Dh on holiday!

[Chinchilla]

Well, dh left at 3am yesterday (Wed 5th), and I am fine. I have booked things to do every day, except one, until he comes home on the 16th. Mum and Dad are also going to have ds the day before dh returns, so I can have some time to myself, and I am going to go to the cinema ON MY OWN (never done that before!) to watch 'Two Weeks Notice'. I plucked up the courage to ask one of the mums from my M & T group over for coffee, and she will be here in 1/2 an hour!

I am amazed that I haven't missed dh yet. Last year it was awful when he was away for 9 days, as ds had bad eczema, and was still not going through the night. Ds is much easier to work out this year, and is so much more interactive. It also helps that he is mostly in a routine.

I may not be so positive this time next week, so I may need all of you to make me feel better...watch this space.

You will be suprised how quickly the time goes. Could you not ask a friend to the pictures, failing that i will come with you as i want to see it, but hubby hates hg,

Has he gone or holiday or is it through work?

Try to find lots of mini treats to give yourself, especialy at night. I always find that time the hardest, ance the children have gone to bed, and I end up on my lonesome! It is a good time to give yourself a manicure, soak in the bath or have a facial. Last year Dh was out of the country for 6 months, and he is about to go again But at least the children are now older and sleep through the night. It was very hard when he went away for 6 weeks when dd was 3 and ds was 3 months.....and just to make it worse they both came down with chiken pox!

Good luck, and I am sure the time will soon pass.

Breeze - he is snowboarding! Alright for some hey! So where do you live then, as it might be a bit difficult coming to see HG with me if you lived in Hull (for example)

HMB - Poor you, I know exactly how you feel

Chinchilla, hire out some videos that you really want to see, get some of your favourite take-away food so that you don't have to cook every night, and let the housework go a bit. When dh is away with work, I find that I can really relax and not have to be concerned with how untidy the house looks all the time. Why not spoil yourself a bit too?

chinchilla my dh is gong off skiing for a week in march without me too.
He thinks he is indispensible so it is going to be interesting

Darn, I wish my DH would go on holiday!

I live in Portsmouth, I don't think i could cope for a week without my dh, I would miss him so much. am i sad?

DH went away recently on a golfing holiday. I'd planned loads to do to keep the boys busy, and we had a great time.
TBH I quite enjoyed the evenings, treating myself, and watching what I wanted on TV(DH usually controls the remote).
I even got to see the 2nd part of a 2 part muder mystery thing !!!!
As long as you have planty planned you should enjoy yourself.
DH has gone out today and will not be back until late(I'll proberbly be in bed), but I quite like the freedom of knowing, I can go out all day with the boys and don't have to think of being back to cook tea.

Chinchilla, going to the cinema on your own is great, I do it often. When you really want to see a film it's much better not to have someone who may talk and interrupt your concentration. I must admit I only go during the day though so it's me and the pensioners! The tickets are also half-price here for the matinees so even better. Go and enjoy, you'll never look back.

I'm actually looking forward to it. Usually CAM, I'm the one talking and annoying my dh! As long as I don't get a weirdo sitting next to me I should be alright

The only day that I have nothing planned is tomorrow. People are generally busy at the weekends, but all my friends have been really kind and have said that I only need to call if I need anything, or am worried about anything. I think that I will pop into town tomorrow, and ds and I may have lunch somewhere, and then play on the swings in the park. I will then get a DVD for the evening. I am thinkning about 'Kate and Leopold', as I want a soppy funny one. I will also have an Indian takeaway, as I haven't had one for AGES.

I am surprised how little I am missing dh at this point. I actually enjoy the evenings, as I can watch as much or as little TV as I want, and can spend all night on Mumsnet, without him commenting! Plus, I am enjoying only cooking if I want to. I have bought loads of pre-prepared foods, although I did make a lasagne yesterday. YUM...

Anyway, I'm waffling now, but thanks for all your support everyone, and keep talking to me.

