5 yo boys and toy guns: a quick poll

[frogs]

I know lots of mners have 5yo boys, so thought I'd do a quick check to see what your policies are on toy guns. As I see it, there are 5 choices:

1. Ban all guns, including pretend ones made out of sticks or Lego.

2. Allow stick or Lego guns, but nothing else.

3. Allow toy guns as long as obviously not realistic, eg. pop-guns, water-pistols.

4. Allow realistic toy guns if given by others, but wouldn't buy them yourself.

5. Allow pretty much anything.

FWIW, I've gone for no. 3, with the added proviso that he's not allowed to point the pretend gun at any one, or play 'bang-bang you're dead' kind of games. That's mainly because I don't personally like the whole guns thing, maybe cos I grew up without brothers. But I know ds loves toy guns, and his face lights up when he goes to other boys' houses and sees their armouries, and sometimes wonder whether I should just get over myself.

What do you all think?

My eldest ds is 3.6 and up until now has not shown any interest, though to be honest he is not that interested in any other typical "boys" toys either such as cars, trains. I think this is partly because he has an older sister and tends to want to join in with what she is playing. (I have noticed that boys of his age with older brothers are more likely to be into guns, superheroes, etc.)

HOWEVER, we were walking his sister to school the other day and met up with my friend who has a seven yr old ds. My ds started to shout "pill, pill" and pointing at this boy and. I asked him afterwards what pill was (knowing full well) and he said "It's when you shoot someone with a gun". He has just moved from playgroup to nursery and he said this is what some of the boys at nursery do. I did feel sad that this has started but I guess it is inevitable.... don't plan to buy him any toy guns for the forseeable future though.

I remember all the little boys playing with cap guns, etc when I was a kid (and us girls often joined in) and none of them turned out bad so I'm trying to take a relaxed view on this. I think we are lucky to live in a country where there is tight gun control. A few years back I visited a friend living in a southern US state. Her ex had recently given their 8 yr old son a real gun and she was annoyed, not because of this, but because he hadn't taken the time to show her son how to use it!!!!

I'd be number 5. I don't think playing with guns encourage children to be violent, frnakly I think toy swords are worse because they hit each other with them. I don't think mine play with guns as much as I did when I was young. I always had a cap gun, and played endless games where I was a cowgirl and had to shoot the bad guys or out draw them. Ahh those were the days.

I'd say 5 as well. I don't think toy guns make children violent. It comes naturaly to most boys to play games with guns/swords, realistic or self-made. And I think that's normal and healthy as long it's a game and they are not actually hurting anyone. They need to act out their emotions and shouldn't be made to feel bad about it - it's just imaginative play, same as playing with dolls...pretty much. Toys are toys - not real guns, and they know it.
I've read about how kids should learn to control their agression and not supress it and bottle it up, which would be much worse in the long run.
There is one exception to 5, though - although ds is not old enough for that yet, being only 4.7 - and that's violent computer games. I've seen older kids play them - horrible things, some show realistic-looking blood when you shoot someone - stuff like that - I can definitely say I'm never ever buying anything like that!

I agree, I think maybe the violent computer games are worse than the toy guns. But I don't know why I say that, sheer prejudice perhaps, and in the hope that someone better informed than me will come on and tell me I'm right and give me a list of reasons why!

in the same way that cowboy films are infinitely more naive, less explicit and horrific than modern day war films?

i have to say, my dh had an air rifle when he was a boy and also plays (still!) war games on the computer, but is the least violent man, kind gentle, sensitive etc...i don't think it always follows...

don't know what i'm going to do with regards to ds, but this thread is food for thought!

I look at how this society in this country is going, sadly! With swords and our culture, they are historical - knights and all that. With guns unfortunately, they are just toomuch in the media, too much of a status symbol depending on where you live, and too cool for somes sections of youth, not at least because they are shown in god knows how many TV programmes. I look at it this way - a gun is designed for one thing only, to kill. So is a flick knife. Would you let your child play pretend killing with a flick knife, ie, "I've stabbed you, you're dead!"

But mummyloves - did you know that Knife crime in the UK is more prolific than Gun crime?

Yep, I know better than most I'm a copper! And when I see the armed response to stupid "streetwise" children, with replica guns, being "BIG" when they are robbing their juvenile victims at lunchtimesit makes me shudder! Knives are only "more responsible" for violent crime because unfortunately they are more accessible. This still doesn't mean that I would want to glorify it and have "Toy flick-knives" on the shelves of "Toys R Us".

a neighbour boy came round to play with my ds (aged 5) on Friday. His 1st words to me were "does he have any guns" I said no. He replied, "what's he got then, DOLLS?"

atm we're at 2, but could easily go to 4 without too much struggle. I'd have loved a cap gun when I was little, but was only allowed girly toys. I'm reliving my missed childhood through my sons - car heaven

I hovver around level 3 with DS, 3.5, as a sop to my own pinko-liberal-feminist sensibilities rather than as an effective strategy for instilling a sense of world peace into DS!
LOL Marina (the toast!) and MI - Armed Princesses.

DS loves swords (esp pirate), and has now cottoned on to guns, but doesn't realise that they are actually designed to kill and maim - nor, of course, what that actually means. He thinks swords are for clashing against each other, not for stabbing into people. And guns are about bangs and exlposions, not pain and death.

