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Original poster

Would you allow a 6.11 to go to the local shop.

30 replies

twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 12:39

We live on the edge of a market town, town centre is at the end of the road. The town is two roads not particularly big or busy. In the centre is a spar and Dd has been nagging to go to the shop on her own. I have said no. I have come upstairs for a lie down and Dp has come up to say dd is walking to spar. There is one road to cross although she does know to use the pedestrian crossing. I have told dp I am not happy and he is to catch up with dd.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 09/08/2008 12:41

Ithink 6.11 too young if there's a road to cross. Every child is differnt but no child can judge speed and distance properly until they're about 12.

I let mine walk to school at 7 but no roads to cross.

HotTrouserCough · 09/08/2008 12:42

No

bamboostalks · 09/08/2008 12:43

Definitely not, too young.

ChasingSquirrels · 09/08/2008 12:43

depends on the size of the town I guess, but I probably wouldn't be happy.
I did come on the thread assuming it was a corner ship down the road and I was going to post that I would let my 5.10y do that (if we had such a shop).

muggglewump · 09/08/2008 12:44

I've let mine and she's the same age. Also one road but she can cross it fine on her own and it's a quiet road. The shop is 2 minutes away.

JuneBugJen · 09/08/2008 12:46

not too sure about this one. depends on how mature.

Perhaps a comprimise of 'stalking' them a few times so they are by themselves, kindof and see how they cope with the hazards. Let them know that you are doing this tho!

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 12:49

She is back feeling very proud of herself. She spent her pocket money on a ring for of from a market stall outside of spar. I am feeling mean as I have told her she can't go again.

OP posts:
muggglewump · 09/08/2008 12:50

I did the stalking but I didn't tell her, I wanted to make sure she was being responsible when she thought I wasn't watching.
It's quite common where I live (as in all the kids do it, not that I live in a common area!)

JuneBugJen · 09/08/2008 12:50

what a sweetheart!

Well, if she handled it well this time perhaps she is old enough.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 12:52

She is very mature and independent but I am still not sure. I sent dp out to stalk her.

OP posts:
IllegallyBrunette · 09/08/2008 12:53

No

fortyplus · 09/08/2008 13:00

It is really hard, isn't it? To make that judgement about how much independence to allow them.

A friend's son (very mature and sensible or so it seemed) got knocked down by a car during his first week at secondary school. He used a pelican crossing but was chatting to his friends so pushed the button and stepped straight out without waiting for the green man!

Luckily he suffered only a broken finger, a nasty graze on his face and some bruising.

We all give our children credit for being sensible, but one lapse of concentration could have ended in disaster... and that's an eleven year old.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 13:02

Mugglewump I have noticed a few children on their own as well. Yesterday there were two children sat outside the church having a picnic. Maybe children in rural areas have more freedom as it is perceived to be safer.

OP posts:
Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 13:06

That is exactly what I said to dp fortyplus.

OP posts:
muggglewump · 09/08/2008 13:13

I live on an estate TandP in a small town and it is common for kids to be out playing from a young age. DD has been out since she was 4 although I hovered to start, she's fine now. There's no road in my street though and my house backs on to woods which I can see from the window. I totaly trust her not to disappear or go on to the road or cross it without permission, she's never broken these rules in over 2 years so I let her have a bit more independence.
I do appreciate that one lapse could end in disaster but you have to let them go at some point. I know for most people, that's probably at more than 6.10 but it felt right for us.

fortyplus · 09/08/2008 13:14

Yes - I think that's the thing - however sensible they are most of the time they get excited and distracted quite easily, don't they? Mine are 13 and 14 now and I've recently started letting them go on 'proper' bike rides. So they'll go to my mum's, which involves cycling up a narrow but busy country lane. Or over to their cousin's house - 12 miles altogether. Starting off with having to cycle across town on main roads, but then joining a cycle track for acout 9 miles. My heart is in my mouth every time they do it, but I'd never let them know that!

wessexgirl · 09/08/2008 13:17

I was considered a sensible six year old, but still thought it was a good idea to step out into the road from behind the bread van. Luckily somebody had very effective brakes, or I might not be here now.

Err on the side of caution, definitely .

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 13:21

So if I would not allow it and most of you would not why does dp think I am being over protective.

OP posts:
sallystrawberry · 09/08/2008 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muggglewump · 09/08/2008 13:28

Perhaps your DH thinks she is capable?
I know I let DD but I don't know where everyone else lives, I might say no way if I lived in another area. I let DD cross one particular road in this area, that doesn't mean all roads everywhere!

fortyplus · 09/08/2008 13:51

twinsetandpearls - because he works on the theory that she'll probably be fine, whereas you're looking at what could possibly happen?

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 09/08/2008 14:37

Yes that does sound like the way we work. I am the worrier where as he will say what are the chances? If the chance of something going wrong are small we will in ahead while I will worry.

OP posts:
juuule · 09/08/2008 17:19

No, I wouldn't.
And definitely not on their own.

flack · 09/08/2008 22:15

When we were 6 most of us would have been allowed to go... and frankly, the roads where I live now are a lot safer to cross than where I lived when I was 6. Maybe that's why your DH thinks it's ok, twinset?

I don't think it is any more dangerous nowadays, but we perceive the danger as unacceptable whereas our parents weighed it up differently (for better or worse).

We have just started to occasionally let 8yoDS go to shop in similar environment to OP's situ. I suppose I will let DS go more regularly as he gets older, right now it's only about once a month (and I watch the clock the whole time he's out). It is common for 6yo children to play out alone in this area (also rural, like going back in time 20 years in many ways).

Sidge · 09/08/2008 22:21

I've only just started letting DD1 go to the shop down the road and she's 9.5.

So no I wouldn't let a nearly 7 year old go alone.