LOL at this thread! I love the patter. In our house DH is an east-coaster (pointy-heid) and I am a west-coaster (weegie), and there are a good few words and phrases that seem to be unique to one or other. My MIL calls shoes "yer shin" (?) and DH and his mates all seem to call each other "neebor" (neighbour)
"Humphy-backit" makes me laugh, because of a particular time my dad, to the mortification of my mum, told a joke about a humpback to a neighbour with a hump (he was unaware she had one, somehow!) Mum went through him like a dose of salts when she got him home. Two days later, she was in having coffee with said neighbour, and dad went looking for her. When he eventually found her, he exclaimed "Here you are!! I'm humphy-backit running after you!" Eejit!
But one of my favourite examples of Scots is the poem "Lament for a lost dinner ticket" which goes
See ma mammy? See ma dinner ticket?
Ah pirrit in ma poakit and she pirrit in ra washin machine!
See yon burnty up where the fire wis?
I only went tae eat ma poak a chips fur ma dinner
Anabigwaffledoon
the wummin said, "Ah ver near c'lapsed!
Just her heid and her wee wellies stickin oot!"
They said "What happened?"
On ma belly. N'a bed n'a hoaspital
Ah said "Ah pirrit in ma poakit and she pirrit in ra washin machine!"
They said "Is this child absolutely non-verbal?"
Ah said "Ma bum's sair" and went tae sleep