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Original poster

am I wrong to give my 10 yr old daughter a mobile phone?

58 replies

cutekids · 17/09/2008 11:14

she's walking with her 2 younger siblings to school now.we got her a cheap mobile phone just for safety reasons.ie:let me know when they arrive/leave school etc.
a letter went out on Monday asking that pupils hand over their mobiles during the school day-which is fine by me-and,if possible,avoid letting the children bring them in at all.
i told my dd1 to hand the mobile over as requested and to ring me once she's outside the school gates but apparently her teacher-who is also the deputy head-shouts at pupils who use their mobile phones even if they're out of the school grounds.who's in the wrong?me/him?

OP posts:
hanaflower · 17/09/2008 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
cutekids · 17/09/2008 11:24

Oh yes,I've thought about someone robbing it...that's why it's a cheapie one.
as far as crossing the road whilst on it, I have told her that she's only to use it before and after walking.it's just that they're so young...having said that,she will be starting high school next year.btw,it does seem that most of the kids have them in school.

OP posts:
cherrieberry · 17/09/2008 22:29

if shes so young and walking younger siblings why are you not walking with them!?

MaureenMLove · 17/09/2008 23:04

There are all manner of reasons why the school does not want mobile phones at school. Phone envy and then being stolen, Them not wanting to be responsible for them. Not really having time to collect in and hand out phones again during the school day. I do agree with Cherry though. If she's is so young, why is she walking her siblings to school and not you? I don't know your local area/situation though, so its none of my business really!

Is there a parent that does walk to school, that you could ask to just keep an eye out for them on the way to and from school? I used to do that to DD, when she wanted to start walking to school on her own in Yr6.

BTW, many SECONDARY schools around here don't allow mobiles, including DD's. The responsibility of it, is just not something the school wants to be involved with. Much easier for them to have a blanket ban on them. They are, afterall there to teach your children, not look after their valuables.

Original poster
cutekids · 18/09/2008 10:45

they are 10,9+8...the eldest is going to high school next year and needs to get some independence.i can't exactly tell her to go and then walk behind her with her siblings.anyway,that's not what i was asking.

OP posts:
LadyMuck · 18/09/2008 10:48

Our school accepts that children walking to school by themselves can have a mobile. Clearly your school allows for it, so I think that the teacher is being a bit unreasonable.

fortyplus · 18/09/2008 10:49

I can't understand why you want her to phone when they leave school? You know what time they leave - tell her only to phone you if they are late leaving for some reason.

pushchair · 18/09/2008 10:49

My nine year old walks to school with her best friend. She does not have a phone and imo doesn't need one. Her friend gets the bus home and often stops to play in the park. She has a phone and I feel that is justified.

pagwatch · 18/09/2008 10:51

My DS1 got his mobile phone when he started travelling to school on the train on his own at 10. But it was for emergencies only.
The school totally supported that but he was told that if he was caught using the phone in school it would be confiscated.

RTKangaMummy · 18/09/2008 10:51

I think the teacher is wrong

If she is standing outside the playground on the pavement then she isn't under school authority is she?

LadyMuck · 18/09/2008 11:08

Might not be strictly authorised but I know that if children at the dcs school got into trouble outside of school in uniform then they would get involved. I don't think that using a mobile would fall into that category, but if they were say fighting another pupil (or even stealing another pupil's phone), then I suspect that the school would be involved especially if there weren't parents around.

wannaBe · 18/09/2008 11:10

I think any age under 16 is too young. But I realize I am apparently in the minority on this.

However, I think this idea that it keeps them safe is rubbish. sorry. Safe from what exactly?

To me it sounds as if you're not altogether comfortable with the two younger ones walking to school on their own with their sister, hence your insistance that she calls as soon as they leave.

Personally I would let her walk to school and take the younger ones myself. there are plenty of parents at our school who do exactly that.

sclubheaven · 18/09/2008 11:15

I think you are giving your dd mixed messages. You want her to gain independence, yet you want her to call you when she arrives at school and when she leaves school. It's not necessary.

Give her the phone and tell her it's for emergencies only.

The school are being slightly unreasonable too, considering she is not in school when she calls, but if you let her cut out the unnecessary phone calls the issue will be resolved.

OrmIrian · 18/09/2008 11:17

OK. Re the phone yanbu. If's she's following school rules there are no grounds for her being told off.