It sounds as if you have got everything sorted for yourself.....good for you, girl! I find that planning treats hels to keep me sane, and I try to do all the things that I 'can't do when Dh is around, have a face pack while I watch Shakespere in Love and stuff my face with a Domino's Pizza! You know the sort of stuff! Dh is due to go away on Saturday, and it could be for months this time. Grim

Hope time passes swiftly for you.

Aren't they always? I took one look at the title here and thought someone was on about yet another of the lazy beeps not doing any housework.I have decided to take action this yr on dh's lack of enthusiasm of diy and bloody well enrol myself on a course so I can fix the damn kitchen cupboard that has been off it's hinges now for a few weeks-I can't even tell the difference between a wrench and a spanner but I'm determined I will before the year is out.

Just survived dh going off on a weeks skiing with 2 smalls. Treated myself with a night on the town with the NCT girls midweek (babysitter cost me £20 but it was worth it) and something to do everyday. I'm really thankful that I have such a supportive network of friends who made sure that I was coping ok, ranging from phone calls to one dear friend giving up her Saturday night to help me with bath/bedtime, staying on to chat over a glass or two of wine. Had the best time with my 2 boys ever and havent felt so relaxed in ages, which simply amazed me. The worst day was the day dh was due back, I became enraged by the fact that he was delayed by 4hours. Learnt that men are completely unreliable and that you cope much better on your own!! Still, glad he's back all the same!

I was amazed how tidy the house stayed while DH was away, I used to think it was the kids that made all the mess !!!

Honeybunny - I don't suppose for one minute that he caused the delay! My dh's outgoing plane to Canada was delayed by 2.5 hours. They had to check in a 6am (at the latest) for a 9am flight, and then were sitting around for a further 2.5 hrs...I'd have been REALLY p*ssed off! Let's hope that he is on time on the way back next Sunday!

My ds has been a little angel so far. We had a couple of winges on Thursday am, because he was tired but didn't want a nap. However, other than that, I have kept him busy, and he always responds well to that. We are at my Mum and Dad's for a roast dinner tomorrow, which should be nice. He will love it because he loves them so much. He always gets really excited when we pull down the drive, it's really cute to see. The only other time that I am free until dh gets back is Wednesday afternoon, and I may use that time to take him to the zoo.

Ds thinks that dh is always in his office working. Because dh works from home, ds is used to expecting him to be in his office. I asked him tonight where Daddy was, and he pointed at dh's office. When I said that dh was not there, and that he was away, he put his bottom lip out, and huffed and puffed a couple of times. I think that he has genuinely though that dh has been in his office all the time since Wednesday morning! Obviously babies have no real concept of the passing of time!

Jac34 - just read your message. I was thinking the same today about how little washing I was having to do! It's funny, because dh tends to wear tops a few times before he puts them in the washing bin, so I don't understand it, but it's true...

jac34- totally agree. Our house was the most organised its been ever. Including the ironing being done, housework, no forgotten bins on bin night and no festering nappies awaiting washing in the bucket. Of course this means that I clearly have to be in charge of everything on the homefront, not something I relish.
Chinchilla- ok, so I know it wasnt dh's fault that he was delayed on the return, but it felt like it. Afterall.... no delays on the way out meant even more ski-ing than planned. That really helped to raise my green jealousy rages. And a return home time of after the shops shut on Sat was irritating. I'd been dreaming of some solo retail therapy on his return. Oh well, his loss, it meant no b-day pressie today.
Bitter.... me?

