately as DH had gone to the pub for the evening and I became convinced that there was someone down in the bedroom end of the house (all on one level - makes phobia Soooooooo much worse) Despite my children being asleep down there I couldn't make myself go and check. Had to call DH home. Naturally there was nothing and I feel awful that I couldn't rise above my fear for the sake of the children.

As a teenager my mum arranged hypnotherapy for me as she was worried about me going off to uni with such anxieties. Didn't really help but apparently I did discribe an incident with a face at a black window. Probably why I have to draw the curtains now before dark.

Good to know I'm not alone.

Hi there everyone, my husband has just gone on his night shift now and im just starting to get a bit scared, i thought i was the only one going through this, its nice to know im not just insane but actually other people go through this as well. i am 23 years old and have 2 kids, i dont how i can overcome this fear. when he goes to work i get so scared and then when i finally decide to go to bed i just lay listening for noises so i can hear if anyone is going to break in. I cant go to bed too early as i panic about waking up in the night when its most likely to be burgalar time, (anthing after midnight), i really dont know what to do now, i dont have double glazing and i cant afford to get it done and i cant have a dog. i wont put music on in bed because i think then if someone did break in i wouldnt hear them, i wish my husband could just have a normal day job!

I used to be a bit like this, and still have an overactive imagination, but as DH has been away so much, and for months on end over the last few years, I have slowly gotten used to being on my own in the house at night.

I do have dogs, but as someone else said they bark at the slightest thing and then I stress about what they MIGHT be barking at...and then that they are no longer barking...

Although now I am not too bad, one night I heard a horrible breathing at our patio doors while sitting up late . They have vertical blinds across them, so I couldn't see out. I tried to rationalise it (switched off the baby monitor- it stopped for a second then started again!) Finally I just went to bed and pulled the covers right up- as everyone knows, this is the best protection you can get. Nothing can get you if you have the covers pulled right up, that's the law. lay awake listening for creaking on the stairs, though, with hammer stashed under the bed. Dad and Dh couldn't understand why I didn't just draw back the blind and look !! Have they never seen a horror movie?? AS long as you don't look you have a chance!

What helps me through the fear is to have a plan- of escape, of attack (I used to have a cast iron alarm clock I reckoned could knock someone out if thrown with force) and of defence (the good old I-can't-see-you-please-leave-me-alone)! I'm also not above having a crucifix and some holy water in my bedside drawer, despite being a pretty lapsed catholic I like the mobile phone idea, though- must add that to my repertoire!