BTW my eldest has started secondary this year. He walks to school most days with friends - we bought him a mobile as you did but then found out that he isn't allowed to take it into school at all. So that was a waste of time He and his sister like their independence - both of them walked to primary school without me (together sometimes) for the last few years. But I took the youngest myself. They left earlier than I did and took their own routes.

PrimulaVeris · 18/09/2008 11:29

I have a dc at secondary and I think a mobile is essential - sorry. There's a long walk, a bus option, bumping into friends for a chat option, then going off with friends into town centre at weekends etc.

Mobiles not allowed in school - some schools insist on their being handed in at reception, others on being kept in locker.

It's quite sensible to give them one towards end of Primary so they get used to it. The getting mugged/robbed fear is exaggerated imo. Most likely to get lost or forget to charge it up/top up credit!

OrmIrian · 18/09/2008 11:32

Ours don't allow them on the premises primula. Annoying I know.

PrimulaVeris · 18/09/2008 11:39

That would make me v annoyed OrmIrian - dd has a 1.5 mile walk, so when it's dark and tipping with rain in winter and she's msised the bus I need to know she's OK or need to drive over and fetch her! An issue of personal safety really.

OrmIrian · 18/09/2008 11:44

Yes. As you say. Admittedly he will rarely be walking alone. I imagine there were some big problems with theiving/losses/arguments in the past.

fortyplus · 18/09/2008 13:20

Schools ban mobiles because - apart from the obvious problem of theft - kids send each other vtexts in class and put the phone under the door of the toilet cubicles to take photos. Camera phones can also be used inappropriately to take photos of staff to post on websites.

Rhubarb · 18/09/2008 13:27

FWIW, I think that if you consider it unsafe for your children to walk alone to school without letting you know the minute they get there, then you shouldn't be letting them do it.

If they don't get into school, you'll soon know about it as school will contact you. But since there are 3 of them walking together and I presume other children walking along the same route at the same time, may I suggest that you are being paranoid?

Why not walk them yourself one day, see who else goes along that route, see if there is another parent there who can walk with your kids. Or how about asking the school if they could organise a walking bus that your children could join.

What on earth happened before we had mobile phones eh? The world must have been a very dangerous place indeed!

Rhubarb · 18/09/2008 13:31

And I'm sorry, but do you really expect schools to organise a huge mobile phone bucket for kids to put them into on entry to school? Imagine the chaos of all these kids queuing up at home time to get them back again!

I've worked in a secondary school. Almost every child had a phone. They would text friends on the next table at lunch! Ok, you could tell them to turn it off during lessons, but do you think kids always do as they are told? Lessons are disrupted by phones going off, kids secretly texting under desks, even winding up the teacher so that one child could film it to post on YouTube.

Then you get the older boys with porno images on their phones, showing the younger kids.

They are a bloody nuisance and should be banned from schools.

LoveMyGirls · 18/09/2008 13:42

My dd1 is 9 and she will be taking her phone to school and handing it in at the office at the start and end of the day because her sister is about to start nursery at a different school (because the nursery at dd1's school couldn't give her a place) so I will be about 5 minutes late every day to pick dd1 up so by the time she has collected her phone and walked to the gates I should be there, I have spoken to the lady in the office who was lovely about it and said dd1 is welcome to wait there for a few minutes, also the lady at kids club who said if dd1 walks there and stands by the door to wait for me she will keep an eye on her and dd1 can run in if there is a problem. I trust dd1 and don't need her to use the phone to call me it is more for me to call her in an emergency so she can go back inside and wait with an adult.

Rhubarb · 18/09/2008 13:48

Why can't she wait for you in the office?

dd's school won't let her out of the school yard until they have seen me.

LoveMyGirls · 18/09/2008 13:56

I'm thinking by the time I've got all the children out of the car and walked to get dd1 I'll be more than 5 minutes late more like 10 maybe more (I'm a childminder so will have 4 children with me by the time I pick dd1 up) I'm yet to try it so to start it will be trial and error I guess.

juuule · 18/09/2008 13:59

At our primary school children aren't allowed to leave unless they have an adult pick them up. If no-one collects them, they are taken back into school to wait and the parents/carers contacted to find out why no-one turned up to collect. There are exceptions where upper junior school children are allowed to go home on their own at the request of parents but the school needs it in writing from the parents. Infant school children not allowed out without adult or an agreed person(generally 16+ but sometimes secondary school-age).

I don't really understand why a mobile phone would be necessary at school. You know what time school finishes and you know what time your child would be due home.
My dc come home with their friends and if for some unforseen reason they stayed behind at school or missed the bus they knew to go back into school and tell someone.