I know what you mean. My dh is a 'glass always half-empty' kind of guy. For weeks before going, he kept checking the snow forecasts, and moaning about the lack of snow. Now that he is there, he does not seem to be really ecstatic to be there. I keep wanting to say 'For God's sake, you're on holiday for 11 days, make the most of it.' In fact, I did say this before he went, and I think some of it sunk in. I mean, I know that he only gets to go once a year, so he wants the best conditions, but really, he could be here for 11 days, doing all the work, and having to sit on his own every evening, not able to have any alcohol, in case the worst should happen and a visit to A & E in the car is needed! I could do with a nice glass of wine at this moment. And, when he DOES get back next Sunday, he'll be so shattered that he will need to sleep, so I will still have to do everything for ds on that day. Then he goes back to work the next day! Not that I am complaining, as ds is being an angel so far, and we are having a nice time together.

OK, so today I am feeling a bit down. I am starting to miss dh, or could it just be that I am feeling lonely?!! Anyway, I had lunch with my SIL today, which was nice. People may have noticed that I am posting on here more than usual, which is because I am feeling so isolated in the evenings. There is nothing that I want to watch on TV, and ds goes to bed about 6.30pm at the moment. Anway, I haven't got anything interesting to add, I'm just looking for some sympathy I made a nice bacon, lentil, apple and carrot soup tonight, as mum is coming over for lunch tomorrow. It is really delicious...even though I say so myself. However, I don't expect ds will like it. I made him an aubergine, chorizo and chick pea pasta yesterday, which he ate a whole three spoonfuls of...ungrateful monkey.

My boys will eat anything, including my cooking.
DH does all the cooking, I'm useless, can only just about manage your basic kids type meals.
When DH was away, I made the boys home made chips(DH does not normally allow this, says it's too dangerous), they ate every bit, then DS said "That was a lovely tea Mummy, but sometimes the things you cook are black".

Jac34

Well, he is back tomorrow. I don't know where the time has gone! I had a lovely time today, as my parents had ds, and I went into town on my own. I had lunch out, and then went to the cinema to see 'Two Weeks' Notice', which was really good. Complete froth, but very watchable. I like Hugh Grant when he is not being a bumbling idiot, and Sandra Bullock is very likeable. I also wandered around town and looked in loads of charity shops, which I love doing.

Ds was a star with his Grandma and Grandad, and was really happy to see me, which was lovely. He kept running up and hugging me...aww, I love him so much. I'm feeling really refreshed after my day on my own, and thoroughly recommend it. It recharges the batteries. I had never been to the cinema on my own before, but my ad's seem to have given me new confidence, and I actually liked being there on my own. Fab day!

Glad you coped great and had a good time. Bet you realise just how much you missed him when you see him though.

Well, there's the funny thing! I felt lonely, but kept telling myself to enjoy the time as much as I could, because the nagging would start as soon as he got back. And do you know what, it did! We have had an argument, and he has told me to come on here like I always do...so here I am. I must admit that I have not been overly excited about his return, and have not been very loving to him. Most of the present situation is my fault, but I just don't want to be lovey dovey to him at the moment. Maybe it is the PMT that I am feeling at the moment, or maybe the ad's making my libido sink into nothing, but when he cuddled up to me on Sunday night, I wanted to lie as close to the edge of the bed as possible. I was tired anyway, but I think that he still took offence. I don't even know if he was after sex, but that was the last thing that I wanted.

I don't know what to do. When he is not here I miss him, but when he is he just makes me feel inadequate. I managed to look after the house, empty the bins, fill/empty the dishwasher, keep on top of the washing etc etc as well as keep ds happy while he was away, so how am I inadequate? I know that in order to make things better I have to try to be loving towards him, but I just don't want to be. He has tried to be affectionate to me since he got home, but it is not enough. I just don't feel affection towards him any more. I used to know that when we had bad times at least I loved him. Now I don't even know that anymore. We are going out to lunch and the cinema on Sunday, and M & D are having ds. So, I hope that we can rediscover some of our old feelings towards each other, because otherwise my indifference and his obsessive behaviour towards housework will drive us apart.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone else felt like this and mamaged to make it worK? He will not go to counselling with me, as I have asked him before. I am crying as I write this, but then I have had a glass of wine!