I did stop DS taking him to the Imperial War Museum this w/e - at this age I think he's more likely to incorporate death and destruction
into his games as further 'glamour', and not old enough to understand the full awful currency of real weapons. So I'm saving that until he is old enough to fully understand.

I get shot by an arrow at least once a day, which is while i am in bed and ds is trying to get me out of the bed!

Ds is 5 in 2 weeks. Is into swords, battle axes, maces, bow and arrows etc etc the whole knight thing. He is also into guns, lightsabre, disc shooters and any rough and tumble. dp has even made ds foam swords so he can spar.

Whilst he has got all of these things and plays with them in stereotypical style he also loves gentler things and his fav colour is pink (bless )

Just bought his best friend (little boy) birthday present and asked his mum what he likes.. answer.. guns, swords etc.

I can remember watching cowboys and indians as a little girls and pretending i was a cowgirl. I used to play with swords etc and was always taught that real fighting was bad.

To sum up, I wouldnt want to personal buy him a realistic army outfit, handgrenades, guns etc but.. i know that if he was bought it by someone he would love it.

Did anyone see child of our time? Apparantly playing computer games helps child develop planning skills etc, I know feel a little better when he plays a little longer on the ps2 - i do try ot limit it though

Ds1 1s almost 5,and I have progressed from 1 through to 5 in the past few years.It just doesn't seem important to me anymore.I suppose I used to think that he wouldn't be interested in violent games if he didn't have guns etc,but it's what he is into (along with lots of other stuff)and thats just him.Dd(3y 4m) also joins in-they have matching sets of knight gear and a laser gun each.The main problem is getting good quality combat toys-probably because they are unfashionable now.

DS1 is 3y4m. I've slid from 1 or 2 to 4. Well, except that I myself don't get involved in gun games.

Actually, I've recently decided that every time I get shot, I will give DS1 lots of kisses and maybe a lick or two. It doesn't seem to be putting him off shooting, but it makes it all more tolerable to me.

Ds1 is 4.5yrs and we're at option 5. He loves to play with toy guns, especially the ones that make a noise when you pull the trigger. Water pistols are his favourite things to play with in the summer.

He really only points them at people when he is playing with dh (with the exception of water pistols). He has absolutely no interest in the real thing though.

We have had some great times in the holidays playing with water pistols in the garden and generally soaking each other.

Hi I have 2 sons 4 & 7. Both love toy guns, swords, Light sabres etc.. And if there aren't any to hand when a good game springs to mind a stick, a few bits of lego, a couple of pegs linked together even a finger (with sound effects will do!)I seem to remember playing similar games as a child though more cowboys and indians, less lasers, light sabres and aliens. Enemies are all of course make believe.
Interestingly my 4yo asked the other day whether they still made planes which dropped bombs and killed people he was horrified and stated that grown ups should know better, and they should!. N

Cheers Everyone

no to everything except standard water pistol
even avoid lego toys with guns, although I think a power rangers transformer snuck through once
DS is now 10 I feel very strongly about guns, simulated or not

My DS loves swords and guns and makes them out of pieces of wood. I wouldn't get him a realistic one, but only because I wouldn't want him to be shot by the police. I used to love guns when I was a kid and wore my holsters everywhere.

I think that if I teach my child empathy and responsibility for his actions then he is unlikely to join a gang or be violent to other people. - Well that is what I hope

I've slid down the slippery slope from 1 to 5. I believe in the total ban option but the drip drip effect of lego to water pistols etc plus a dh who works with weapons and 2 boyish boys has led us to finally giving in. Both DSs were given small plastic pistols a couple of months ago that we'd been hiding for years. My last remaining stand is to refuse to take part in any gun games (acting dead etc) and take the opportunity of telling the boys that I don't like gun games because (Insert moral lecture Bla bla here.) Interestingly they played with the guns non stop for a few days and haven't picked them up now for more than a month. Perhaps we make guns seem too appealing by being the forbidden fruit -just a thought...

Hate guns and dh has 3 BB guns in the house which dd has seen but doesn't know what they are (and they are out of reach). Can't stand it but have given up moaning about it.

I don't really like guns (despite the fact I used to play cowboys/girls when I small & I haven't grown into a gun weilding maniac!). DS is 4 & hasn't got any guns but it made me smile the other day as he was happily playing with his ELC Marble Run thing. He fitted some of the bits togther, picked it up & then came to tell me that one end shot fireballs & the other fired arrows ! What can you do ?????

I've moved from 1 when they were first into guns through 2 and am now at 3 shading into 4. I've clearly lost the battle, haven't I? I throw realistic looking guns away as soon as the novelty has worn off though.

I have no problem with guns and swords anymore, I never let mine have them until someone bought a sword as a gift when ds1 was two, they are very good with them and they never seemm to play with them for more than 5 mins at a time, neither of my two are aggressive, but I have to admit I have always tried to steer them away from weapons when I have taken them to a toy shop, as I think one of each is enough.

DS1 was given a realistic looking gun as a party bag present about 2 days after September 11. It went in the bin sharpish. The poor mother can't have known when she bought them...
Nowadays though he's 6.5 and very interested in the historical detail & reads about battles & makes very well observed muskets out of Lego. DH was also a history nut as a small boy and is sympathetic. I have seen child soldiers in action and I find it difficult. I do regularly ask him what he thinks will happen to the families of the fighters he says he's killed. And I'm guilty of introducing him to Star Wars.